How Drunk Would You Be If You Actually Followed the Presidential Debate Drinking Game?

By Garrett Snyder Fri., Oct. 5 2012 at 11:45 AM

Did you play the presidential drinking game on Wednesday night? Well, even if you think you did, you probably didn't -- mainly because if you're reading this then chances are you're still alive and not the victim of massive, massive case of alcohol poisoning.

I mean, we get it, no one really plays the drinking game -- it's just an socially acceptable excuse for having a open beer and shot glass in front of you during one of the nation's most important political events. But doesn't part of you wonder how much a person would have to drink if they strictly followed the rules?

We took the rules from a drinking game that was on the front page of Buzzfeed, and tabulated up the totals:

If a candidate mentions the "middle class," 1 drink
8 mentions

If a candidate mentions "small businesses," 1 drink
22 mentions

If a candidate mentions "jobs," 1 drink
34 mentions

If a candidate mentions "Obamacare," 1 drink
20 mentions

If a candidate mentions "Medicare/Medicaid," 1 drink
64 mentions

If a candidate mentions "taxes," 1 drink
39 mentions

If a candidate interrupts the moderator, 2 drinks
30 interruptions (conservative estimate)

If a candidate calls the moderator "Jim," 2 drinks
15 "Jims"

Even without factoring in instances of "Mitt looking awkward," "Obama smirking," "candidates writing something down," or those rare game boards that had you chugging an entire beer whenever someone mentioned Big Bird or Donald Trump, we're still at 277 drinks (just under three century clubs!).

If you estimate that a single drink amounts to, say, one ounce of beer, that results in over 23.08 12-ounce beers, which consumed over the course of the just-under-2-hour debate, would yield a B.A.C. of .397% in a 200-pound male.

This, of course, is almost ten times over the legal limit for operating a motor vehicle, though not necessarily over the limit required for a lively political discussion or running for national office. In all seriousness though, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney nearly tried to kill you the other night, or at least give you a one-way ticket to the Promises Treatment Center in Malibu.

So was the first debate merely an ultra-repetitive collection of overused buzzwords and overstated campaign slogans, or did the candidates simply want to get you really, really drunk? You be the judge.

Stay tuned for the Vice Presidential debates next Thursday, Oct. 11 -- Joe Biden is never one to disappoint when drinking game are involved. The next Presidential debates are Oct. 16 and Oct. 22.