McDonald's Chicken "Mighty Wings": Animals Have Bones!
McDonald's has finally overcome its 50-year resistance to the notion of animals having bones. And the results are kind of awesome.
Malcolm Bedell McDonald's "Mighty Wings"
The company has spent nearly half a century working as hard as it possibly could to separate "eating" from "animals" in the mind of the public. Starting in the late 1970s, when Ray Croc was perfecting his system of peak food service efficiency through the use of a near-limitless pool of disposable, unskilled teenaged labor, the chicken McNugget was born.
It was a celebration of modern food processing, a space-aged flash-frozen chunk of mechanically-separated (a phrase that has always conjured up mental images of semi-sentient robots with Battlestar Galactica-style glowing red Cylon eyes tearing live chickens limb from limb) mashed-up chicken parts that, when all went according to plan, almost never contained any bone fragments. Freed from the shackles of having to navigate their exhausted lips around challenging chicken bones, customers could inhale McNuggets a dozen at a time, preferably with a side of honey mustard.
McDonald's softened their "bones don't exist" position slightly with the introduction of the McRib in the 1980s, a ground pork puck stamped into the shape of a half-rack of baby backs. In what can only be perceived as the ultimate gesture of dominance over the humble pig (or more likely, the disassembled parts of hundreds of different pigs, all ground together), the restaurant even stamped a relief of bone-shapes on top. The overall effect managed to at least suggest bones, while still removing the "rib" from the experience of "eating ribs."
Now, in 2013, after a successful test run of the unfortunately-named "Mighty Wings" in Atlanta in 2012, McDonald's is finally ready to concede the impossible: that animals can have bones, still be delicious, and still be eaten with one hand while driving your car at dangerous speeds. Available in three, five, and ten-piece versions, the wings weigh in at just shy of 100 calories a piece, which when ordered as a meal with fries and a soda, can rack up some staggering calorie counts. We'll let the McDonald's press release take it from here: