Report: Los Angeles Now Has More Bed Bugs Than New York

Categories: New York Shitty

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Best Coast bed bugs.
​Looks like we might have to stop making fun of New York Shitty for its bed-bug problem.

According to a new report from giant pest-control company Orkin -- based on the number of treatments it conducted in each major U.S. city last year -- L.A. experienced somewhat of an embarrassing bed-bug renaissance in 2011.

The numbers are staggering:

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Cleo Berry, Los Angeles Actor With 2 Legs, Photoshopped Into Diabetic Amputee by NYC Health Department

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Facebook
Cleo Berry: alive and two-legged.
​It's one thing to wake up to a heroic graphic design of your face on the cover of TIME, a la Sarah Mason of Occupy L.A.

It's another to wake up to an unflattering (and even more unflatteringly manipulated) photo of yourself on a New York City billboard, and all over the Internet, posing as a fat guy who ate so much junk food that he had to get his leg amputated.

Welcome to L.A. actor/director Cleo Berry's Friday night:

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'L.A. Is the Future' of the Tech Revolution, Says NYC Media Guru

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Kerry Tribe
Welcome to the future, New York.
​The Neiman Journalism Lab at Harvard is running a nice 2011-ending series on what the next year will look like for journalism, by an esteemed fleet of think-piecers who've braved this rocky field for the last few.

You've got plenty of your usual fare: Social media is everything! Commenter is king! Down with the paywalls! Apps! Apps! Apps!

But one prediction in particular is crazy uncharacteristic of that crowd. University of Washington-bred media man Rex Sorgatz, now a full-fledged New Yorker, is biting the bullet and giving some pre-emptive kudos to Los Angeles, which he has dubbed "the future" of new media.

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Occupy Wall Street Considers Moving to L.A. for Cold Winter Months

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Carolyn Cole/Los Angeles Times
Will OWS thaw its toes out west?
Update: And while they're here, they might as well "Occupy the Rose Parade," right?

SoCal's famously bland winter weather is looking mighty appealing to the frozen campers at Occupy Wall Street right about now.

The roughly 200 tents occupying New York's Zuccotti Park are facing a long season of snowstorms and freezing temperatures. "Is it time to Occupy Miami Beach?" one camper wondered aloud to a Los Angeles Times reporter last month.

But today, USC zine Neon Tommy reports that L.A. might be the next best thing. David DeGraw, a head organizer for OWS, "told a crowded tent at Occupy L.A. on Sunday night" ...

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Pacific Standard Time Is 'Overcompensation' for L.A.'s Cultural Inferiority Complex, Says New York Times

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From Ed Ruscha's "Standard Editions."
​Dude. New York can't stand to see us happy! Here we were, totally lit on our 1960s selves, museum-hopping in our California sundresses whilst trying to forget the "hopping" part took 30 minutes in traffic, and the East Coast's Times of record has to jump in all misinformed and catty to remind us we're not NYC.

Well, good -- 'cause we don't wanna be.

Just as the Wall Street Journal completely missed the point, earlier this year, in assuming the tacky (yet quarantined) influx of moneyed developments into the L.A. Live area somehow signaled a wannabe "Manhattanization" downtown (WTF)...

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New York Earthquake: You're Doing it Wrong

Categories: New York Shitty

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'Aftershock: Earthquake in New York'
​Among the things our New York rivals suck at -- driving, Thai food, surfing in winter -- responding to a moderate earthquake has to top the list.

Don't get us wrong, a 5.8 is the real deal. But it's nothing to panic about. Remember, the epicenter was 316 miles away from New York.

That's more than the driving distance between L.A. and Las Vegas (and trust us, if a 5.8 hit Vegas we wouldn't be evacuating buildings here). It's even more than ...

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East Coast vs. West Coast Calamities: First an Earthquake, Now a Hurricane -- And They Fear SoCal?

