LA Weekly

We don't know that Vice President Dick Cheney wasn't shooting at feckless little quail raised in a pen and fed by humans when he "peppered," or, rather "sprayed," his lawyer friend with pellets from his 28-gauge shotgun. But we do know that he's been on a canned hunt before: In December of 2003, he and his buddies went after 500 ring-necked pheasants released at a Pennsylvania Country Club for their shooting pleasure and downed 417 of them (what happened, I wonder, to the remaining 83? How do you get over a day like that?). Cheney's score that day: 70 birds, 0 lawyers.

So I offer up this video from the Humane Society of the United States so you can experience just how challenging and sportsmanlike the practice is.

And don't cry when you watch that big ram go down with six arrows and a gunshot wound, you sissies. Just pretend he's a Texas lawyer. Evidently their kind don't go down easily.

I'd go easier on the VP if he went easier on national parks, endangered species or even Patrick Leahy. But failing to see in him a minute's worth of interest in public service in the three decades he's been playing at it, I consider him fair game. For ridicule, I mean.

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