My dad, fully aware that I have been traumatized since turning 30 last November, sent me these words of wisdom today. They reminded me just how fortunate I am to have been born in the pre-information technology era, back when cellphones were just a brick-like twinkle in some nerd's eye.
You see, I was birthed in purer days, back when mothers smoked through their third trimester and children drank straight from the garden hose. According to my dad - a big fan of covering baby cribs in bright lead paint - those are the things (as well as heavy and unnecessary ecstasy consumption in the 1990s) that have made Gen Xers what we are today!
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitch-hiking .
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cakes, white bread and real butter and drank pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem .
We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents .
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Football teams had trials and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
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Thank god for Andre Leon Talley. After enduring E!s super-geeky/freaky coverage of the Oscars red carpet last night, we switched over to ABC's own, and the Vogue columnist was definitely a breath of fresh air, talking fashion and film in a fabulous way that only a flamboyant gay man can.
Our only criticism. It looks like Talley was actually with Jennifer Hudson when she and Oscar de La Renta came up with that hideous Paliament/Funkadelic gold bolero jacket. Leon, ya had to know that thing wasn't chic, it was cheap.

Anyway, here's my picks for Best and Worst Dressed. I think the mainstream media actually kinda all agree this year, which probably means we're all being brainwashed by fashion magazines. Oh well, until another Cher comes around...
Best
Reese Witherspoon- Sexy mama!
Nicole Kidman- Like a big, gorgeous kitty cat.
Penelope Cruz- Princess and the P.
Helen Mirren- A royal babe.
Celene Dion- Made us green with envy.
Jennifer Lopez- Pretty, pregnant-looking, but pretty.

Worst
Meryl Streep- The devil should have worn Gucci!
Beyonce- Her mom's taste has rubbed off... too much.
Jennifer Hudson- Gichee Gichee ya ya da da...
Kirsten Dunst- Boooring!
Anne Hathaway- Doilees are not sexy.
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Come celebrate the happy, all-too-brief life of Arthur Magazine with
free giveaways and a reading featuring Molly Frances, Oliver Hall, and
Peter Relic.
Thursday, March 1, 7:30pm
Family Bookstore, 436 N. Fairfax Avenue (across the street from
Canter's Deli), Los Angeles, 90036.
They say dressing in black is not a
requirement!
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Red carpet watching was a little boring this year. I flipped back and forth between Joan and Melissa's coverage on the TV Guide channel and NBC's coverage. There were so many gorgeous dresses it made dishing difficult. The trend seemed to be dark jewel colors, favorites include Reese Witherspoon in a deep amthyest number, Isla Fisher in emerald green, and Helen Mirren who looked so good we said a toast to her boobs. Other trends included dresses with built in bling, like J.Lo's, Beyonce's and Rachel Weisz's gowns. And a nod to the 90s, a few acctress were wearing dark red Vamp -esque lipstick. But since it's more fun to talk about the misses than the hits, here you go...

J.Lo: She's a little behind on the whole goddess thing, but the Marchesa gown is really beautiful. What's the miss? Her husband. He looks ill and what was up with all that blinking. And is he thinner? I worry he has manorexia or maybe J.Lo drinks his blood on full moons.

Jessica Biel. She leveled the beauty field with this one, we should thank her. Pink and black? Hasn't she heard the 80s are dead. Her hair looks like it endured a bad Rite Aid dye job.

Jennifer Hudson: Patti LaBelle called she wants her jacket back.

I guess when you've won as many awards as Meryl Streep you can wear whatever the hell you want. Yeah, it's Prada, but...ugh. She looks less like the devil and more like Mrs. Doubtfire. What's that necklace? A prop from the Mummy II. Is it the key to her ageless beauty or to ward off J.Lo?

Kate Winslet let her daughter pick out the color of her dress. It kind of, er, paled in comparison to other stunning dresses we saw.

Gwenyth wins Most Improved hands-down. She looked very classic 40s Veronica Lake. Well done. And not one nasty comment about her breasts! yeah!

Cameron! Oh no! Come on lady, you gotta do a lot better than that! Is that a napkin? Your sateen bedsheets? When your ex is schtuping Scarlet Johanson, you gotta pull out the big guns, not the tablecloth.

