The Mark of a Great Waiter: Emotional Intelligence

By Besha Rodell Thu., Jun. 7 2012 at 3:18 PM

There are many things that go into waiting tables. Juggling a zillion things at once, both literally and figuratively; maintaining your sanity while acting as the go-between for petulant children (customers) and an angry parent (chefs); appearing to be pleasant when you've just been stiffed for something entirely not your fault. But there's one quality that I believe helps more than any other: Emotional intelligence. That is, the ability to gauge a table, and react accordingly.

Reader Patrick Tatten recently sent me an email that put it another way:

I, too, work in a restaurant, and when I dine out, I am always on the lookout for one thing in particular; service staff intuition.
What I mean is this: You walk into a Cheescake Factory/Applebees/TGI Fridays, etc., leaf through their enormous bible of a menu and, dizzy, close it. The server comes over and you ask him/her for recommendations based on some of your generalized personal tastes. Often, the server will recite a rehearsed spiel (as they have been trained to do) and wait blankly for you to make a decision.

Or, you can walk into a hole-in-the-wall sausage kitchen downtown, which you only stumble upon once in a blue moon, and be greeted by a portly Silver Lake hipster with a beard whose only passion is how spicy he can make your sausage and the beer to which it should be paired based on your personality. This guy will have a much better day having ascertained your desires and created a unique experience just for you. His passion is figuring you out, and taking control, leading you down the path of culinary happiness. He truly cares.

I would like to read a review where the column gives me a flavor of enthusiasm, warmth and, most of all, intuition on the part of the staff. I want to walk into a place and feel like I'm among friends, like I'm at home.

Some places really get it.

But, it's a real drag to take a first date to the ones that don't.

Amen!!

Thanks Patrick. If you have a strong opinion, or something you'd like to see discussed on the blog, please email me: brodell@laweekly.com.

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Tags:

Besha Rodell, reader letters, Service, waiters, waiting tables

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So I guess you're saying someone who, for any number of reasons, is reciting specials at Applebee's is always somehow less invested in your meal? Or that Mr. Fat Hipster is always 100% dedicated to your epigastric orgasm? Bullshit. There was nothing actually discussed in this "column" regarding emotional intelligence, as claimed in the headline. Just a piss-n-moan that is classist and geographically insular at its base. The message is, "No employee at any of those chains knows enough about the menu or cares enough to tell you about it anyway. You can only get caring and knowledgeable service at 'holes-in-the-wall' in gentrifying neighborhoods with staff hired because they speak your languages--Whole Foods Esperanto and entertainment-industry paycheck." I wonder if maybe the wait staff who "lack warmth and intuition" at your downscale joints maybe are offering you their warmth and intuition, but you have immediately rejected it as either non-existent or not good enough. We "lesser people" can sniff out snobbery better than you can sniff out table wine, and that's a fact.