Wikipedia

A California deer in the road.

​Los Angeles police have a lot of animals to contend with on the mean streets of the second largest city in America. And sometimes cops have no choice but to shoot.

Officials say that was the case over the weekend when officers confronted ... a deer.

The deer, sadly, lost. But don't blame the boys and girls in blue just yet:

More >>

Rex Parris

​When he's not cracking down on Section 8 residents, it seems Lancaster Mayor Rex Parris is busy looking for other innovative ways to better his community.

For instance: birdsong. For the last 10 months, the city has been piping New-Agey music out of speakers along Lancaster Boulevard. In the Wall Street Journal this week, Parris claims that these soothing sounds have caused crime to plummet.

"We're not seeing that impulse-control crime," Parris told the Journal. "It has just been astonishing to us how the community has changed as a result of a one-half-mile stretch."
More >>

Birdstrike Blog

Not Douglas' pigeons. But probably related.

​Pigeon feeders are generally classified in the public consciousness alongside crazy cat ladies: Kinda freaky, yes, and not so pleasant to have as neighbors, but harmless overall -- a colorful community staple, even.

But Charles Douglas, 59, owner of Precise Roofing Company near Bob Hope Airport in Burbank, just took a bird lover's pastime to misdemeanor status...

More >>

poonomore.com

Genius.

​William Schindler, a retired schoolteacher who walks his little terrier mix down Griffith Park Boulevard in Silver Lake every morning, says he recently started to become "disturbed, seeing all the uncollected dog poop day after day." So he did what any self-respecting Good Samaritan would do: He started a cheap, convenient community business called "Poo No More." And made adorable flyers. Lots of them.

More >>

YouTube

Hide your dying grasses

​One of the best things about living in Los Angeles, as opposed to that other black hole of concrete and emissions: Goats. If you don't know what we're talking about, you chose the wrong neighbors. But there's hope for you yet -- a herd of baying, devouring goatkind has been unleashed upon Angels Knoll in downtown Los Angeles, best known for its super airbrushed cameo in "500 Days of Summer." (It's easy for Zooey Deschanel to pretend she likes the Eastside, when it looks this idyllic!) In reality, Angels Knoll is a pretty nasty-looking excuse for urban sanctuary, but luckily, the beleaguered Community Redevelopment Agency has some "Animal Farm" slave labor up its sleeve:

More >>

dogslifemagazine.com

Gary Michelson loves dogs. A lot.

​Calling all out-of-work animal researchers (or, perhaps, monkey-testing UCLA scientists, looking for redemption):

L.A. billionaire Gary Michelsen is dangling $44 million in grants -- and a $25 final prize -- to those who accept his challenge to come up with a surgery-free way of neutering animals. Michelsen's generosity is born of the pity he feels for the "3-4 million animals euthanized each year in U.S. shelters," according to today's prsser.

Hm. In light of this high-profile race to sterility, we'd like to offer Michelsen a prize of his own:

More >>

YouTube

​This post has been edited at the request of the suicidal man's friends, who believed its insensitivity "further endangered" him.

A 30-something man tried to commit suicide off a downtown L.A. apartment building, towering over the 100th block of East 7th Street, on Thursday evening. And we might be reporting the incident as a tragic death today, if not for one security guard-turned-Dr. Phil, a gaggle of resourceful LAPD officers and a firetruck full of seriously cool firetruck tools.

We'd also like to thank whoever climbed to the top of the building to capture a close-up of the rescue:

More >>

nakedvolleyball.com

In the San Onofre glory days, naked volleyball games went unchecked (and rampantly sunburned).

​The nudity laws in California, and on California beaches in particular, exist in a perpetual gray area -- a total headache for those who wish to live their lives outside the shackles of the status quo (and velcro, goddammit).

The state's penal code prescribes a misdemeanor for nudity, but only if it's carried out "lewdly." State parks don't allow any nudity at all -- but park officials could, if they so desired, designate clothing-optional areas on park land. Further blurring the lines, California's coastline is butchered into a bunch of arbitrary jurisdictions -- municipal, county, private, state-park, unassigned, etc.

The latest culture clash to result from that confusion is going down at the San Onofre State Beach / Camp Pendleton line...

More >>

Naoki Tomeno

​A teen skateboarder who allegedly raced through a California stop sign broadsided an old lady in a crosswalk, leading to her death, authorities say.

The 17-year-old from nearby Santa Cruz, who was not ID'd, wasn't arrested. The 83-year-old pedestrian, identified as Maryann Slettehaugh, was helicoptered to a hospital, where she died late Tuesday.

It all happened ...

More >>

Sergio Osuna

​Nude intruders are weird. Drunk nude intruders are weirder. But drunk, (half) nude intruders who crawl into bed with 10-year-old girls and sort of just lay there, all silent and creepy, are the stuff of Guillermo del Toro's nightmares. One traumatized little girl from Signal Hill can very much attest to this, after getting the unpleasant surprise of her life at 2 a.m. last Sunday:

"When I got up I was like, 'Who is this?'" the brave 10-year-old told CBS2 reporters yesterday. "The only thing I knew is that he was laying on my bed, facing me."