Faye Dunaway looks like an Olsen twin. Mary-Kate? Ashley? Faye? I can't tell 'em apart.
We couldn't find any pics of Sally Kirkland who haunted the red carpet with a dress designed by a 20 year old rabbi. Randolph Duke called her "crazy" insisting "she's lost her mind." Melissa's side kick, Greg Proops, added that it was "The United Colors of Sally Kirkland" and called the getup a "malestrom."
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For once the ceremony itself outshone the brew-ha-ha outside. Ellen, who got our vote for the best host yet, did a bang-up job bringing a sense of earnestness to an awards show that sometimes takes itself too seriously. It was also the show of inspiring speeches, and seemed to highlight a growing respect for the craft of screenwriting.
Best Ellen Moment: when she just happened to have a script on her and handed it to Scorsese
Best Speech: Forrest Whitaker, followed by Morricone, Scorsese, Melissa Etheridge, then Helen Mirren. (I'd give a small shout out to Jennifer Hudson, who thanked her grandmother, since that always makes me cry, if I wasn't so pissed off about her winning. Really? A better performance than Cate Blanchet?)
Most curious moment: Did the screenwriter for The Departed really say, "Wow, Valium really works," then slurr his way through his acceptance speech?
Gore punked us with his bit hinting that he was announcing his bid to run for president. He nailed it. I was convinced he was going to do it. Well, he finally won something, his film An Inconvenient Truth won Best Documentary Feature. And if you have not seen this film, please go rent it asap.
It may have been the best Oscars yet, understated, and intelligent, unlike the Broadway over-the-top ceremonies of the past. Our group had a blast watching, thanks in part to Ellen, and in part to the Oscar-related drinking game the boys brought— you have to drink when a liberal makes a Bush joke, or when Meryl Streep looks bored, we drank often...
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I can take him on American Idol, but when E!'s golden boy gets on the red carpet the verbal diarhea is downright embarrasing. I'll take Isaac Mizahri feeling up starlets over Seacrest's creepy oggling and suggestive remarks any day. Well, actually maybe not. This shit is hilarious! Here's just a few of the comments Ry has made on E!'s Academy Awards pre-show so far today...
Is there a dirty side to Helen (Miren)? I bet she's naughty! -To Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in The Queen.
The most exclusive traffic jam in history! -describing a limo shot.
Is there too much self-importance at this event? - J-Lo and Marc Anthony.
What did you do today? Did you spa? Did you workout?- To Penelope Cruz.
It's like hottie after hottie!- as Jessica Biel approaches.
Aren't you dressing up as a woman soon? Tell me... I wanna know everything! -To John Travolta
I"m 5'9" and 140 lbs! -???
Ew, he just flashed his Calvins!
Back with more later.
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This just in: The Standard Downtown will be hosting Kitten Fashion Week, created by designer and publisher Mike Vensel to allow designers who don't have a budget to get to show their designs. I thought that's what Gen Art was for? Kitten Fashion Week, which gets its name from the magazine that Vensel not only publishes but is also Editor-in-chief, will take a mix of brand spankin' new designers and more established ones to create 3 days of shows that they feel will make a welcome addition to Los Angeles Fashion Week. Designers showing include, Ziji (who showed at GenArt last season), Kevin Johnn, Kushcush (who showed at Smashbox)...and what's this? Mike Vensel? Yes, the creator, publisher, editor, renaissance man is also showing his own designs. Is this a case of if-you-can't-join 'em-start-your-own? On first glance maybe, but in addition to generous support from sponsors Kitten will be SELLING tickets, $29.95 per show standing, $49.95 if you want a seat. PER SHOW. So maybe this is just a cash cow? The idea of selling to tickets to anyone who can afford to buy one, really diminishes the spirit of introducing budding designers. Who will they be introduced to? Rich bored wives of rich busy producers? Smashbox is trying to change all that because it didn't work for them. And didn't LA's attempt to have two fashion weeks fail? How do they expect to compete? We're going to contact the folks at Kitten to find out. Stay tuned...
Posted by Linda Immediato
If you were planning on attending the Oscars screening at the W Hotel in Westwood, please note there's a time change. The publicist just informed there was a misprint on their invite, the event actually starts at 5 p.m.
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ARTHUR MAG IS DEAD. This on Pitchfork:
Hippies, stoners, and folk freaks the world over wept today as it was announced that Arthur magazine will close its doors after five glorious years of delivering discourse and pretty pictures on art, music, and more to our marijuana-stained hands. As confirmed by editor Jay Babcock, Arthur will cease operations effective immediately.
Arthur, printed bi-monthly in oversize format and available free at the savvier venues, bookstores, and record shops near you, set up shop in October 2002. In addition to publishing articles, interviews, artwork, and more on/by Thurston Moore, Arthur C. Clarke, Spike Jonze, Devendra Banhart, Will Oldham, Joanna Newsom, Joe Strummer, and others-- and playing a vital role in the freak folk boom of a few years back-- Arthur also hosted/curated a number of festivals, including Arthur Nights in the magazine's home city of Los Angeles.
Sad news indeed. But freak folksters needn't despair - they have the new issue of Radar Mag to console themselves with, complete with a rather interesting 'Toxic Bachelors' cover story featuring Colin Farrell in his underwear and tales of an impossibly lecherous James Woods (him, 59, her, 20). I also enjoyed the 'Socialites - They're Just Like Us' spread featuring rich bitch models hanging around bowling alleys in couture gowns. Because that's what common people do, right?
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After accidently standing up the two grande dames of the red carpet (on Valentine's Day no less!), I finally caught up with Melissa Rivers, who was shopping for powder at Sephora here in LA and Joan Rivers who was still in NY, to talk Oscars. I found out who they were looking forward to seeing, what trends we can expect and if they really like working with one another...
Style Council: What trends do you think we're going to see on the red carpet?
Melissa: We're going to see a little more structured dresses. I think we're moving away from the flowy dresses and empire waists.
Joan: We'll see a little less goddess. Some idiot will probably decide bald is good. Apparently bald is big right now.
What would you tell attendees to avoid?
Joan: The simpler the better, don't wear anything fussy.
Melissa: The biggest thing we see over and over...the biggest problem is people wearing something that they're clearly uncomfortable in— where the dress is wearing them.
You guys haven't been fans of bed-head hair on the red carpet, I heard you guys go off on Sienna Miller's hair at the Golden Globes. Is it just a no-no?
Melissa: It's one thing to look sexy and undone, it's another to look messy.
Helen Mirren getting her tits out at the Golden Globes caused quite a commotion. Yay or nay on women of a certain age airing their dirty pillows?
Melissa: Good for her! I loved her cleavage, she looked amazing...
Joan: She's a bombshell. She's a sexy woman in real life, people just confuse her with the parts she plays and expect something else.
Who are you excited to see?
Melissa: I can't wait to see Penelope Cruz, everything she does is right. And Cate Blanchet, I remember she wore a yellow and burgundy dress that was amazing. But I didn't like dress she wore to the Golden Globes that much. She understands fashion and takes the risks, which is not always a good thing to do. But generally, 99% of the time, she's a hit.
Joan: Oh! All the big ones! Peter O'Toole, Meryl Streep, Forest Whitaker. They all look so good. I mean this is the event they save the best dress and tux for.
What about men, who do you expect will garner your Best Dressed award?
Joan: George Clooney set the bar so high...
Melissa: All men need to take a cue from Clooney, take a page out of the George Clooney playbook.
Who will be most improved?
Joan: Johnny Depp. He showed up looking like an idiot. But he's really pulled himself together.
(To Melissa) I see you roll your eyes at your mom during your red carpet broadcasts. Does she piss you off?
Melissa: There are moments when you want to kill your parent, everyone has them. But I'm thrilled she's with me, cause I don't have a better ally.
Any last advice for Oscar nominees?
Melissa: Take pictures of how you look in photographs beforehand. What looks good in person may look horrible on film.
Joan: This is a very prestigious award. The award follows you your whole life. And the pictures they take that night will follow you too. Look good.
Watch them— Live At The Academy Awards— on the TV Guide channel, starting at 8pm PST, and don't miss the trash talkin' hangover the next-day during their Fashion Wrap, Monday, same channel, same time.
Posted by Linda Immediato
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Yeah, so do I. SHOW ME THE OSCARS might not be a walk down the red carpet, but if you don't have a TV or you'll be all by your lonesome the night of broadcast, it might be the next best thing. Everyone knows it's way more fun to dish and cheer with a group. Head to Whiskey Blue in the W Hotel Westwood, the Oscar-viewing party night kicks off the launch of their new screening program.
You'll watch the awards on a large flat screen TV, share gourmet popcorn, drink Oscar-inspired cocktails. There's even a ballot contest so you can have your say. And since everyone knows trying to find parking in Westwood can drive someone to triple homicide, the W is offering discounted valet parking, only $5 (if you purchase a drink). See details on invite below.

