A look at California's substance abuse counselors found that at least 23 of them were convicted sex offenders, with many having rape or child molestation on their records.
la vaca vegetariana / Flickr
That's according to a California Senate Rules Committee study of our lack of oversight for drug counselors in the Golden State:
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From the Department of Don't Even Try This At Home Kids comes this amazing story from the L.A. County Sheriff's Department.
LASD
Deputies say two of their own who had been conducting a pedestrian stop near West Hollywood early yesterday were inside their stopped patrol car when it was rear-ended by a drunk driver. You'd have to be pretty drunk to slam into the back of a black-and-white:
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This tagger must have the worst luck ever.
(Alleged) tagger down / LASD
Sheriff's officials said today they nabbed three spray-can artists after they were allegedly caught in the act over the weekend at Veterans Memorial Park in Sylmar, which was being patrolled by all-seeing deputies on horseback.
That's not the bad-luck part, however. Turns out one of the suspects initially got away, until he ran into ...
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After a guy got his iPad Mini and MacBook Pro laptop stolen by a massage girl he called to his hotel room, Burbank police are warning folks to use only reputable masseuses.
Karala Tourism
Um. Yeah. We have out doubts that the "victim" was searching for a real legit muscle-stroker at 4 o'clock in the morning. (Or maybe he was).
Here's what you really need to know:
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Updated at the bottom with a response from Hoopnotica, the video's maker.
Hoopnotica / YouTube
The L.A. Fire Department has been criticized recently for its response times, or at least the way it reports them, not to mention occasional firefighter shenanigans that include allegations last year that LAFD rigs were used as backdrops in two porn videos.
The latest scandal?
A "Firehouse Burlesque Hula Hooping" YouTube video (after the jump), filmed at ...
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Mitt Romney has been a great giver of gaffe in the last few weeks. Shortly after video showed him dismissing nearly half the nation as a bunch of non-taxpaying moochers he sported a fresh tan during an interview aimed at Latino voters last week.
mittromney.com
The latest: Over the weekend, the Republican presidential candidate compared California to a failing European nation. And this was during a trip to ... Beverly Hills and San Diego to beg rich people for campaign cash:
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The L.A. school district stands behind a decision to send an 11-year-old middle schooler to the principal's office after she wore tights that happened to match her African American skin tone.
KTLA News / screengrab
Her mother contends that she was sent home from Mt. Gleason Middle School in Tujunga because the brown pants too closely matched her skin.
But he district told the Weekly a different story:
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The flap over L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa's disputed approval of including references to God and Jerusalem in the Democratic party platform is proving to be ample ammunition for the enemy. 
Allen West / Facebook
As chair of the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte this week the mayor made three calls for an audible vote on God and Jerusalem before coming to a decision that required the approval of two-thirds of the delegates:
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If you're going to claim that you're too sick or injured to do your job, at least try not moonlight as a very public mixed martial arts fighter.
sherdog.com Rafael Davis.
Yeah?
Prosecutors announced that former L.A. firefighter Rafael Davis, who put in claims for workers' compensation insurance while taking on seven MMA bouts, has pleaded guilty:
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Next time you stab your girlfriend (and we really recommend you try not to do that), remember that the iPhone is a virtual GPS-tracking device.
Apple
That thought, apparently, didn't enter the head of one Juan Juarez-Castro, 33, who was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence early today after he was tracked via a Find My iPhone app, according to the LAPD.
Oops? Police told the Weekly it went down like this:
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Here at LA Weekly we pride ourselves at pushing the envelope of what can be exposed to the American news consumer.
@rebeccahallla Rebecca Hall.
Other media outlets aren't so progressive. But we'll tip our hat to KTLA for going where few local broadcasters have gone before.
Sportscaster Rebecca Hall said on air last night of legendary Dodgers' announcer Vin Scully:
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A would-be burglar picked the wrong house this morning and the suspect was met with the fists of fury of one LL Cool J, who had in fact warned us via classic rap songs that he's "hard as hell" and that his "mama said knock you out."
LL Cool J / Facebook
That's reportedly what happened to the intruder, who cops told the Weekly was a homeless man in his late 50s.
It all happened ...
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See also:
@KimKardashian
*Dark Knight Massacre: LAPD Sends Undercover Cops Into Area Theaters.
From the Department of Too Soon comes news of this unfortunate Twitter FAIL:
An online fashion retailer called Celeb Boutique was feeling the heat today after it capitalized on the trending popularity of the term Aurora to promote a Kim Kardashian-inspired dress it sells.
The site is based in the U.K. and claimed it was unaware that the trending topic was about this morning's massacre during a screening of the Batman film The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora, Colorado.
Here's what the site tweeted:
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Sunday and Monday headlines declared that the entire staff of Miramonte Elementary School in South L.A. has been fired following the sex-abuse scandal there earlier this year.
John Deasy.
Why? To quell a "culture of silence," the reports quoted L.A. Unified School District Superintendent John Deasy as saying.
He did say that. But it wasn't about firing the entire staff. Those folks are still employed by the district, in fact:
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After the fireworks fail seen around the world, the New Jersey company behind the spectacular, 4th of July dud in San Diego says it will do a make-up show if local organizers request one.
@benballer
August Santore, co-owner of Garden State Fireworks, told the Weekly this was the first time such a failure has happened the company's 122 years.
He blamed software that is used by many other companies, including Disneyworld and Seaworld:
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See also:
@BENBALLER
*San Diego Fireworks FAIL: What Went Wrong?
In the biggest fireworks fail since the invention of Viagra, Port of San Diego officials apologized for a "technical glitch" that turned its 4th of July "Big Bay Boom" into a premature explosion:
Yep, all the works went off at once about 5 minutes before the 9 p.m. start time of the show above Glorietta Bay between Coronado and San Diego, according to organizers. The rest of the show did not go on. But the adolescent oopsy lit up the local sky like a nuclear blast (see photo).
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It got so hot at Coachella over the weekend there was an explosion.
Darwin Bell
No, not the kind seen on-stage at the Coachella festival when holographic Tupac was on the mic: This was a real, honest-to-goodness blast of fire at an Indio McDonald's.
Riverside County Sheriff's officials say this is what happened:
So let's get this straight: During a week when the most pressing issue at the L.A. City Council was a toothless "resolution" condemning conservative talk-radio hosts for their racist leanings, the body passed up an opportunity to block a Chinatown Walmart that, it would seem, none of the powers that be in town (read: unions) want?
Say what?
It's true. The City Council missed a deadline ...
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Gloria Allred is perhaps the most sophisticated of celebrity lawyers. If there's a booby being inappropriately touched in the workplace somewhere, you know she'll be front-and-center with the victim, surrounded by a sea of news cameras.
Gloria.
But today Allred herself is being painted as a, well, boob.
She inadvertently blasted her media contact list to her ... media contacts yesterday. This gives you some insight into how Allred shamelessly gets press:
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Life is like a burrito--you never know what you are going to get. One day it could be carnitas; the next it could be black tar heroin or a meat thermometer. 
Budget Bytes Safety Tip: inspect burrito before consuming.
One LAUSD student was the unlucky eater of a thermometer burrito served up by her school's cafeteria. Yesterday, the parents of Dahlia Douglas filed suit against the school district over the incident, alleging that negligent supervision and negligent hiring of cafeteria workers were to blame, the L.A. Daily News reports.
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