Top 10 Wine And Band Pairings: Or, How About Some Air Supply With That $2 Chuck?

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The Vintage Cadillac Essentials

Heavy metal drinking is really the only excuse for naming a wine Sledgehammer. Either that, or you're a mega-millions corporate exec type trying to hook us on cheap inexpensive wine (see #2 when you turn the page). And so begets a Top Ten list involving Black Sabbath. And Whitney. Because how could we leave out Whitney Houston? Of course we couldn't. Turn up the volume, take another sip, and see if it all doesn't just sound a little better. Turn the page for our Top Ten Wine And Band Pairings.

10. Whitney Houston and High Note Malbec:
Cheesy wine name? Sure, but Whitney Houston really can hit those high notes. Actually, judging by that Brisbane concert earlier this year, maybe not so much anymore ("she couldn't entertain a dead rat, to be honest," said one peeved audience member). So we suggest popping this Argentinian Malbec at home, with a really good steak. Because at $13 a bottle, we'll agree with Wine Enthusiast that this wine is a bargain buy for the quality. Or at least a whole lot cheaper than concert tickets and much tastier than a dead rat. (Full disclosure: We've only smelled, not actually tasted, a dead rat.)

Gregorian Band

These Guys Look Like They Could Use Another Bottle Of Franciscan

9. Gregorian and Franciscan Estate Napa Sauvignon Blanc:
We all have those days when what we're really craving is a band that performs Gregorian chant-inspired versions of rock songs, don't we? We recommend you keep a few bottles of this bright, fruity $17 Franciscan Sauvignon Blanc on hand for this month's release of that new album, The Dark Side of the Chant as there are Depeche Mode and Madonna remakes involved.

8. Air Supply and Two Buck Chuck:
Because if after all these years, you are still drinking Two Buck Chuck, you deserve to listen to "Making Love out of Nothing at all" on repeat.

7. A Great Song By A Mediocre Band and Il Valore Sangiovese:
Exactly the opposite of Two Buck Chuck, this Sangiovese is medium bodied, acidic, food-friendly (especially with tomato meat sauce) Italian wine. Brilliant? As it's all of $3 at our local Trader Joe's right now, apparently reduced from $6, you already know the answer. This wine is more like great songs by mediocre bands (yes, there is Facebook page for that) -- handy to have around when the mood strikes.

6. Duke Ellington and Antinori Toscana Bianco:
Antinori's Trebbiano-Malvasia blend with a little Pinot Bianco and Pinot Grigio tossed into the mix is produced on a vineyard that dates to 1931, a light era-appropriate $10 bottle for Duke Ellington, who was just starting his big band upswing at the time with the release of "It Don't Mean a Thing If You Ain't Got That Swing" -- or was it swig? (Sorry).