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If you have a MySpace page, then lucky you. You can diddle away hours at work, perp for dates, check up on exs, plug your band, and now...you can attend their secret shows. Well, they've been going on for a year, whether you knew you were invited or not.
Last February, MySpace launched "Secret Shows" a concert series, taking place in smaller venues, without advance notice and you can attend for free, all by adding the program as your friend. They debuted at the Hotel Cafe, where Rilo Kiley was the super secret guest. And since then the likes of Franz Ferdinand, James Blunt, Method Man, Ray LaMontagne, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Lily Allen debuted in this country alone.
Tomorrow at 1530 Ivar, 7pm, Clipse, Cold War Kids, and Diamond Nights, RSVP to Secretshows@unsceneinc.com...But you have to be on myspace....
Posted by Linda Immediato

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Are we supposed to comment on this? I'm speechless. Kudos to The Post for avoiding the now cliched, "Britney Shears." And calling her "a buzz kill" was a nice touch. I miss those NYC rags. In J school it was always fun to come up with a Post-esque headline. Feel free to come up with one, best headline wins a date with Craig of the Other Style Council.
Posted by Linda Immediato
What's goin on here you ask? Why it's our latest discovery, The Trash Band, who play only items found in dumpsters and waste bins. We caught the colorful ensemble at Lust For LACE, the Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibition's annual Valentines party this past Saturday and let's just say recycling has never been so rollicking!
Also saw a guy get whipped into hamburger, made Babeland vibrator pouches and watched naughty videos. To get all the scintillating scoop, check out this Thursday's edition of Nightranger!
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Lingerie isn't just for men, and their Victoria Secret fantasies, it can be for YOU too. It kind of feels good knowing you have hot ass panties on under your dress even if no one will see 'em. Go to Bittersweet Butterfly, for some nice knickers, or flowers (there's no law against buying yourself flowers) or chocolates. It's way less Fredericks of Hollywood or Hustler and more like a Parisian lingerie shop. Jennifer, a sales goddess there helped me come up with all kinds of choices, she also poured free champagne while she did it. I couldn't make up my mind between a here-is-my-sex-outfit ensemble and a more Lolita innocently-hot set, but she was patient and we worked it out. Ultimately I think natural is better than padded, you have to manage expectations. This shop is filled with all kinds of goodies—earrings, thigh highs, and handbags, so go make yourself feel good, or drop some hints if your boyfriend didn't come through....
Bittersweet Butterfly 1406 Micheltorena St., Silver Lake, (323) 660-4303 or www.bittersweetbutterfly.com
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Best caption wins a date with Linda Immediato

Photo: Charlie White
Flowers? Candy? Dinner? Nice but boooring….
Why not give something a little bit more creative today – like say, a Dukes of Hazzard watch or a Speed Racer remote control car for your man? How about a book on Hair Metal or Cholo style for her? I'll take the groovy undies from local loca designer Flopi (hint… hint).

All are available at the kitschy fun Silver Lake shop Ghetto Gloss just a hop, skip and a jump from the Reservoir.
The Ghetto gals are also having an opening tonight called "Love it or Leave it." The show features the work of Hans Haveron, an Austin-born/LA-based painter whose background in film and fashion (he does everything from costuming to airbrushed make- up) really enhances the fantasy feel of his work. If ya got the dough, his stuff would make a great gift for a lover or yourself.

If you're unattached ya probably think Valentines Day is nothing short of hell-day, but really, you should celebrate your freedom and go out baby! There are, after all more single people than couples (okay, I have no data on this but it sure seems like it), and there's puh-lenty of places to hook up with them this fine, fucked up eve.
Here's a few suggestions:


and finally, a very V-day appropriate set from "Lonely Love-r" The Gray Kid at CLUB NME at Spaceland.

