10 Handy Rules For Tipping

Think if it this way.  I was a great server/bartender/pizza delivery person over the years.  However, too much work for too little tips convinced me to leave those jobs and finish college.  Anyway, to all you self-righteous people thinking you're better than your server, consider this.  If you screw over enough good servers, they will leave.  Sooner or later, only the losers will remain to wipe your asses.

Last point.  I used to keep the receipt copies of all those who stiffed me (names and addresses).  Let me give YOU a tip; if you screw-over the wait staff don't EVER come back!  They'll remember you.  They'll tell other servers about you.  It's like the Mafia.  They'll remember you in ALL SORTS of ways. I promise. 

Lots of cheap entitled turds posting on this list, I see.  If you don't like tipping and you don't like having to pay someone who didn't bow and scrape and lick your ass like you were the King of France, because that server might be having a bad day and/or didn't manage to read your mind and live up to your exacting demands, then push to have tipped wages eliminated and tipped employees paid the same as regular employees.  Then you won't have to pay "extra" (ie: what you call the wages they are expected to live on), and tipping will be an optional incentive you can give for good service, fair and square.  Until then, not tipping someone money that is expected to be their wages (and, btw, in some ares, taxed as such even if you didn't give it to them, which makes you doubly a thief as they not only didn't get their wages but also have to pay tax on wages they didn't get) is stealing, and is arrogant entitlement.

BTW, for all the jerks who whine about "I didn't get a raise, why does waitstaff?", did you miss the part where minimum wage has been raised, over the last 6-7 years, from $5.15 an hour to $7.35 (and maybe a little more now, I can't recall)?  But the minimum wage for tipped employees hasn't really changed since the regular minimum wage was $4.15 an hour (and I'm old enough to have worked for that).  So yes, your entitled little ass did get a pay raise, and yet you still want to find excuses to stiff tipped employees, who are still working for $2.13 an hour, out of money they need to make rent if they don't kiss your ass exactly right?

As for whining about the dirty waitstaff "expecting" to be paid "just for showing up", the rest of us get that, dont' we?  You show up and even just go through the motions of your job, you get the same wage, whether it's the regular min wages of $7.35 or a nice $20.00 an hour or what have you.  You don't have to give stellar service just to eat.  I'm a cashier, but I'm allowed to have bad days, and my ability to pay my bills isn't dependent on whether I laughed convincingly enough at some insipid joke I've heard a million times already because some customer has decided he or she is funny, so why should waitstaff have to?  The rest of us aren't just paid for our work, but for the time we give to standing there doing the work.  Even if there is a slow day, I get the same paycheck for it because my time is every bit as valuable as my work, and so is yours.  How would you like it if you weren't paid for the eight hours you did your job, but on the amount of work you managed to crank out combined with your "attitude" and technique while doing it, all judged by some arbitrary and changing rule from project to project?  I'm guessing you wouldn't like that very much.  But that doesn't count when you're a server?  What you are asking for is to be given the royalty experience, being able to screw a poor person out of both their time and money and pretend to be morally superior while doing it.  It's worse than fast food (which I also worked, in HS), where people think that abusing the staff is a right included in their price, but at least you still get paid a regular wage and don't also have to smile and say "thank you, sir, may I have another" convincingly enough when they spit in your face so as to hopefully get a tip and be able to pay your bills.

Some people are so pathetic they literally NEED to have someone they can spit on and kick in the ass and make to thank them and dance for quarters--and then deny them the quarters--so they can feel like they, too, are some kind of modern corporate aristocrat and artificially fluff their meager self-esteem at someone else's expense, both psychological and financial.  It's sad how many people are so eager to justify this ignorant and entitled "minemineminemine" attitude.  Their attitudes would likley change if they were put in that position--and I dont' believe for a moment the people claiming that waitstaff don't deserve tips unless they can work miracles who also claim to have worked as waiters.  They are likely making a false claim (which is cheap to do on the internet and has no way of following up and no consequences) in order to artificially legitimize their entitled arrogance.  No one who ever lived through such a hell could be spouting off like that.

