Top 5 Lists

The Top 5 Things Restaurants Should Never Serve Again

By Besha Rodell Wed., Oct. 17 2012 at 6:00 AM
Categories: Top 5 Lists
Continued from page 1

2. Lobster (or anything) in the mac-n-cheese

Here's one of those examples where something is completely ruined by someone trying to make it fancy. Mac-n-cheese is good because it's simple, slutty food that doesn't need stupid ingredients like lobster thrown in to make it better. In fact, lobster ruins mac-n-cheese completely. But I'll go farther than that and say that I don't want anything in my mac-n-cheese except, you know, pasta and cheesy gloop. I'll accept breadcrumbs on top, but that's as far as it goes. Peas? Nope. Bacon crumbles, or ham do NOT make mac-n-cheese better, they are just salty distractions. Truffle oil? Don't even get me started. Which brings us to...

truffle-oil.jpg
Amazon.com
Truffle oil

1. Truffle oil on anything

A colleague and I were discussing this list, and she suggested that every entry, 1-5, should be "truffle oil." To truffle oil-haters, there is no worse ingredient, and no easier way to ruin a perfectly good french fry, soup, or dish of mac-n-cheese. It has an acrid flavor that tastes like a synthetic, ramped-up version of the real thing and also kind of like someone poured mushroomy chemical all over your food. It's a cop-out of the highest order as well: a way to make food seem sexy without actually doing anything to that food to make it taste better. It's the fake boobs of food. It's a crutch, and a hard addiction to kick, I'm sure. But the sooner we give it up, the sooner we can move away from trying to artificially enhance our food and back towards the good ole days when we didn't need fake fungus to make us feel fancy.

Harrumph.

See also: Top 5 Weirdest Halloween Candies
See also: Top 5 Worst Thanksgiving Side Dishes
See also: Top 5 Cookbook Trends We Wish Would End

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Tags:

bad food, Besha Rodell, truffle oil, worst food
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154 comments
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zen_realized
zen_realized

Tell everyone to stop putting celery in chicken salad and tuna fish also!  

chef_bfi
chef_bfi

mac and cheese is good either way, I for one love bacon (or lobster) in my KD. There is always a grey area. Only the Sith deal in absolutes!

chef_bfi
chef_bfi

truffles are often over used, or not used properly, no one flavour should be in your face as much as truffles tend to be. yes they musty flavoured, but they definetly have their place:)

FattyFatBastard
FattyFatBastard topcommenter

Agree times 10 on the truffle oil.  Damn stuff tastes like a fart.  I slightly disagree with the lobster mac.   There are both good and bad variations, but when done well, it is a good addition.  I'd like to add beans in chili to the list, as well.

ftk023
ftk023 like.author.displayName 1 Like

You got it all wrong, yes they are old time favorites and probably over used ingredients, but it doesn't mean that they don't taste good. Just because you haven't acquired a good taste, doesn't mean no one else has.

ninatreemonkey
ninatreemonkey

@Bourdain @LAWeeklyFood I keep a bottle of truffle oil in the kitchen as a test to see if new people try to use it. Its been a good judge

ninatreemonkey
ninatreemonkey

@Bourdain @LAWeeklyFood I keep a bottle of truffle oil in the kitchen as a test to see if new people try to use it.

ndrewmarin
ndrewmarin

@LAWeeklyFood #2 and #1 combined at this restaurant I will leave unnamed. The horror. cc: @JustinDevillier http://t.co/C2rON0A8

JustinDevillier
JustinDevillier

@ndrewmarin haha I guess they didn't get the memo.

ndrewmarin
ndrewmarin

@JustinDevillier Haha, I don't think there's any way to share the memo with them without being rude.

AntiquaTours
AntiquaTours

@lucylean @LAWeeklyFood uhh! I hate truffle oil. Total heartburn.

nik_boyle
nik_boyle

@lucylean @laweeklyfood hate the stuff has no resemblance to real truffle

BloodyGoodChap
BloodyGoodChap

@lucylean @laweeklyfood seed mix in salads (gritty nastiness), goats cheese tarts (harrowing chalkiness), this list could go on forever! :-)

penny_averill
penny_averill

@Bourdain @LAWeeklyFood can we ad market fresh vegetables to this please? penny_averill@pennyaverill

KamaBistro
KamaBistro

@Bourdain I think the bigger sin is wrapping up crap in exotic sounding technical names. Its a tricks to make crap sound good

BillyD3035
BillyD3035

@Bourdain @laweeklyfood exactly!!

josetth
josetth

@Bourdain @LAWeeklyFood agree. Great dishes for the American home repertoire but not cloaked as "innovative" in any commercial setting.

chefchronicle
chefchronicle

@Bourdain truffle oil? Common a little truffle oil is nice on a mushroom risotto!

