Pizza & the Politics: Former Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain Announces Presidential Bid

Mann Hamilton

"Considering the current field ofRepublican presidential candidates, pizza may be as good a reason to vote asanything else."

So let's consider a few of them, or were you just talking?

1. Herman Cain. Highly successful executive and leader whohas done great things in the real world and knows how to motivate and run large,complex organizations. No elective experience -- but that can't be bad! Key issue:Can white progressives accept a tough, conservative, kick-ass black man? On thefootball field, sure, but in charge of things ...? BarackObama. Before the presidency, he was an unimportant low-levelfunctionary who did nothing that you ever heard about. His many financial,political, and management mistakes during W’s third term confirm his ineptitude,his very empty-suitness.

2. Mitt Romney. Another extremely experienced executive whoran tough companies, was a successful Republican governor of blue Massachusetts,and stepped in to rescue the massive 2002 Winter Olympics from financialdisaster. Key issue: As “progressives” whisper in the halls of quiet justice,he is, you know, like a Mormon. BarackObama. Financial disaster is the president’s middle name. In lessthan two-and-a-half years, he has brought us to the point where the governmentmust borrow and repay with interest 40 cents out of every dollar that itspends. Our public debt is now more than $14 trillion, up 40% from Bush’s finalyear -- in only two-and-a-half years! If you can imagine howbad it would be for you and your kids and their kids if we stopped borrowing(and having to repay with interest) starting today, just think about the impactof the administration’s wildly extravagant financial policies on the workingpoor and soon-to-be-dispossessed.

3. Newt Gingrich.Now radioactive with unknown half-life after blasting certain Republicans for“social engineering” -- regrettable because of the broadside style, not thelegitimate substance -- but still a force to be reckoned with. Former HouseSpeaker, novelist, historian (Ph.D. in modern European history), and all-aroundsuperior thinker and humorist, even according to Democratic colleagues. Key issue:Can Prof. Idea-a-Minute slow down long enough to let the voters catch up?Barack Obama. Ever heard his stilted, uh-uhm-uh, idea-lessspeechmaking when he doesn’t have a teleprompter running?

Here’s my final point: If you’re youngand don’t know what works (like Obama before he became W, Jr.), you may wish todisagree with Republican policies (like Obama before he became W, Jr.). Butplease don’t say the Republican candidates are so inept or unqualified that “pizzamay be as good a reason to vote as anything else.” You already have yourpizza-quality president. Complain to him about the missingextra sausage and pepperoni.

Mann Hamilton

Sorry -- I have no idea how all that extra space got in there. Here's the post again. -MH

"Considering the current field of Republican presidential candidates, pizza may be as good a reason to vote as anything else."

So let's consider a few of them, or were you just talking?

1. Herman Cain. Highly successful executive and leader who has done great things in the real world and knows how to motivate and run large, complex organizations. No elective experience -- but that can't be bad! Key issue: Can white progressives accept a tough, conservative, kick-ass black man? On the football field, sure, but in charge of things ...? Barack Obama. Before the presidency, he was an unimportant low-level functionary who did nothing that you ever heard about. His many financial, political, and management mistakes during W’s third term confirm his ineptitude, his very empty-suitness.

2. Mitt Romney. Another extremely experienced executive who ran tough companies, was a successful Republican governor of blue Massachusetts, and stepped in to rescue the massive 2002 Winter Olympics from financial disaster. Key issue: As “progressives” whisper in the halls of quiet justice, he is, you know, like a Mormon. Barack Obama. Financial disaster is the president’s middle name. In less than two-and-a-half years, he has brought us to the point where the government must borrow and repay with interest 40 cents out of every dollar that it spends. Our public debt is now more than $14 trillion, up 40% from Bush’s final year -- in only two-and-a-half years! If you can imagine how bad it would be for you and your kids and their kids if we stopped borrowing (and having to repay with interest) starting today, just think about the impact of the administration’s wildly extravagant financial policies on the working poor and soon-to-be-dispossessed.

3. Newt Gingrich. Now radioactive with unknown half-life after blasting certain Republicans for “social engineering” -- regrettable because of the broadside style, not the legitimate substance -- but still a force to be reckoned with. Former House Speaker, novelist, historian (Ph.D. in modern European history), and all-around superior thinker and humorist, even according to Democratic colleagues. Key issue: Can Prof. Idea-a-Minute slow down long enough to let the voters catch up? Barack Obama. Ever heard his stilted, uh-uhm-uh, idea-less speechmaking when he doesn’t have a teleprompter running?

Here’s my final point: If you’re young and don’t know what works (like Obama before he became W, Jr.), you may wish to disagree with Republican policies (like Obama before he became W, Jr.). But please don’t say the Republican candidates are so inept or unqualified that “pizza may be as good a reason to vote as anything else.” You already have your pizza-quality president. Complain to him about the missing extra sausage and pepperoni.