Ball and chain bargain shopping

​Tomorrow, the calendar date 09-09-09, is when 99 Cents Only Stores will indulge in an irresistible bit of self-promotion. The company will have nine engaged couples married for the cost of 99 cents per couple at its Hollywood store. (Perhaps marriage, here, is being equated with a 99-year life sentence.) Not only that but, according to KNBC, the company "will send the couples off in a limousine, with $99.99 in cash, and take them to an undisclosed 'famous romantic Los Angeles' spot. All nine couples who get married in the store at 5270 Sunset Blvd. will get a free night's stay, including dinner, at the Hotel Angeleno in Brentwood."

But wait, there's more! Any baby born tomorrow weighing nine pounds, nine ounces will receive $999.99. Hmm, couldn't the company just wait nine months, nine days for the couples it's marrying to catch up?