_stuii
_stuii

@Bourdain doesn't Les Halles serve fries in truffle oil? #pickituptonez

gallyswife
gallyswife

@Bourdain Brilliant!! @chefsymon the raspberry vinaigrette made me think of you!

kenlim01
kenlim01

@Bourdain @LAWeeklyFood Amen!

jfparr3
jfparr3 like.author.displayName 1 Like

The only thing that belongs in the mashed potatoes is my dick.

isaac.anthony
isaac.anthony

Eat at Homeroom in Oakland and tell me you don't like their mac-n-cheese.  Then I can ignore you because you have no taste in good food.

ACTORStheband
ACTORStheband

@Bourdain @laweeklyfood I'd add Pizzas made with BBQ or Alfredo sauce in lieu of Tomato. Fucking offensive!

johnryanfinnie
johnryanfinnie

@Bourdain @LAWeeklyFood Mashed Potatoes need acid. Fact. That's why I always add a little mustard. Is that wrong?

dylanswain
dylanswain like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

It's  not that these things are bad in and of themselves, it's that these things are mimicked badly. Any "food trend" tends towards the worst, until what was once a chef's mighty inspiration has become an Applebee's loss leader.

Jamestrees
Jamestrees

@Bourdain @LAWeeklyFood ha! Well don't head over to gordos fat cow! You can smell that failure from 100 yards out.

This comment has been deleted

edtrem
edtrem

@Bourdain @LAWeeklyFood Raspberry vinaigrette is especially hideous on greens (gag reflex kicking in now)

weedywet
weedywet

@Bourdain @laweeklyfood not even bourbon sweet potatoes? Heathens!

mmontano7
mmontano7

I stopped reading this the moment I saw the writer shi@ting on bacon/ham in mac and cheese... Foolish... bland tastes much?

jstarret
jstarret like.author.displayName 1 Like

If you don't understand how to make any of the things you mentioned taste good, or that they can be made beautiful and sublime, you shouldn't be writing about food.

Foodie
Foodie

I enjoy everything on that list - except for lobster in mac and cheese. Raspberry vinegrette, yum (though I will admit it's always with arugala, goats cheese, pecans....). Wasabi mashed potatos, though not my fav, not gross either. And Truffle Oil? Sheer bliss! Where can I go to find them on french fries? That sounds too good! 

naugahydemonkey
naugahydemonkey

@Bourdain @laweeklyfood down with beaver anal juice (raspberry) vinaigrette

greg539
greg539

Besha, I have said it before, you and I were separated at birth! I have been complaining about every item on your list with emphasis on # 1 and 2,  And the fact that you called mac and cheese slutty food is confirms it! Thanks for your always refreshing take on things in restaurant world! 

ldhorowitz
ldhorowitz

Yay Besha! Happy to have played a small part in generating this list -- stop mucking with my mac 'n' cheese!

ackrob75
ackrob75

@Bourdain @laweeklyfood Now for the fun of finding a menu with all 5 on it

BrettDogAcres
BrettDogAcres

Of course, this article is strictly opinion, as are all the comments.  Somewhere, right now, someone is putting lobster in mac and cheese.  And it will be tasty.  As will the raspberry lover's salad topped with that dressing they just whipped up.

karimamasaywhat
karimamasaywhat

@Bourdain @laweeklyfood In Agreement re: truffle oil, et al. And,

Martin Silva
Martin Silva

And truffle oil is the most horrid poop ever.

SierraKiloBravo
SierraKiloBravo

@Bourdain Damn. I like lobster mac, Tony. Can I get a pass on that?

Martin Silva
Martin Silva

J.o Skinner. I hope you did the right thing and pushed it off the table on to the floor where that filth belongs. lol That's not whimsical or creative. It's just cruel.

mtdunn
mtdunn

@Bourdain @laweeklyfood Leisure suit Larry ate this spread last night

the99centchef
the99centchef

Whew, I haven't made these food faux pas....yet ;-p

youngetal
youngetal

Just have to say, the Lobster Mac N Cheese at Fish in NYC is over the top and to die for (a phrase I don't think I have every typed before, much less said). It is worth a trip to NYC just to eat some of that glorious stuff. But overall, you're spot-on.

 

billhaas66
billhaas66

@Bourdain @laweeklyfood idk wholeys seafood in pittsburgh has a pretty solid lobster mac n cheese with vt white cheddar

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