Malcolm Bedell/From Away

Cheeseburgers ranked No. 20 on the Tufts list, with 1,108 calories

On Tuesday we reported on two university studies that found that restaurant meals are really, really fattening. One meal, on average -- whether breakfast, lunch or dinner -- contains more than half the FDA's recommended daily calories for a healthy adult, as well as whopping amounts of salt and saturated fat.

Now the Weather Channel -- yes, the Weather Channel! -- has broken down exactly which meals contain the most calories, according to Tufts and University of Toronto researchers. The results may not surprise you! (And Tropical Storm Alvin could become a hurricane, just FYI.)

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Kraft

Capri Sun comes in 14 flavors, not including Moldy

What's grosser than gross? When you open your Capri Sun and find five types of fungus in it!

A recent examination of the unexpected contents of the popular kids drink was spawned by reports of consumers finding mold -- we're talking mats of fungus consisting of millions of cells -- in the beverage, Yahoo News reports.

While absolutely disgusting, the fungi probably aren't harmful to most people, said study researcher Kathleen Dannelly, associate professor of microbiology at Indiana State University.

"Probably, those of us with healthy immune systems, we could even eat that, and that wouldn't be a problem," Dannelly said, referring to the fungal mats.

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Wikimedia Commons

insect food stall: or, a much better use for edible insects

We know that male, uh, issues are a tough topic. And over the centuries, men have turned to some pretty bizarre remedies. But for those of you who have resorted to pricey capsules containing black ants, well you're going to have to stop that right now, because they are being recalled.

Black ant is apparently no Spanish fly. Rather than containing a miracle insect cure, the black ant capsules allegedly have been doctored with sildenafil, a drug used to treat erectile dysfunction, according to testing by the Food and Drug Administration. The manufacturer, American Lifestyle, is voluntarily recalling the capsules, which go for $19 for a box of four. (You guys realize that Viagra is covered by most prescription drug plans, right?) The product is distributed worldwide by online sales and retail and is promoted as increasing desire and sexual performance. (The company is also recalling its Vicerex capsules, which contain undeclared tadalafil, another ED drug.)

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Anne Fishbein

Son of a Gun

It's rare, but sometimes the planets align and your chakras are glowing (or whatever), and your boss steps out of her office and asks you where you'd like to go eat for lunch. Maybe she really screwed something up and she knows it, so she'd like to make it up to you with a mea culpa and an appetizer. Maybe your boss just got the new corporate card and it's time to give the ol' expense account a whirl. Whatever the reason, you'll need to have a plan. In case of lunchtime emergency, break glass and use this list of the top five places to have your boss take you for lunch.

Yes, these business-casual lunches can sometimes be excruciating -- oh, really Mrs. Wilson, you're not sure you'll be able to afford to refinish the deck on your SECOND house? Why yes, I think I will have another martini -- but you can do yourself a great service by knowing which place you'd like to chow down at. That way, your boss can relive their youth by prodding you for debaucherous weekend details while you scarf down food and drink to your belly's content, all without picking up the tab. Bonus points for looking like a self-starter by suggesting the restaurant yourself.

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Flickr/Bill Woods

blood. orange.

Pig ears, tails, feet. Tripe, sweetbreads, tongue. Cod sperm, salmon roe, yellowtail collar. (One could go on.) Foodist culture embraces it all. But the life force keeping everything else healthy and tasty and succulent still makes most eaters squeamish: blood.

Rich in proteins and lipids, blood can be found in some form or another in basically every regional genre of food -- except American, or at least the so-called traditional stuff. The Masai in Africa drink it straight from the cow. Europeans thicken it into sausage. Thai and Korean cooks ladle it into soup broth. It's like the perfect paleo-diet food, Crossfitters!

Time to get over it. Impress your friends! Live forever! Here are the best places to go in L.A. vhen you vant to suck some blood.

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Clarissa Wei

XLB at Din Tai Fung

And here now is a video of Tom Cruise making soup dumplings, in exactly the same way you'd imagine Tom Cruise would make soup dumplings: With determination. Cruise was in Taiwan earlier this month to promote his latest film, Oblivion, and stopped by Din Tai Fung's Taipei 101 branch to learn how to make the restaurant's famed xiaolongbao.

The visit wasn't as strange as, say, Dennis Rodman going to North Korea, but it nonetheless was still wonderfully awkward: Cruise carefully greets the restaurant's staff in Chinese (does he have them at hello? Hard to tell), waves to the crowd a few times and then gets to work. He concentrates, really intensely concentrates, as he's taught how to pinch and fold the dough. It takes him but a minute to nail all the folds in the classic Din Tai Fung dumpling, and he goes on to complete an entire steam basket's worth of XLB. Then he bursts into laughter, because he is Tom Cruise. Turn the page for the video.

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flickr/attaboy

Egg explosion in a microwave oven

It might be hard to recall a time when microwaving wasn't considered a casual cooking tool -- or, for some, a legitimate cooking method. The speed at which you can defrost things, melt chocolate or make popcorn is unparalleled. These days, you might even get a microwave oven before you get a stovetop. And just imagine trying to heat up your lunch at work without one. (A lighter? A heating pad? Right.)

It shouldn't come as any surprise that there are health worries. (See: the dangers of cell phones, transformers, etc.) Recently The Wall Street Journal reiterated the concern that we might just be sacrificing our health for all that convenience.

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Trois Mec

The above (awfully cute) photo is pretty self-explanatory, right? For the uninitiated, Trois Mec is the new culinary experiment brought to you by Ludovic Lefebvre and the Animal guys, also known in real life as Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo.

That's the Who. Where: a kind of reassuringly crappy strip mall diagonally across the street from Mozza and down the street from Street (to orient you, food-wise); no sign other than the defunct Raffallo's Pizza; no valet; opaque windows; locked door till they want you in there. When: began last week, ongoing. Why: maybe ask the chef (Ludo), who will be chatting you up, if you're agreeable and he's in a good mood, as he and his stellar crew serve you very beautiful dishes (on very beautiful actual dishes, some from local ceramicists, some from Ludo's French grandmother, or so he says), which brings us to the ...

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Trois Mec

If you were one of the many foodists in this town who set your alarm, made coffee and fired up the laptop in time to score tickets (or try to) for Trois Mec's first round of reservations, congratulations! Or not. We're told that tickets sold out in about two hours -- although since people could "lock" tables for 15 minutes at a time, they were fully locked after only 30 minutes. Were there glitches in the ticketing system? Of course there were. Just consider how much more fun it is to deal with this than it was to deal with the IRS.

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Enjoy Copenhagen

So there you are in Belarus, supping on beet soup and rye bread, getting all stinky on kvas. The bill comes and you reach for your wallet. To tip or not to tip, you wonder. You try to remember the advice dispensed in your uncreased copy of Lonely Planet: Belarus, but the details are pretty fuzzy at this point in the night. If you have a fancy phone however, a quick tutorial on Belarusian tipping etiquette is a few pecks away.

The brainchild of Harry Peters, one of the minds behind the site What The F*** Should I Make For Dinner?, How Much Should I F***ing Tip? allows the curious Internet surfer to learn all about tipping customs in different places. Results include suggestions for tipping taxi drivers, waiters, hotel porters and housekeepers, as well as handy notes for enrichment and amusement.

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