Just out of curiosity, have you ever been a waiter Jonathan?

If you can't afford a 20% tip, don't go out to eat.  The people who get so angry about tipping 20% and this topic in general know absolutely nothing about the service industry.  They have their panties in a bunch because they've been cheap their whole lives and need a way to rationalize it.  If you have a $30 budget, the answer is simple.  Spend $25 and give your waiter $5 for putting up with you self-righteous ass.  Karma hates you, and so do I.

Tip comes from "To Insure Promptness" which originally was paid up front to make sure you got above average service. Since then unfortunately, it has become a way for proprietors have customers help pay their staff and/or worse yet, has become expected by some service staff for just showing up for work. I'm old enough to remember when one rarely saw tip jars and now they are everywhere. Btw...I waited table for years and tip generously when I receive good service, but don't with indifferent service. 

Oh and if the server owns the restaurant,Then why should i tip?-They're getting paid well above minimum wage,Why should i tip them?

Not happening. Less than 10 years ago when I was in school  and waiting tables it was 10-15%. Waitstaff knows full well that they get tipped salary, and they know that the customer can withhold money if they don't do their job, so I'm not tipping 20% to some lazy 16 year old who can't even be bothered to come get my drink order after sitting there for 10 minutes. If you were getting a normal salary and didn't do your job, you'd get fired, so I'm not going to reward a bad work ethic.

Good Work. I am very happy to read this article.

F*CK YOU Jonathan,F*CK YOU!!!!

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A "normal" tip used to be 15% about 10 years ago (~2001).

Now the economy is HORRIBLE (ever since Bush destroyed this country), and everything (INCLUDING FOOD) is more expensive than ever.

But servers (UNSKILLED LABORERS) in 2011 are entitled to a 5% proportional increase in their income?

Disgusting. I worked as a waiter and a barback in college. You entitled ****s disgust me.

Um... no.  Spent eight years as a server, and this is a load.

"1. Tip 20 percent. Every time." - No.  Some service is great, involved, and adds to the meal or drink.  I reward that with a good tip.  Some service is bad, momentary, and makes the experience worse.  I punish that with a bad tip (never zero, lest they think you forgot).  Outside of the military and communism, how many people really think that you should be paid the same regardless of how hard and how well you do your job?"2. ...But it's not 1973, and you're probably not in Osaka at the moment." - So?  By your logic, will my grandchildren be expected to tip 50%, just because its not 2011 anymore?  Percentage of cost is important only when quality is consistent with that cost.  Hardly ever true.

"3. Yes, this includes the cost of the wine." - Why?  Because they opened that expensive wine better than they opened the bad one?  I mean, if they really provided improved service (esp. suggesting the beverage/food pairing) then sure, but why do I automatically need to tip differently based on whether the wine costs $30 a bottle or $300?

"4. And extends to tipping the delivery guy if you order in..." - Yes and no.  While I am paying for service, some of those costs are born by the restaurant, and the level of service does not equate with (for example) fine dining.  Tip, absolutely.  Tip 20% on delivery?  Only if they were a tux and make it there in ten minutes.

"5. And also includes tipping the bartender..." - No.  I'll tip well for a well-made mixed drink, but I'm not sliding the bartender 3 bucks for 30 seconds it took him to slap ice, vidka, and Red Bull in a glass.

"6. You've heard the rumors about..." - Wow, one I actually agree with!

"7. ...waiters do no more than shuffle food from kitchen to table" - Nope.  I am paying for actual dining or beverage service, not moving products.  I would no more tip for this than I would tip a grocery clerk, or the guy who rolls out the grill from the back of Sears. Moving product is an obligation of the owner and should be included in the bill.  Personal and quality service is what gets a tip.

"8. You are in a restaurant to pick up a to-go order" - No, the person did nothing.  When I was a waiter, I was always surprised by take-out tips, and certainly never expected them.  I should be paid special for putting food in a bag?

"9. The nice woman at the coffee place who remembers how you like the foam on your double macchiato?" - Absolutely, because THAT is quality and personal service deserving of a tip.  To be consistent with your previous points, I should also be putting a buck in the jar for the idiot who shorts me on the drink and gets it partly wrong.  Why do YOU think it should be different here?

"10. The parking attendant: Depends on how much you love your car, really."  - Ha, ha.

If you should tip 20% automatically, then the restuarant should just put it into the prices and forget about this farce of tipping for service.

I'm not giving you 20% for handing me a bottle of wine-That could be as much as your entire meal & why should you give that much 4 so little service-I reckon this guys a server who thinks he's entitled 2 a tip no matter what!-Typical waiter,thinking that he can give cruddy service & then write a crummy article in order 2 get more cash-lets go through these things on at a time shall we:1)Tipping IS optional-If tipping were required then it would just be included in the bill-Is it?-If the soup goes tumbling into my lap,not only am i not tipping you,but:I WILL be sending you the bill for the dry cleaners AND will expect a free desert or coupon-Something! Do 2 me having 2 eat the rest of my meal in wet pants2)Why should the gratuity go up as time goes by?--3)see above4)YES!YES it does--Driving is definitely a lot less tiring & hard then serving thus a smaller tip!5)20% 4 pouring me a damn drink!--AGAIN,Less hard service,less tip,KAPISH!?6)If it is insulting or if tips don't make it back 2 the server than Why should you tip!?-You want 2 insult people!-And if tips never make it back 2 the server,Why not just slip the dude a 5$ in private-instead of rewarding a place 4 stiffing its servers?7)AGAIN,4 THE 3RD! TIME:LESS SERVICE,-LESS TIP!8)So,doing 1 thing is worthy of 10%!!!--See above!9)Remembering is simply something that comes with doing something 4 awhile--I should pay you ONE,WHOLE,DOLLAR...4 REMEMBERING SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!----HA!10)the nearest dollar & add 2...hmmm...--NOPE!--2+ $ 4 Parking!--NO,THANK-YOU!--I'd rather walk!Hey,servers:Here's a "tip",...-If you want 20%...EARN IT!!!!!!!!!

#7 and #8... No tip!

I was told that T.I.P. originated as To Insure Promptness. You'd tip a waiter or bartender, so next time you patronize their establishment.. they'd remember you, and give you better service next time you came in.  I'm not going to pay 10% tax then 20% tip everywhere I'd go.. I wouldn't be able to afford to. Good tip based on good service.

you left out the hotel cleaning crew....is there a standard for that? I believe that most people don't realize that they're supposed to tip these folks as well.

I like Taiwan.... no tipping, no VAT and no BS provincial/ fed sales tax!

What I have no use for is the fast food (Dunkin Doughnuts,ETC) counters with tip jars. The fact that these cheap B---ards don't pay their help enough doesn't cause Me to believe I should subsidize their help. Raise the price a few pennies and pay your help a living wage!

I remember when the tip was almost always 10%.  I am a much older person and things were different.  I was surprised to learn that it had gone up to 15-20%.

This is not "advice" about tipping.  It is just Mr. Gold's opinion.

Tipping is not an absolute.  It has to do with value of service.  Percentages make no sense really.  You can get great service is a coffee shop and terrible service in an upscale eatery.

I don't go to many restaurants as much any more with servers. With the price of meals and drinks going up and being out of work,, fast food joints and pick-up food places are a bit cheaper. I do not even call for pizza deliveries. I have pizzas in the freezer that can be microwaved.   Jayson's Deli is a great example. I give the cashier my order and pay for the food. Get a glass for beverage, go to my seat and the food is deilivered promptly. At Panera one gets a buzzer. When it rings, I go to the serving area, pick up the food, walk back to my table & enjoy.  Often I will spend a little bit more, knowing there is no tip.

As a server I would love to tell you why tipping 20% is absolutely necessary.Servers DO get a wage, it's half of minimum wage which in Ohio equals around $3.70 an hour for servers. I work at a family restaurant, and I often leave feeling like I have not been paid for the services i have provided. At the specific restaurant I work at, I am required to tip out 3% of my SALES not my tips, to the bartenders and hosts. This is NOT an option. My sales are calculated electronically throughout the night and I turn in my tip out to a manager who disperses it to the hosts and bartenders. This means that if you leave me 10% as a tip, I am really only seeing 7% in my pocket at the end of the day, even though by law I have to claim on my taxes that I made that 10%, even though it never made it into my pocket.

For example, I have teenagers sit in my section all the time who do not leave anything as a tip. They rack up at $50 check, and leave nothing as a tip. Because my sales are up to $50, i have to claim that I made $5, because that would be 10% of the check. Because i am claiming this, that $5 plus the $3.70 hourly wage means that according to my employer i have made more than minimum wage for that hour and they put NOTHING extra in my check. The reality of that situation is that i made nothing, and i now have to tip out $1.50 (3% of a $50 check) to the hosts and bartenders. If its a slow day, i may be cut off of the serving floor. In that case i have worked for an hour, and i now owe my employer $1.50 because of that table. I not only go home empty handed, i have lost money, even though i have gone to my JOB and provided a service.I am required to claim 10% of my sales no matter what which means i stand to lose a lot if no one fees like tipping me that day. Its possible that i make $700 dollars in sales one day and therefore have to claim that i made $70 dollars when in reality, every table tipped me 10% so i made that $70 but had to tip out $21 dollars to the hosts/bartenders. So on that day i actually made $49 dollars but am required by law to tell the government that I have made $70. I can never claim that i make less than 10% no matter what.

Possibly the worst part about this is that i have more money taken out of my wage because the government believes i am making that 10% at all times, even when I am not. On one of my last paychecks, i was paid $38 for 72 hours of work in 2 weeks. That means my employer is actually paying me around 52 cents an hour, and everything else has to come from tips. If I don't get tipped well, then i don't make any money at all.

Unless your server punched you in the face or called your wife fat, you need to tip them 20%. If you thought the service was absolutely terrible because the food tasted bad and it was cold in the building, guess what? None of that is the servers fault! If they were very busy and still refilled your drink and got your order out to you correctly, they deserve 20%! If you had a problem and they resolved it, they deserve 20%! If they were absolutely terrible then give them 15%. No server can survive on 10% on every table. If they were fantastic, then tell them! And show them by giving them 20% or more!  Servers remember the people who don't tip them, so if you choose not to tip at your local favorite restaurant, do not expect to have your drink refilled the next time you visit.

Perhaps Americans < Yanks included > don't understand that the world does not end at the borders of the USA.  Look at what customs exist elsewhere... and you will see that your "system" is the proverbial sore thumb...

Check out the custom in civilized countries like Denmark and NewZealand.

And yes, there is/was Moosewood.

Ridiculous article. And what nerve.

Check the headlines. This economy stinks. Sometimes I tip 20% if I get really, exceptionally good service. Sometimes I tip less.

But based on this ludicrous article, I will be holding the line at 15% -- IF I'm pleased with the service. Otherwise it will be less.

dictionary.com defines a tip as "a small PRESENT of money given directly to someone for performing a service or menial task; gratuity: 'He gave the waiter a dollar as a tip.'

It's a present. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, especially in a bad economy when the decision is less often about how much to tip than it is about whether or not to eat in a restaurant at all.

Don't like 15%? Maybe my family and I will just stay home. Oh, one last thing, maybe that delivery driver shouldn't have chosen a gas-guzzling Suburban as his/her mode of transport.

O Cordova, I hope you aren't returning to the same restaurant after giving out a 10 % maximum tip ! If you do you have probably enjoyed many an unidentified morsel in with your fare. Mo Tea Sir ?