See ya there!
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Ok, the holiday really just sucks. There's just so much pressure to have love, be in love, send love. fuck it.
A friend of mine tipped me off to the Anti-Valentine's Day Party at Birds. There will be black balloons and anti-love songs played all night.
Stay for the Bonfire of the Broken Hearted where you can burn the name of an ex lover, and best break-up story wins you a gift certificate!
Anti Valentine's Day Party
Free
8pm-1am
Birds (restaurant/bar)
5925 Franklin Ave
(323) 465-0175
photo: http://www.alanlongstaff.net/uploads/images/heartbroken.jpg
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Indie 103.1FM is officially on my shitlist. I've had enough of retarded Toyota of Huntington Beach ads and Suicide Girls talking about making out with their girlfriends. And most disturbingly, I discovered that morning host Joe Escalante/Dr. LegalDouche is, apparently, an amateur toreador. Ole!
Joe 'I Harm Bulls For Fun' Escalante
So I have tuned my radio dial south, to KXLU 88.9FM, the college radio station which likes to play songs I haven't already heard 4 trillion times. This morning I listened to a show called The Voice of Reason where thanks to some wierd mic effects, the DJ sounded like an alien. It was a nice touch, but what really impressed me was the alien's inspired choice of music, from Be Your Own Pet to the Sesame Street 'Milk' song by Robert Dennis, some 8-bit music and other weird shit I had never heard before. They are also big into their Lavender Diamond, although the DJs seem to have trouble pronouncing the name of the album - it is CAVALRY of Light, not CALVERY of light.
My other new favorite radio station is V100 - not only do they play Luther Vandross, Mariah Carey and Lionel Richie, their DJs also look like this:


(V100 is staffed entirely by androids - these are bio pictures taken directly from their website.)
The other reason I listen to V100 is because they are giving away a 2007 Range Rover sport vehicle which comes complete with $20,000 in $100 bills stuffed inthe passenger seat, a 550 watt/14 speaker stereo system, a 50" plasma screen TV and $15,000 worth of diamonds and pearls.
My Acura Integra was stolen two weeks ago, so if scoring a new jewel-encrusted, dollar-stuffed pimp ride requires me to listen to Mariah Carey's Fly Like a Bird eight times a day, so be it. (Although I must say, I am bummed not to be able to enter V100's 'Black Faces in High Places' contest, sponsored by Smart and Final.)
I may not have gotten into the Rolling Stone/Verizon bash featuring Justin Timberlake with Nelly Furtado, Black Eyed Peas, Danity Kane and Timbaland at Avalon this past Friday (I was tired anyway, so there!!), but I still got the dirt from the party. Here's what my spies spied:
BASS IS BACK
Lance Bass was getting friendly with male fans and dancing to the Black Eyed Peas.
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Ok they weren't really flip-flops, more like comfy black slides with rubber soles, and they were hidden under an entirely appropriate long and billowy 70s halter dress. But still I felt pretty earthy and under-dressed sauntering amidst all the Manolos and Choos that flooded the Staples Center last night.
Not that I was walking alongside the designer-drenched music godesses or anything. I had a ticket, but I had to enter thru the non-famous-people section far, far away from the glitz of the red carpet.
Still, while inside I saw Ellen Degeneres making the scene with her camera crew (and GF Portia DeRossi) in tow. Also eyed Paula Abdul in the VIP bathroom caking on powder, Matisyahu (nice purple shirt) carrying a baby carrier as his wife and kids followed, and the gals of Danity Kane having some kind of upsetting, intense conversation I just couldn't get close enough to hear.
Other than that, the Grammy's themselves were pretty uneventful. What ya saw on TV was what it was. The hoopla and hedonism all happened the week prior, with parties and related events nearly every night. How, I wondered, do the stars look so daisy fresh after all the week's activities?
Which brings me to why I wore bad shoes to the event.
I danced til 4 am to The Roots and friends at the Key Club the night before. Joined by the likes of Queen Latifah, Anita Baker, India.Irie, and Matisyahu on stage, and featuring a mini--and kinda angry- comedy routine from Dave Chapelle ("You know why I'm smoking this cigarette on stage? "Cause I don't give a fuck!") this one was so packed the fire marshall showed -right before I did- and I almost didn't get in. It was worth standing in the rain though. My pal Pauley Perrette from the TV show Navy:NCIS gave me her wristband so I got to hang upstairs in the VIP section which was cool, but equally crowded. The show started so late, I did a little clubbin beforehand, checkin out a new DJ night at the Highlands. Yes, I danced. I danced a lot. But really, my feet were throbbing from a couple nights before, when I shook my humps and wore high heels (dumb!) at the Black Eyed Peas' Pea Pod Benefit. (Read more about all three events in this week's Nightranger!)
After the Grammy's there's even more parties to attend and though I was only invited to one, I got reports about a few of the others. The Governer's Ball takes place on–site and is where winners and assorted Grammy association peeps hang out after the show. On Saturday, when I went to pick up my ticket, I ran into some of the entertainers rehearsing. They were about to have lunch (note chicken).
My pal Heidi Richman went to The EMI party at BLVD 3 and said it was a fun fete. She and her client Grammy nominee Sarah Kelly, ultimately went across the street for a cocktail at Cat & Fiddle though, where they spotted Corrinne Bailey Rae, so it couldn't have been too eventful.
The William Morris party, where I went on the other hand, was crazy fabulous with some real rock royalty in the house... Read all about it in this week's Nightranger!
The IRS may have cracked down on swag, but it'll never go away.
And let's be honest, whether or not you think that's a good or bad thing kinda depends on whether you're lucky enough to get it.
Freebies were reserved for "talent" at the Grammy Style Studio sponsored by InStyle, which took over the legendary Ocean Way Studios on Sunset all week, but I did get an amazing hair trim from Warren Tricomi salon and some hot makeup from Urban Decay.
The celebs, on the other hand, walked out with bags and bags of stuff. On Saturday, I ran into the guys from OK Go who showed off their haul (clothes from Ted Baker and hats from Stetson) outside as they waited for their car.
Inside, while sitting in the hair chair, sipping blue Hpnotiq cocktails, I saw the likes of Weird Al, and Takara from America's Next Top Model partake in the orgy of goods and services, the later of which kept saying,"Gimme Bling! Gimme Bling! as a makeup artist patted her eyelids with glitter. Al should've been the one saying that though, he is after all a rapper these days, with his cut "White and Nerdy," a parody of Chamillionaire's "Ridin."
The gal below, a future pop sensation her producer tells me, named Kerli, fittingly got soft curls (the hot trend for Grammys) while I opted for stick straight locks to go with the Cher-like dress I planned to wear to the awards.
Unfortunately, I think I picked the least stellar day to attend the Style Studio.
Just get a load of some of the celebs who attended earlier in the week:
John Legend, Black Eyed Peas, Katherine McPhee, Natasha Bedingfield, Pussycat Dolls, John Densmore of The Doors, KT Tunstall, Gnarls Barkley, The Roots, Paul Oakenfold, T.I., Ne-Yo, Perry Farrell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, Peter Frampton, Danity Kane, Akon, Earth, Wind & Fire, Common and more.
Musicians not waiting til the last minute. Who woulda thunk it?
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I was so sad man. I love Smokey Robinson. LOVE LOVE LOVE him. But he looks like the black Tom Jones. He didn't blink at all. I feel bad for even pointing it out. But plastic surgery in this country is like a disease. How great would it have been to see Smokey age? Let every wrinkle tell a story. Still he sounded damn good, but every time he sang, "Take a good look at my face, can't you see my smile looks out of place," I cringed.
Posted by Linda Immediato
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That was the best line of the evening. From Steffie, who was trying to think of a reason why the Rascal Flatts were doing a 5 minute medley of Eagles tunes. Turns out Henely won an award, Person of the Year. But even more troubling was the Rascal Flatts themselves, with their throw every genre of music out there and see what sticks, punk hair, ritchie sambora locks, leather metal studded jackets. They were like the product of some mad musical mastermind. They were an abomination. I couldn't help thinking of Alien Resurrection, that room containing all the failed attempts at replicating Ripley. Rascal Flatts would be the last one, lying on the table begging to be killed.
Carrie Underwood though, did a better job at Desperado than Henley himself. I think I finally understood that song.
Posted by Linda Immediato
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Grammy fashion, supposedly, is "anything goes" – an opportunity to let your freak flag fly, get a little rock 'n' roll, show some skin, etc. But the looks on display last night - with the exceptions of a wonderfully courageous Imogen Heap who dressed, I think, as a tree? and OK Go, who personified "the red carpet" - were classic and tailored. The biggest fashion trend of the evening was the triumphant return of the three-piece suit and, in particular, the piece that makes it three: the vest. For too long, vests have been relegated to the realm of thrift store bargain bins – a useless item that only hopelessly out of date losers would wear (full disclosure: my childhood wardrobe included many vests). Think of Grandpa in Little Miss Sunshine, who wore his bad-boy black leather vest as a, um, vestige of his glory days. But as we saw last night, there really is something sexy, masculine and classy about a vest.
An ageless Sting, who opened the show with the reunited Police (do we care? It's not like Sting or the Police's songs have been out of the public eye…), wailed out "Roxanne" in a black vest sans shirt, showing off his yoga physique. Later, in the evening's final performance, Anthony Kiedis wore a white tank top and black vest. I think Anthony needs to get some fashion props here, because I know I've seen him in this look many times before, possibly in the '90s, with long shorts, the very combo he wore last night (as you may know, one of the Style Council's current mantras is grunge revival, and it's totally happening).
Justin Timberlake, seated at the piano, performed "What Goes Around Comes Around" in a gray vest and rolled up shirtsleeves for a very "late night smoky jazz club" vibe. John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, also vested, had more of a Hasidic diamond dealer thing going, accented by a beard and yarmulke-esque haircut. Ludacris, shorn of his locks, wore a gray three-piece on the red carpet, but stepped it up to a black tux when he performed "Runaway Love" with Mary J. Blige. But he removed his jacket to rap in a white cutaway waistcoat (aka vest…are we sick of this word yet?). By the way, Mary J.'s red halter pantsuit and winged hair, only one of four costume changes of the night, were totally foxy.
I was very proud of the Dixie Chicks, but not completely sold on the trio of voluminous, floor-length black empire waist dresses. In combination, repeatedly swaying up to the stage in long swaths of black, they created a sort of Cousin It effect. However Natalie Maines did have the best off-the-cuff line of the night, accepting their fifth Grammy: "I'm ready to make nice!"
Gnarls Barkley's airplane theme was a bit mystifying (I read that they were supposed to be escapees from Fantasy Island???), and unfortunately their orchestrated version of "Crazy" never really kicked in. Plus, why wasn't the orange jumpsuited female chorus waving light sticks? How could they have overlooked such an obvious opportunity for a great visual?
That's hardly a surprise given the shockingly bad production values of the show. The camera work was amateurish – veering all over the place, barely able to keep Mary J. in the frame when she was having one of those bent-over soul diva moments; then cutting off the Texas Playboys at the chest in order to show Bob Wills in the giant screen above them. Um, how about cutting between the two? The reams of white paper they sent down during the Chili Peppers' song threatened to choke Anthony Kiedis (and this was probably not recycled paper, which surely irked Al Gore, whose lapel Queen Latifah cutely picked a stray piece off). Meanwhile the fog that poured out of a smoke machine during Christina Aguilera's rendition of James Brown's "It's A Man's World" almost completely obscured her at one point. In a sexy twist on the evening's theme she accented a form-fitting white suit with a low-cut beaded vest.
Only one garment outshone them all, and that was James Brown's cape, brought onstage by his main man Danny Raye. With a beaming smile Raye held up the glittery red cape reading "Godfather of Soul," and then he draped it over the mic stand and the stage went dark. That's one mantle that will never be passed on.
posted by Steffie Nelson
photo courtesy of AFP
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yeah, yeah, yeah, The Police reunited and it felt so good (and Sting still looks so good).
But the best thing about this year's Grammy Awards was the honoring of powerful women, and it's about frickin' time. I'm talking about Mary J. Blige, and of course the Dixie Chicks sweep—5 Grammy's including Album of the Year.