Categories: New York Shitty

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Greenwich Village.
​In the few years we spent "back east" we heard many a disparaging thing about our native California, not the least of which was its propensity for natural and man-made calamities, from earthquakes and flooding to wildfires and riots.

You can just hear your aunt saying she'd never, ever settle down in SoCal.

But this summer is giving the East Coast a little taste of its own medicine.

After all ...

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NYC Thinks L.A. Wants to Be 'Manhattanized'

Categories: New York Shitty

manhattanization.jpeg
NYC wannabe?
​Well! This is insulting. And so very in line with New York media's ridiculous attempts to pin down Los Angeles after spending one night in a downtown hotel with a notepad and a smog mask.

TIME Magazine runs a big out-of-touch feature today on the alleged "Manhattanization" of downtown L.A., which has allegedly gone from the tumbleweedy "laughingstock" of West Coast party people to a "happening city center" where your average TIME reporter is likely to come across "apparently inebriated clubgoers" climbing atop Denny's signs and waving their arms for an "off-balance picture."

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Are New Yorkers Cooler Than Angelenos?

Categories: New York Shitty

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TimeOut
​Are New Yorkers cooler than people from L.A. You know the answer to that question. After all, we didn't invent the bridge-and-tunnel crowd.

And nobody here is going to tell you to forget about it.

The website Correlated is running an online poll today asking that very question.

And guess what?

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California Loves Google+ Twice as Much as New York

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Our kinda girl.
​What is it about Google+ that's so much more attractive to Californians than New Yorkers?

Yes, the famed Googleplex is located in our nerdy nothern region (another reason not to secede, you freaks), with a chic southern satellite right here in Venice, and yes, we're all a bunch of social-media-binging fame whores, but according to "Find People on Plus," we have twice as many users as New York, at 22,000 [via LAist].

Seems like a disproportionately huge gap, if you ask us. Population could account for some of it:

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Short Skirt-Wearing Bicyclist Too Sexy For New York Cops (But She'd be Welcomed in L.A.)

Categories: New York Shitty

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New York Daily News
​In our ongoing series of posts called "New York Shitty" we've repeatedly documented the superiority of Los Angeles over the Big Apple.

But none of our jabs could make the point as well as this story: A cop in New York actually stopped a short-skirt wearing tourist who was riding a bike to inform her she was showing off to much below the waist.

We can almost guarantee you that ...

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VIDEO: Brooklyn Bicycle Thieves Cut Down Ginkgo Tree to Steal Bike

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sea turtle via Flickr
Next time, try more Xtreme measures
​A tree did not grow in Brooklyn early yesterday morning (har har) when a troupe of bicycle thieves -- dead set on jacking a bike tied to a sidewalk ginkgo -- chopped down the innocent tree in cold blood. [Spotted at Flying Pigeon LA.]

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Hotel Maid Panic Buttons For New York City Hotels Following Strauss-Kahn's Alleged Rape of Room Attendant

Categories: New York Shitty

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unclebumpy
Code red.
​As if New York isn't pleasant enough, with it's subway rats, bed bugs and generally shiny, happy people, a couple of hotels there have taken it upon themselves to equip their maids with panic buttons.

You know, to prevent the likes of former International Monetary Fund honcho Dominique Strauss-Kahn from getting his (alleged) rape on.

We can't be too judgmental, though. One of our own, Charlie Sheen, probably did his part to inspire the warning system too, since he went apeshit in a hotel room there late last year (though we're not sure a panic button would have helped, unless it could have summoned the nearest coke dealer).

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West Hollywood City Hall, With Severe Case of New York Penis Envy, Pays $2.6 Million for Space-Age Stacked Parking (VIDEO)

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Car, meet Robot.
​The suave, sophisticated WeHo aesthetic is about to get even sillier -- with a $2.6 million Unitronics parking garage. According to City News Service, it uses "computer-controlled lifts and conveyors to move vehicles into parking spaces."

