Top 10 Aphrodisiac Foods for Valentine's Day

10. Oysters. Briny, slippery; ruffly frills that quiver when you flick your tongue across them . . . yes, oysters are an excellent source of zinc.

9. Corn dogs. Turgid, spurting, fleshy missiles prepared by nubile high school students wearing enormous phallic toques, corn dogs are packed chock-full of B vitamins.

Anne Fishbein

Arturo's puffy taco

8. Puffy tacos. Steaming, swollen-lipped constructions popularly imagined with juicy, bright-red tomatoes popping to attention from the top of their sweetening clefts, puffy tacos is garnished with lettuce, and thus (wink, wink) rich in vitamin A.

7. Bananas. Long, thick, gracefully tapered, rigid yet collapsing into sweet softness when thrust into prolonged, steamy heat, a ripe banana practically spurts (we blush) with chelating minerals.

Flickr/Xerones

fresh figs

6. Figs. Lush and sweet, pulsating with juice, splayed open to reveal their sugary crimson core - if Eve's leaf should happened to have slipped, maybe accidentally on purpose, it would have revealed the boiling primal core of her late-night vitamin C fixation.