Mary broke it down when she sang "Be Without You." She gave us the back story telling us how she didn't love herself enough to let someone lover her, proudly donned her Queen of Hip-Hop Soul crown, and delivered that song with a voice that knows pain, suffering, struggle, but now also deliverance and redemption. When she spoke, it was from the heart, drawing from a well of life experience, including her personal triumph in allowing herself to have love. There was no ego, or pretense, only strength and a depth of character we don't see in the likes of Jessica Simpson or even Carrie Underwood. Mary had to work for it, and not by auditioning in front of Simon Cowell. I don't know much about Mary's background but I do know she has a scar on her face she refuses to talk about, and in her acceptance speech, she spoke about time spent in the valley, in the low place. And to come from that dark valley, up the mountain, to standing on a stage at the Grammys, award in hand, before a standing ovation, must certainly have felt like the summit. We had all witnessed a woman's dream come true. It was a deeply emotional moment and I admit, I cried.
And the Dixie Chicks! How perfect that the lovely Joan Baez introduced them? I don't even have to say it. We all know what the Dixie Chicks winning meant and especially winning in the Country Music category. We know what it meant for free speech, maybe for the non-existent war movement, but I was especially happy to see women being rewarded for sticking up for themselves in the face of unpopular opinion. Not just for being half nude and dancing (I forgive Shakira, her Arabic bellydance was sort of political on some level).
I loved that Christina Aguilera, a white woman, in a white suit, got down on her knees and belted out, It's A Man's World. It called to mind witch trials and hunger strikes for the right to vote and it made my feminist heart swell with pride. I felt it gave context to the evening.
Even Ludacris' Runaway Love (the hip-hop "Janie's Got A Gun"), performed with Mary J. and Earth, Wind and Fire, had young women holding candles, on the stage, standing in unity celebrating female hardship and our ability to overcome adversity.
I haven't felt so inspired by women or felt like there were any real role models, since Sally Ride went into space. One small step for women, one giant step for little girls everywhere.
Posted by Linda Immediato
Dixie chicks photo by Reuters
Mary J. Blige photo by MARK J. TERRILL/AP
SATURDAY, midnight, my bedroom

When I saw the invite in my inbox to Clive Davis' annual pre-Grammy shin-dig in Beverly Hills, I couldn't rsvp fast enough. This is the best party to go to by all accounts. It's where Alicia Keys, supposedly got discovered, it's where all the nominees— the big names— go to party and a few perform (the names are kept secret until the night of the party). Last year Kelly Clarkson and Jamie Foxx sang. I hit send on my rsvp, and was deep in thought about dresses when I received a prompt reply from the publicist who said that press was welcome only for arrivals, that they were no longer extending inside access to the media. So, I guess you could say I got invited to a red carpet. I could have, I suppose, stood outside for hours snapping pictures of stars, but so many people do that already and are much better at it, so I stayed home made deviled eggs and drank a martini.
A little after midnight, I found pictures had already been uploaded onto Wireimage..
Jennifer Hudson and Christina Aguilera performed. Smokey Robinson was photographed with Hudson, so I guess there were no hard feelings about Robinson speaking up about Dreamgirls. Justin Timberlake, was a no-show, sick with the flu. Barry Manilow, Whitney Houston, Naomi Campell and Tyra Banks were there, Fergie, Diddy, Mary J., Pink, and Nelly, Ellen Degeneres and Portia di Rossi, Al Gore was also there with his wife, and even L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. Pretty much everyone.
Performances and a few interviews will also be broadcast on XM Radio's dedicated Grammy channel, GRAMMY Radio (XM 200). And the station will continue Grammy coverage throughout the weekend.
Web-based Real Networks Rhapsody® service, broadcasted the performances live last night, and will rebroadcast the audio of a few all next week.
photo from http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,251364,00.html
Posted by Linda Immediato
FRIDAY, 10:30 p.m. Jim Henson Studios

(Can you spot Alicia Keys, Will-i-am or Andre 3000 in this picture? Neither can we.)
The crowd seemed to swell by the minute. People were pouring into the Jim Henson courtyard for the annual "Friends and Family" Grammy event, hosted by some music industry big-wigs, like Tom Whalley (President of Warner Brothers); Jason Flom (President EMI Music Group, US); Jeff Kwatinetz (CEO The Firm); Lia Vollack (President of Music Sony Films) to support the Guitar Foundation, which provides funding for music programs.

The party eventually spilled into the Chaplin soundstage, where DJ's Jus Ske (Pharrell's DJ), Benny D. (Akon's DJ) and XXXchange (of Spankrock) took turns at the wheels, some party-goers danced, some sat on what has become standard corporate party furniture—white vinyl couches. There was a spread of food— soggy eggrolls and wontons, and enough Red Bull to keep all of WeHo up longer than a tina bender. Expected to attend were Alicia Keys, Outkast, Gnarls Barkley, Will-I-Am, The Fray, Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, Dr Dre and others. If they were there I didn't see 'em. Then again there were so many people, you couldn't separate the trees from the forest, or the wanna-bes from the will-bes.