Police say 24-year-old Sergio Osuna of Whittier, reeking of alcohol, stripped down to his boxers during the big slumber-party crash...

More >>

Dude better come with a diamond grill

​Like the rest of Jesus' children, we were pretty mystified last winter when his likeness showed up in the buttspace of an old rocking chair in Costa Mesa, etched from chipping paint.

Orange County chair-owner Lou Balducci, after being informed by his housekeeper that the funny-lookin' wood knot was a blessing on his home, acted admirably humble about the whole thing, telling NBC LA, "I am not sure what I want to do with it. Right now, I am enjoying having it in my home and showing it to friends and family."

In the time between then and now, however, Chair Jesus (AS SEEN ON TV!) seems to have reached celebrity status:

More >>

Glendale Police Department

John Levin, wife killer and Pomeranian cooker

​They don't come much freakier than 46-year-old John Levin.

In September 1999, Levin was accused of fatally stabbing his wife, Michelle, in their West Fairview Avenue condo. Her body was found three days later, decomposing in Glendale with a stab wound to the neck, as Levin -- on the run and apparently suicidal -- attempted to flee into Canada. "When U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers arrested John Levin," reported the Glendale News-Press, "they noted in a report that his wrists were 'oozing blood.'"

Just yesterday, after a decade of prosecution, the 49-year-old was finally found guilty of the murder -- and entered a similar plea for a second offense:

More >>

IMDB

Ready to rage

​We're about to OD on stupid celebrity news today, but this one's too amazing to pass up -- a perfect "Game of Thrones" stabbing, involving one of Hollywood's biggest badasses, come true at some low-brow London pub. The Playboy Mansion is even involved (sort of)!

So late Sunday eve, the Daily Mail has gotten word that "Lord of the Rings" star Sean Bean was pounding 'em back at the Hill Bar and Brasserie in Camden, when a drifter outside the bar went totally Golem (whatever that means) on his Playmate girlfriend (NSFW photo after the jump!), making "lewd comments" as the couple enjoyed a fag break. This did not do good things for Bean's already-medieval testosterone levels:

More >>

​As the vast number of Baby Boomers continue to retire and get older, who's going to be there to drive them to dinner at 4:30 in the afternoon?

Who's going to teach them how to program their DVR?

The children?

Apparently not.

More >>

Glendale Police Department

Michael Toplin: Ridin' dirty

​If anyone has video of 31-year-old parolee Michael Toplin riding down Central Avenue on a pink bicycle fit for a 10-year-old last Wednesday night -- still outfitted in his grisly black prison jumpsuit -- please, PLEASE send it our way.

Aside from maybe a tankful of gas at $1.10 per gallon, nothing could make us happier to be alive than Tube of Toplin's goofy ass wobbling along the sidewalk like his getaway depended on it [Glendale News-Press; spotted at LA Curbed].

Fittingly, Toplin was already on parole for "receiving stolen property"...

More >>

Happy Mother's Day?

​Instead of a lush bouquet of flowers, coupons to mow the lawn, or yet another greeting card, why not get your mother what she really wants for Mother's Day?

What is it?

A tummy tuck and fake tits, apparently.

More >>

Not the victim.

​No. 1 worst place to play with your 1-year-old niece/nephew: an automatic-lock washing machine.

If only someone had provided such life wisdom to the 15-year-old aunt of an Ontario baby last night. KCAL9 reports that, while washing clothes with her mom and sister, she was "apparently... playing with the child and placed him in the washer." Bad call.

"I saw it tumbling and it was the sickest thing I ever saw," says laundromat patron and "Good Samaritan" Jeff Holquin. Video (no, not of the baby, you sicko) after the jump.

More >>

Angel cards... $200K. Not buying that crock... priceless.

​Gypsies who hand out fliers on the streets of West Hollywood can seem mighty trustworthy, we know; but when they start asking you to buy them gold bars and Mercedes Benzes, we'd hope your inner "This is a freaking scam" buzzer might start to go off.

Unfortunately for one L.A. 37-year-old, an Orange County psychic by the name of Lisa Debbie Adams allegedly plays the fear game better than Jafar's cobra stick:

More >>

There ain't room in this town for the two of us

​Taco shops are supposed to be peaceful territory -- you know, of love and mystery meat. So these two SoCal/YouTube blowouts, in which 1) Eastvale hooligans wreak havoc on Tacos del Rio and 2) Hillcrest trannies cat-fight over whose body is better at La Fuente, are unsettling, to say the least. But also hilarious. That's why we're watching them, over and over, until we commit to memory such sub-hilarities as the small dog thrown to the sidewalk and the ebony wig thrown to the adobe tile.

But is this becoming a dangerous trend? Something in the carnitas, perhaps? Judge for yourself:

More >>

Robert S. Donovan

A repo ended in a woman's death this week.

​A repo man who hooked up a car and started to two it away in Southern California this week inadvertently killed a woman as she reportedly tried to stop the action.

But authorities say he didn't know the woman was in harm's way.

KNX 1070 Newsradio reported the victim tried to stop the tow by taking a stand between the truck her vehicle. It all happened ...

More >>