LA Times

Team Alvarado fights back.

​Parents, students and star alumni gathered in front of Granada Hills Kennedy High this morning to protest the pending suspension of Manny Alvarado, the school's beloved (and wildly successful) baseball coach of almost a quarter-century. Alvarado "was informed last week he will be suspended for three weeks without pay for his role in an alleged hazing incident," according to the Los Angeles Times.

Cindy Kuykendall, a team mom, tells the Weekly that about 200 people staged a "positive, peaceful protest" to decry the suspension -- one that could affect not only Alvarado but "our children's future."

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Getty Images

Our sentiments exactly.

​Last night's Americana showdown at the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis was blaring on the TV sets of 47.8 percent of the nation's households -- Los Angeles very much included.

After all, we couldn't bear to be out of the loop on all the Super Bowl tweets and commercials and pop-culture commentary this hungover Monday! (Did y'all catch Gisele's hilarious post-game schooling of Tom Brady's teammates? And M.I.A.'s very non-world-peace-ful middle finger to the masses? Hashtag fever!)

But it was really, really hard for L.A. to care about the game itself.

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Bueller finally does the PCH.

​Thank you, Honda, for bringing to life Hollywood's wildest fantasy this Superbowl season: Ferris Bueller, our favorite high-school hooligan, playing hooky in our own backyard.

Sure, we get a tired, squarish, middle-aged version of Bueller, who has morphed into a very mortal Matthew Broderick, the actor who played him as a teen. Broderick sleeps in nice Westside hotels, drives a soccer-mom minivan (most essential to Honda's cause), and his greatest ideal of freedom is winning a stuffed panda at the Santa Monica Pier. But that's pretty much the reality ...

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U.S. Customs and Border Protection

Cheer up, niners fans -- at least America caught the bad guys.

​Did you buy your 49ers jersey on the street for around $40, instead of $80?

Then you probably fed into the thriving counterfeit-jersey black market, which thrives ever harder as the NFL season heats up, according to U.S. Customs and Border Protection spokesman Jaime Ruiz.

At LAX alone, Ruiz says, customs officers have seized 10,710 fake jerseys ...

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Here's the known, and rumored, list 15 of exceedingly rich Wall Street one percenters, fabulously wealthy moguls and hardcore baseball lovers who may -- or may not -- have made secret, non-binding $1 billion bids to buy the Dodgers before the January 23, 2012 deadline expired.

Tom Barrack, billionaire castle owner and Hollywood insider.

​1. Tom Barrack, colorful Santa Barbara jet-setter who struck it rich as an Arabic-speaking adviser to Saudi princes. A billionaire who hobnobs with Hollywood and runs $36 billion Colony Capital private-equity firm, he owns Neverland and polo fields. Number 375 on Forbes 400 list of the rich.
2. Ron Burkle, L.A. supermarket magnate and aging party boy, owns the Pittsburgh Penguins, runs huge Yucaipa Companies. The thin-skinned Burkle is deep into Democratic Party politics and the studio investing scene. He's 107 on Forbes 400.
3. Alan Casden, Beverly Hills accountant-turned-apartment king who built 90,000 units. A billionaire math whiz, Casden lost to Frank McCourt in buying the Dodgers in 2003. Casden wanted to demolish Dodger Stadium -- to build apartments. Number 359 on Forbes 400.
4. Fred Claire, Dodger GM fired by Fox in 1998 for slamming its trade of Mike Piazza. Paired with Andy Dolich, former prez of the Oakland Athletics, and Ben Hwang, former Dodgers batboy who became an exec at Carlsbad biotech firm Life Technologies Corp.
5. Steven Cohen, worth $8 billion, an aggressive and controversial Wall Street trader and hedge fund exec at SAC Capital Advisors in Connecticut. Paired with baseball agent Arn Tellem. Cohen is 35 on Forbes 400.
Please see next page for ten more possible bidders.

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Torre's coming back for more.

​If Frank McCourt is the most hated man in baseball -- and in Los Angeles in general -- Joe Torre might be the most loved.

Which makes Torre's surprise resignation as executive vice president of the MLB, and announcement that he'll pursue ownership of the Dodgers alongside major L.A. developer Rick Caruso, welcome news this morning for skeptical bid-watchers.

Here are his parting (and opening) words:

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​Hedge fund billionaire Steven Cohen, who is bidding for the L.A. Dodgers, has at least one thing in common with Frank McCourt: Both have been through an ugly divorce.

Cohen divorced his first wife, Patricia, more than 20 years ago. But the two have been locked in a bitter struggle ever since, according to this 2010 New York magazine story. Patricia has accused him of insider trading and hiding assets during their divorce proceedings. (Her lawsuit was thrown out in March.) Cohen is quoted as describing her as "a terrorist on a mission to make my life a living hell."

Some other items of note for Dodger fans:
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NBA

Laker gyaru.

​We're beginning to think L.A. is the Rodney Dangerfield of cities -- you know, no respect. Despite our celebrity, natural beauty, and second-only-to-New York size, we suck in so many ways. Our traffic is the worst. Our roads are almost the worst. Our do-nothing City Council gets paid more than any other across the land.

What we need is a shot of self-esteem. What we need is ... the Lakers!

What was that? 1 and 2? Lost to the Clippers pre-season? Arg. Sounds about right:

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bossip.com

The once happy couple

​Update: Statement issued by Bryant's publicist after the jump

According to TMZ, Vanessa Bryant, Kobe Bryant's wife of 10 1/2 years, is filing for divorce from the NBA superstar.