I saw a group of young boys- ages 18-21- under a flurry of flashbulbs. The Arizon-based band, A Change of Pace (above), was taking full advantage of every photo op. They seemed so stoked to be at this party. I guess it was the clothes, the hair, the age, and how their manager wouldn't let them get a word in, that smelled like eau d' exploited boy band. Who came up with the name? Change of Pace? Sounds like some empty-nester song by James Taylor, or a show on Lifetime.

It took some convincing to get these boys to pose for a picture. "Yeah, we know, we heard it a million times tonight," the guy with the camera said, referring to the fact that these friends showed up to the same party wearing similar flannels. By the way... flannels. I predicted 90s grunge was coming back, and wanted to take this picture as proof to show a few of my pals who strongly disagreed with me that we were going to see the end of 80s fashion this year.
But I can mostly sum up the party with the following photo:

Aphrodite (not her real name) introduced me to her date, "this is Dr. Vallecillos. My plastic surgeon."
"I'm sorry?" I asked. "did you say plastic surgeon?" That's right the Vin Diesel look alike was her plastic surgeon, and her date. That was probably the most LA moment I may have ever had, or maybe it was when she ran after me to give me his business card.
Posted by Linda Immediato
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FRIDAY, 7:30 p.m. Viper Room
There was a lively and fashionable crowd at the Viper Room Friday night for MSO PR's soiree celebrating the launch of their new website. Grande dame of public relations, Alexandra Greenberg, introduced me to the MS in MSO, Mitch Schneider. Mitch (above, in black hat) is a cool guy, maybe more of a cool kat. He has the cap, sunglasses, black shirt beneath a fitted blazer, jeans, some man jewelry and the kind of confidence that can only mean one thing—his client roster is huge.

MSO does PR for the likes of Aerosmith and Depeche Mode. Last night Alexandra (above) told me the big news was Erasure, another client, just announced a new release— Light At the End of the World, which is due out May 22 and Billy Corgan has reunited with the rest of the Smashing Pumpkins to begin working on a new album. MSO also represents the Coachella Music Festival, which is on everybody's tongues— and in their ears if they listen to Indie 103 — and the brand spankin new Stagecoach Festival. Mitch is very excited about country music fest out in the desert. "California is the birthplace of so much country music," he said, "we're going to have it represented in all its genres, old country, new country, alt country." And Willie Nelson plays both festivals- yeah!
Posted by Linda Immediato
Necessity is the mother of (re)invention, especially when it comes to LA nightlife, and one of our favorite coffeehouses has taken that to heart.
Highland Grounds was always the cool neighborhood hang, a perfect place to meet for a caffeine fix and hangover brunch after a night of hard partying.
Now it's the place where you actually do the partying too.
Re-christened The D!ve just a few weeks ago, the place has a new look, new menu, an alchemic array of libations and most importantly, a fresh attitude.
Thursday night, owners Rich and Leslie Brenner and partner Sara Gregory marked the place's re-birth with a drink and grub-filled party, attracting Hollywood locals and food-lovin' friends from throughout the city. (The Brenners are also co-owners of uber-popular eateries Hugos in WeHo and Studio City).
Though HG was known for its live music nights, The D!ve has done away with all of it. I saw some great shows there over the years, but Brenner says it had gotten stale- and I don't think he was talking just about the bands either.
The D!ve may have a dark and sumptuous new look and better eats and booze galore, but the one thing about this space that hasn't changed is the relaxed feeling you get as soon as you walk in. Yes it's been totally revamped –and renamed- but it's no Sam Nazarian velvet-rope trap and it never will be.
When I lived off of Melrose, I'd go HG a couple of times a week. I loved the breezy outdoor patio, and would often do interviews there. Thankfully, they didn't change that area and Thursday that's where I found myself chompin' (cornbread, chili, calamari and pizzas from their wood-burning oven) and chattin' up familiar faces from back when I was regular. There were plenty of new faces as well, and everyone seemed to mesh quite naturally. If Cheers was set in Hollywood, it would've felt something this.
And if you're more into caffeine than cocktails, don't fret, the coffee is still as strong as the alkeehol, and breakfast and lunch time is still chill. The Grounds may be dead, but as The D!ve, its seems to have found a new way to thrive.
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I met Anna Nicole Smith last year when she showed up at Hamburger Mary's in West Hollywood with her now-deceased son Daniel. It was Bingo night, and Daniel and I chatted as we watched his mom dancing and falling over and making out with the hot lesbian bartender.
She was wild, outta control, and kinda amazing. She was also, clearly, on a downward spiral and sadly it is no surprise that the Anna Nicole Smith story would end like this:
From CNN.com.
Reality TV star and former model Anna Nicole Smith was pronounced dead Thursday after being taken to a Florida hospital, a law enforcement source told CNN.
Smith, 39, collapsed at a south Florida hotel, according to news reports.
"I can confirm that she is deceased. It's as shocking to me as to you guys," Smith's attorney, Ronald Rale, told Reuters. "I don't know anything further. [Her lawyer and husband] Howard [K. Stern], obviously, is speechless and grieving."
TMZ.com had reported that Smith collapsed at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida, and was rushed to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood just after 2 p.m. ET.
According to reports, Smith was found unresponsive in her hotel room.
Smith was involved in a paternity suit regarding the parentage of her daughter, Danielynn, as well as other disputes, including some regarding a house she stayed at in the Bahamas around the time she gave birth.
Earlier this week, Smith was included in a class-action lawsuit against a company, TrimSpa, for which she had worked as a spokesperson. TrimSpa makes a product it claims leads to substantial weight loss. The lawsuit alleges the marketing of the product, TrimSpa X32, was false or misleading.
Smith's son, Daniel Wayne Smith, died at age 20 just days after the birth of Smith's daughter. Pathologist Cyril Wecht said a lethal dose of methadone and antidepressants caused cardiac dysrhythmia, leading to his death.
It's that time of year again. When fashionistas go at it, putting up their fiercest fights (so much fun to watch), for a chance to nab some amazing deals on designer duds.