Yay for robots! Mayor John Duran is already hopelessly in love with his new toy, beaming in a city statement today:

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Statue of Liberty on U.S. Postage Stamp Is Actually Newer, Hotter Vegas Version From 'New York-New York'

Categories: New York Shitty

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Everything's sexier in Vegas!

Even New York's world-famous Statue of Liberty, apparently. Her likeness stands over the Las Vegas strip, torch raised...

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East Coast Colleges to Ship More Film Students to L.A. -- But Are They Welcome?

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The Others shall walk among us
​Yeah, yeah, we know. There's really no better place in the world to study filmmaking than the glamorous studio sprawl of Los Angeles -- or, as that golden-oldies station puts it, the Entertainment Capital of the World.

Better still, all that studying has the potential to evolve into some actual doing in L.A., as the next movie or commercial set is never more than a stone's throw away.

Two separate East Coast schools are giving into their coastal inferiority in 2011. Syracuse University and Emerson College will both be offering more spots in their cross-country "study abroad"-type programs...

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Bad Brooklyn Tortoise Knocks Over Heat Lamp, Starts Fire, Kills Turtle

Categories: New York Shitty

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Nothin' to see here
Them city tortoises. Just can't be satisfied with a normal tortoise life of walking in circles and staring at inanimate objects. That's for hicks!

The New York Post reports that Giovani the Bad Brooklyn Tortoise, looking for a big adventure on a Sunday afternoon, used his basketball-sized tortoise body (gross) to send his plastic terrarium careening to the floor, where the heat lamp introduced itself to a can of paint thinner and such massive chaos ensued that it took 60 firefighters to set things straight.

There are so many lessons to be learned here, New York.

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L.A. Sheriff Lee Baca Defends Muslims in U.S. Capitol: Since 9/11, 65 Percent of Terrorist Attackers Have Been Non-Muslim

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L.A. Sheriff Lee Baca: Terrorists come in all colors but red, white 'n' blue
Update: One Muslim leader in L.A. says the FBI has failed to build trust with possible informants in every way Baca has succeeded.

We're proud to call L.A. County Sheriff Lee Baca our own today, as he does both Los Angeles and the nation a solid by sticking up for thousands of innocent Muslims at the House Homeland Security Committee's hearing on U.S. Muslim radicalization.

The hearing was called by -- who else? -- Rep. Peter King (New York), the guy who recently proposed Wikileaks be declared a "terrorist organization." So yeah, this is the kind of wackjob Baca's up against.

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Charlie Sheen's L.A. Porn Party Bumps Egypt 'Chaos' to Bottom of New York Post

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New York Post
The important things in life
​We're all about keeping tabs on the Lohans and Octomoms of the world, but Saturday's issue of the New York Post made us... well. Let's just say there may have been some guilt-laced acid reflux involved.

We've been doing a lot of thinking since then. You know, about our place in the universe. The state of the union. Evolution. That kind of thing.

Not that the Charlie Sheen-Kacey Jordan "36 hour party" isn't exactly the kind of story we can expect from the Post [or better yet, read the LA Weekly's version! Heh]. It's more just --

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Rodney Alcala, SoCal's 'Dating Game' Serial Killer, Charged With 1970s Murders of Cornelia Crilley and Ellen Hover in New York

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Rodney Alcala on the "Dating Game" in 1978
​The creepiest serial killer since "American Psycho" just got a little creepier.

Sixty-seven-year-old Rodney Alcala, infamous for his calm, sophisticated demeanor and cameo on the "Dating Game" -- he won, but the date never happened because was voted down because the girl found "something creepy" about him [watch video here] -- apparently made a couple trips to New York during his 1970s killing spree. Anonymous officials tell the New York papers today that he's been indicted for the cold-case killings of Cornelia Crilley and Ellen Hover.

Christine Pelisek, the LA Weekly's former serial-killer expert, delved into the psyche of a madman with "Rodney Alcala: The Fine Art of Killing." Alcala is already on death row in California for strangling four women and a 12-year-old girl...

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