The couple had survived Kobe's cheating ways in 2003, when he was charged with sexual assault at a hotel in Colorado. The charges were dropped in 2004.

But now, Vanessa Bryant is saying that her husband has been unfaithful yet again.

Vanessa is asking for joint custody of the couple's two young daughters and for spousal support. The kicker is...

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Frank McCourt: When you control the parking, you control the world

​We honestly thought we were done with Frank McCourt last month, when, after two years of bitter legal wrangling, he finally agreed to sell the Dodgers.

But we should have known better. Like an unkillable zombie, McCourt simply refuses to go away.

Under the terms of his agreement with Major League Baseball, McCourt will get to hold onto the parking lots surrounding Dodger Stadium. The agreement, posted below, was filed publicly last night and was first reported by the L.A. Times' Bill Shaikin. (Does that guy ever sleep?)

In all likelihood, the new owner will have to lease the parking lots from McCourt, providing him a reported $10 million annual revenue stream. McCourt will also have the right to develop the parking lots. Think shopping, dining, entertainment -- maybe even a football stadium. Bottom line: McCourt is not going anywhere.
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tenaciousme

​Thanksgiving is upon us, so it's time to bow our heads and be thankful that at least somebody in the family has a job, medical marijuana is still around (for now) and a bloody presidential election is still nearly a year away.

And, after the dreaded Frank McCourt vowed to sell the Dodgers, we should also be thankful that these guys probably aren't buying:

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southla.wordpress.com

The good old days.

​Kobe and the gang aren't the only ones out of work amid this ridiculous NBA lockout. The longer they continue to turn up their noses at NBA officials' proposed season contract -- admittedly a pretty lousy deal -- the longer those beleaguered Hooters waitresses who rely on basketball fans for business are locked out in the cold, as well. (Cue winter-nipples-in-flimsy-uniform fantasy...)

If that's not the 1 percent holding down the 99 percent, then shred our tents and call us hippies.

"The deadlocked contract talks have hit particularly hard on a new Hooters restaurant..."

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@HQEpps via Twitter

Knight in shining armor: "They covered tommy trojan in a tarp and tape to protect him from UCLA!!"

​UCLA and USC are taking extra-early pains, this year, to avoid attacks on their inanimate war heros back at home camp.

A full two weeks before their annual opening football game on November 26 -- a tradition known to inspire mischief and brawl in the meekest of library nerds -- both campuses are whipping out their finest shieldry.

A successful hit on Bruin Bear or Tommy Trojan, after all...

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Jamie McCourt

​Hard to believe it's really over.

But yes, finally, we have a copy of the settlement that ends the single messiest, costliest, and most spectacular divorce in sports history.

Frank and Jamie McCourt have patched up their differences. Gives you hope for the Israelis and the Palestinians.

So here -- officially -- are the terms.
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Dennis Gilbert, insurance salesman

​Now that Frank McCourt has agreed to sell the Dodgers, we can turn our attention to potential new owners for the team.

The top contender is probably Dennis J. Gilbert. He's got a great story. He's a local guy, went to Gardena High School and L.A. City College. He played minor league baseball, then became a top sports agent. He lives in Calabasas, and he has close ties to Commissioner Bud Selig. What's not to like?

Well, there is the small matter of how he made his money.
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​Frank McCourt has finally agreed to sell the Dodgers. The grassroots Save the Dodgers group is organizing a celebration outside Dodger Stadium for 6 p.m. on Wednesday.

While champagne is certainly in order, the damage that McCourt has done to the franchise won't be repaired overnight.

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He's outta here.

​Ding dong the witch is dead. Or something like that.

Frank McCourt, the most hated man in L.A. sports, has agreed to step away from the team many accused him of using as a personal piggy bank. His divorce opened up a whole can of worms (or whoop ass), and then Major League Baseball had asked a bankruptcy court to force the man from Boston to let it go.

He held on, but tonight it seems he's willing to sell. MLB's statement:

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Frank McCourt

​Update: McCourt agrees to sell. Go crazy folks!

The Times' Bill Shaikin reports this evening that Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban offered to buy the Dodgers earlier this year. But Cuban balked at owner Frank McCourt's asking price of $1 billion to $1.2 billion.

"At the right price, I'm interested," Cuban told the Times. "Not if the price is over $1 billion."

Frank McCourt has vowed to hang on to the Dodgers no matter what, and to bequeath the team to his four sons someday. And he has certainly acted that way in court, pursuing every legal avenue to cling to the franchise.

But now we know that even Frank McCourt has his price. It's just very, very high.
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Vin Scully: trending

​For a brief period during last night's World Series game, Vin Scully was trending on Twitter. It was not -- as many Twitter users feared -- because he had died.

Instead, it was because sportswriter Joe Posnanski asked his followers who should be calling the games. Scully was the overwhelming choice.

Praising Scully is a polite way of complaining about Fox announcers Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. Posnanski followed up today with a post on what he doesn't like about McCarver. But to judge from Twitter, America really hates Joe Buck.
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Frank McCourt.

​The Frank and Jamie McCourt saga that has dragged down the Dodgers and the city's enthusiasm for baseball this season might finally be over.

The Los Angeles Times and Associated Press report that the pair appear to have reached a divorce settlement that would give Frank the team and allow Jamie to walk away with $130 million. Previously Jamie had claimed ownership of half the team.

The ouster of Jamie from claims of ownership could mean ...

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