The 13th Step: Researchers Find That Chocolate Can Save Your Liver

Valrhona chocolate

Your favorite 12 Step program just got a new step: chocolate. Reuters reports that Spanish researchers have found that eating chocolate after meals decreased abdominal blood pressure, which can reach dangerous levels in patients with cirrhosis of the liver. In other words, chocolate may one day actually be prescribed as a form of medication for those suffering from hepatitis or alcoholism, which are the two main ways one gets cirrhosis. This is grand news for the many people in AA who have doubted the existence of God, this being perhaps the best proof yet.

"This study shows a clear association between eating dark chocolate and (lower) portal hypertension and demonstrates the potential importance of improvements in the management of cirrhotic patients," said Mark Thursz, a professor of hepatology at London's Imperial College. The study's results, which were presented at the annual meeting of the European Association for the Study of the Liver in Vienna, add to the list of other studies which indicate that chocolate can promote heart health. These benefits, one should note, do not extend to milk or white chocolate. Which shouldn't surprise anyone, since they don't really taste like real chocolate either.

Now if only somebody can get Valrhona to subsidize the recovery industry, which food and beverage program consists of instant coffee and crappy birthday cakes. Spiritual awakening in the form of Le Noir 61% truffles. Of course.