15 to 20% and you get the nasty stares you've been experiencing ! For the most part waiters and waitresses in places other than New York City and Hollywood, are working class folks. Out here in the hinterlands we understand this and you never leave 15% unless you received attitude instead of service, or the jerk introduces him/her self while making themselves at home at your table.      No, good service is still 30% out in the real world,20% for not so good service. That's it ! My wife and I are retired and on lowly fixed income , but we can't be stingy with our co-working class allies bringing us our food. If you can't afford a decent tip you shouldn't go out that evening. Shame on 15% tippers. Why do you begrudge a working person a decent income ? 

The Moosewood Restaurant in Ithaca NY used to do like the Europeans did (and maybe still do, I don't know): add a service charge.  I wish the price charged would include the cost of service.  Yes, I know, prices would be clearly higher, but when we add the 20% tip, well, we're paying the higher price anyway.  Adding a service charge and paying the waitress fairly would ensure that no waitress would be stiffed.  (And I wish Moosewood would go back to the old way of including a service charge.)

The origin of tipping comes from the greediness and individualism of the food and service industries. They want to have qualified and professional staff but they don’t want to pay for what they expect. They don’t want to increase their hourly wages because they don’t want to pay additional taxes and charges, they prefer using the wallet of their customers to do the financial complement. Each time I have to tip someone I do it more as a social gesture, knowing that the waiter is making almost nothing per hour, than as a reward for good service, which you will get only in places where the staff has been fully trained in professional schools. There is no law that makes tipping mandatory, and you cannot enforce “gratuity”. Tipping is based on the quality of the service provided. Work hard =  Get more !!

These comments are reminding me how glad I am to not work as a waitress anymore. Did it for approximately 12 months during college. Have enough stories of rude customers to last a lifetime. It a job that wears on you. No one, from the customers to the managers, has respect for the staff.  So it's hard to try to act like you give a sh*t about every single table to you wait on.

Pointless and wrong article. If a tip is not based on service, then it is a meaningless fiction that we should get rid of altogether. That said, I almost always tip 22-27%.

Couple things:

First - I think this article will have the opposite effectof what was "intended".  I emphasize intended, because I don’tbelieve the writer actually believes his own words, just spouting rhetoric he’sseen elsewhere on the web (which has been bantered back and forth foryears).  People are fairly set in theirways as far as tipping goes, and this article isn't likely to sway that in anyway.  Which leads me to my next point...

Second - I believe he wrote the article to cause controversy, to increasereadership.  It’s an enflamed topic thatmany people feel passionate about.  What’sdisappointing is the fact that he put next to no effort into the article, hejust repeats the same brainless banter over-and-over.   I’mguilty of responding to this article, just like the next guy, but you’d do theworld a favor by not responding to make this guy go away!

Your decayed and degraded idea of noblesse oblige is showing.

Let's analyze this article... so, the author lists a series of situations, detailing in each case the possibly relevant factors that could weigh into one's decision to tip and to what amount.

And his answer is... to completely ignore any and all relevant factors and flippantly parrot the slogan "20 percent" as a solution to everything. Where did this figure come from? No indication. Why should this approach be better than any other? No justification.

I'm afraid that I don't find this "20 percent" slogan convincing in the least. Looks like the author is too lazy to write a real article; it would require things like a reasonable indication of cause-and-effect and perhaps some explanation along the way, rather than some cocky posturing.

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actually, the price of food has increased faster than inflation. assuming restaurants base their food prices on food costs, 15% today is worth more now than ten years ago.

I'm a dunk tank clown, and I know that I don't get tipped each time I fall into that water. Yet I'm supposed to just sit there and smile while all of this happens to me. (It helps that the smile is literally painted on my face.) Most people think I should be happy every time I'm dunked, because of the hot weather we're facing in this country. Of course, if I did get tips, then I'd probably be expected to give 10% to the kid who collects the softballs for people to throw. It's hard out here for a clown.

