Someone Stole Paris Hilton's Birthday Cake

Paz's Facebook page

Paris Hilton's birthday cake

You may not have noticed it after all the drinks you downed from any and all of the six open bars at Paris Hilton's 30th birthday party (our invite must have gotten lost in the mail), but that cake you saw? Yeah, you didn't get a piece. In fact, the only people who did are party-crashing self-proclaimed musician "Paz," who stole the entire cake from right under Paris' private security forces' noses, and the homeless people on skid row to whom he eventually gave the cake. For more, check out Paz's Facebook page and turn this one.

According to a US Weekly special report, Paz used the help of a well-connected friend to sneak into Hilton's party and thoroughly enjoyed the open bars. When he noticed that the cake had been ignored after the candles were blown out, he and his buddy hatched a plan, hoodwinked Hilton's chief of security, and hustled the cake into their car.

The cake itself reportedly cost $3,200 to make, and featured a special batter with Hilton's favorite kind of absinthe mixed right in. According to the CEO of Viridian Spirits, makers of the absinthe that went into the batter, the cake was specially designed to match the party's Moulin Rouge theme. According to Paz, maker of long Facebook notes about his cake-stealing exploits, "It's big. It's red. It says Paris. And it's fucking delicious." Well said, and while it is a shame that it was stolen, we're glad it went to someone who appreciates it. Really, we bet nobody who was actually invited to that party has had a slice of cake this millennium, least of all the birthday girl.