Top 10 Aphrodisiac Foods for Valentine's Day

10. Oysters. Briny, slippery; ruffly frills that quiver when you flick your tongue across them . . . yes, oysters are an excellent source of zinc.

9. Corn dogs. Turgid, spurting, fleshy missiles prepared by nubile high school students wearing enormous phallic toques, corn dogs are packed chock-full of B vitamins.

puffytacosvd.jpg
Anne Fishbein
Arturo's puffy taco

8. Puffy tacos. Steaming, swollen-lipped constructions popularly imagined with juicy, bright-red tomatoes popping to attention from the top of their sweetening clefts, puffy tacos is garnished with lettuce, and thus (wink, wink) rich in vitamin A.

7. Bananas. Long, thick, gracefully tapered, rigid yet collapsing into sweet softness when thrust into prolonged, steamy heat, a ripe banana practically spurts (we blush) with chelating minerals.

figsvd.jpg
Flickr/Xerones
fresh figs

6. Figs. Lush and sweet, pulsating with juice, splayed open to reveal their sugary crimson core - if Eve's leaf should happened to have slipped, maybe accidentally on purpose, it would have revealed the boiling primal core of her late-night vitamin C fixation.

My Voice Nation Help
0 comments

From the Vault

 

Browse Voice Nation
  • Voice Places Los Angeles

    Voice Places

    Find everything you're looking for in your city

  • Happy Hour App

    Happy Hour App

    Find the best happy hour deals in your city

  • Daily Deals

    Daily Deals

    Get today's exclusive deals at savings of anywhere from 50-90%

  • Best Of

    Best Of...

    Check out the hottest list of places and things to do around your city