You'd think things would be fairly chill and spacious at the annual Barney's NY Warehouse sale, it is after all in a humongous airplane hangar! Alas, it's anything but.
This is how it always goes, for me anyway. I'm making my way through a rack of cute mini-dresses and there's this chick doing the same on the other end. We meet in the middle and right in between us just happens to be the frock we both want! Ha! In the past I would have just walked around the beeotch, let the item be, and if was meant for me, it'd still be there. But I've gotten a lot less patient in my older years. Now I take what I want, even if I'm not sure I want it yet. (I do put it back after I've decided of course!)
Expect to encounter throngs of relentless retail warriors (way worse than me!) tomorrow, when the sale begins at 8 a.m.! It runs through February 19th. I'll be going sometime before then and if ya see me, clear the aisles because I'll be wearing sneakers and armed with a stroller. Like Carrie Bradshaw said, "Shopping is my cardio!"
Sale hours: 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. weekdays (except for the first 2 days will be 8am to 9pm), and from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. At 3021 Airport Ave Santa Monica, CA 90405.
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When did haiku become hip? Don't know exactly how or why but all of sudden, I'm being bombarded with news about the pithy li'l poems.
First I get a press release that Gnarls Barkley has announced a contest looking for the best haiku about (don't ask me why) pineapples or solitude. See press release below and check out the band's My Space page for their fans freaky attempts.
Then I hear that Uncabaret diva Beth Lapides has a new book out called "Did I Wake You? Haikus for Modern Living," on Soft Skull Press. You can buy it here…. but why?
And finally, when I saw this and it was all over. Sooo witty. Not!
Note: I tried to come up with my own 3 lined, 5-7-5 syllabled ditty for this post but each one sounded so disgustingly pretentious, I decided to pass. There's enough for you uh, enjoy in the links above and below.
(St. Elsewhere, February 2, 2007) A.B. Vidal, the CEO of St. Elsewhere, announced today he is running a Haiku contest on Gnarls Barkley's website. You can find the contest on the home page of www.gnarlsbarkley.com/haiku.
Samples:
I woke up alone
I turned on the radio
In search of some peace
Some doctors may say
That a pineapple a day
Keeps the hemlock away
Lonesome pineapple
How much faster do you roll
When you roll alone
In addition to bragging rights, the winners, chosen by Vidal himself, will win 3 different limited edition Gnarls Barkley lithographs ('Crazy' lithograph, 'Smiley Faces' lithograph, and 'Gone Daddy Gone' lithograph) from the Gnarls Barkley vault.
The contest winner(s) will be announced on February 11th, the same day Gnarls will be performing live on the Grammys.
For even more info, please go to www.myspace.com/gnarlsbarkley
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New York fashion week has been underway for a couple days, and the most entertaining coverage by far comes from L.A.'s very own Fug Girls. They're blogging for New York magazine, bringing their mad, booze-fueled (yet utterly astute) observations to Alexandre Herchcovitz' "Hefty bag chic," Alice Roi's clog footwear (which I have to say I kind of support; I want me some clogs!) and, most skeweringly, to another L.A. import: Rock & Republic.
Personally, I don't like the stuff; in my opinion, artful tatters and metal studs do not a rocker make, but I've just disregarded the line as another Sunset Boulevard casualty that belongs with Hustler Hollywood and The Rok Bar, if they even exist anymore. However I didn't realize that R&R is yet another of our local lines that chooses to show its collections in New York, a decision that's hard to argue with even though I think it has done terrible damage to L.A. Fashion Week. But the thing is, if you want to play with the big kids, you've got to move beyond shiny metallic minis and leggings, tired '70s fur collars, and floor length dusters over bra tops, accessorized with big crosses. And how about the plunging cowl cocktail dress held together by chains, above? I swear you can get that at the mall, or at least you could in 1989. I didn't see the show in person, but I would have to agree with the Fug Girls that it appears to be "a tragedy against fabric." Not to mention the L.A. fashion community.
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Can someone please tell me where the good music is to be found in this city?
Last night I went to Dance Right at La Cita downtown which was bursting at the seams with the usual mix of sceney 12-year-olds getting their groove on...Shepard Fairey and DJ Pubes were spinning pop, hip hop and radio-friendly ear smegma...a little Biggie Smalls here, a little Beatles re-mix there, a shot of Hello Mr. Postman mixed in with some blahness and sprinkled with a lite dusting of zzzzz. Dance Right? More like Dance Wrong.
I'm not singling out Shepard or Pubes for criticism - I've found most of the scenester DJs in LA tend to spin the same uniformly bland playlist, whether you're at Cinespace on a Tuesday, at Franki Chan's Check Yo Ponytail or the truly toe-curling Banana Split at LAX. At the other end of the spectrum are nights like Arthur Magazine's Little Joy party on Thursdays, where DJs pack an infinitely more intelligent, obscure and slightly weird collection of vinyl in their record bags (fotheringay, carole king, wimple winch, thunderclap newman) but the cramped Bar Of Little Joy is hardly an