Just obnoxious. I am Mr. Gold's biggest fan, but as a guy who married to the boss and pays for his meals with an expense account he's in no position to wag his finger at those of us who are wrestling with the jobless recovery and might be less inclined to blanket generosity. If he's really inclined to talk about ethics in the world of food, why never a single word about the many atrocities being committed by Food Inc.?

At the gas station, you pump your own gas..afterwards you pop into the gas station's mini mart, pour your own coffee, make and dress your own hot dog, you have to ask for a key to use the rest room.

You arrive at the cash register and there is a tip jar...WTF??

nice article for tips is how most in the food service are able to pay their bills not to mention if they go out of the way to do the job and show the customer how important their business is they should get something for the work they are doing. twenty percent sounds at least fair

I have just ONE simple handy rule for tipping: Keep an eye on the waiter or waitress and check how they threat you, how they take care of you and if they're willing to go the extra mile for you!!!!! I don't care if is osaka or china, last century or this one; tips are optional and depend 100% on great customer service.

A required 20% tip is un-American.

The entire premise of a customer determined tip is a very American concept that captures our spirit of hard work / reward, and freedom to decide. Most countries don't expect gratuity. In Europe the service charge is automatically added to the bill, often resulting in indifferent service. So either we're here in the USA and follow our own rules, or we accept this edict from JGold. Seeing the posts here, most of us agree not to.

I get it that wait staff work hard, are often underpaid, and depend heavily on tips. That will be on my mind as I factor in the service level. That said, I refuse to follow this arbitrary 20% rule. If it truly needs to be iron-clad, then restaurants (and/or the government) can implement it. Some do, such as Sugarfish in DTLA which has a mandatory 18% regardless of party size. It's stated on their menu and people know what they're getting into before they sit down.

McDonald's has a dollar menu.  If you can't afford to tip your server then you shouldn't eat out.  You go in knowing what the average price is of your dinner before you even order.  If you don't have the money then go to a drive thru.

servers receive a zero paycheck each week...many servers bust their butts to provide great service to the public...it behooves us as servers to wow our customers/guests because in the end, they are helping to pay our bills...20% is typical and greatly appreciated when received on the average check, those who are living in this country from other countries need to learn the tipping procedures of THIS country, not the foreign nation from which you have traveled from. If I were visiting or living in another country I would verse myself in their tipping practices. Ten percent is unacceptable unless the server really stunk at their job, then they deserved it. $10 on a hundred dollar check just sucks...learn to tip and if you can't afford to leave a tip the server deserves, go order from the freakin dollar menu and keep your lousy $2 tip.

I made this same reply to this post when it was reposted on Yelp.

The notion that the standard tip has elevated to 20% is inaccurate.  Some things our parents taught us have not changed.  15% is still the base tip and rules of etiquette allow for adjusting this up or down.  However, when adjusting down, the total should not be adjusted below 10%.  Also, it should only be lowered for specific negative points in the service (ie the server was  rude).

Other points that were inaccurate based on rules of etiquette are:1.  Tipping at non full service restaurants (ie you place order and pay before seating).  Tipping is not expected at the same percentage rate.  You can lower the scale from 10% to 20+% to 5% to 15+%.2.  Tipping on meal delivery.  This is not percentage based.3.  Tipping at coffee shops (Starbucks, etc).  This is not required by rules of etiquette.  It is purely by choice.  The employees are not automatically taxed based on tipping and their salaries are not determined based on receiving significant tips.)

Wow, this whole discussion is sad because the author clearly has no interest in making a reasoned argument and engaging in intelligent discussion. I think no matter what anyone feels about this issue, everyone can agree that Jonathan Gold failed to support his opinion adequately originally and continues to do so with his snarky responses to the comments. There have been several logical arguments made but he ignores them, I can only assume he does so because there is no logic to his own reasoning. Extremely disappointing when someone is given a platform to reach people and has no respect for it.