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Art

The LOLCats Rewrite the Bible: Cat Hell, Cat Heaven & The Gospel According to Ceiling Cat

By Gendy Alimurung, Monday, Nov. 16 2009 @ 5:05AM
Comments (69)
Categories: Books, Candyland, Daily Distraction, Interweird, Pets, Weird, comedy

02ceilingcat.jpg
​

Martin Grondin, a 25-year-old software installation support engineer living in Dracut, MA, thought it would be a nice idea to translate the entire holy Bible into cat language. So a few years ago, he created the online LOLCat Bible Translation Project. The Bible is now due out in book form courtesy of Ulysses Press. After first exclaiming "Oh, hai!" Grondin talked with me about catspeak, cat god, and how not to wind up in cat hell.

Are there cat apostles? Like in the real bible?



The cat apostles were there when the apostles of the Bible were there,
 writing their version of things. It's a mystery of where they truly 
ended up, so they emulate very strongly with the Bible's apostles.



Is there an LOL cat devil? What is LOL cat hell like?



There is Basement Cat. The road to the Basement is full of catnip and lose. Basement Cat hates all things good and does not like Ceiling 
Cat, even though they used to be best buds way back in the day before Ceiling Cat pwned Basement Cat.

 The Basement is everything cats hate. It's dirty, it's wet, and it's
 ull of things that go bump and squirt bottles. Can you imagine a cat
 trying to go through eternity of getting squirt by a squirt bottle? 
All the more reason to follow Ceiling Cat faithfully!



08ceilingcatshepherdallineed.jpg
​

01HappyCat.jpg
​

What was the first Bible passage you translated?

The first passage I translated on my own was Job 1. 
I chose Job because I find the story pretty fascinating.



10jobcat.jpg
All photos courtesy of Ulysses Press & the LOLCat Bible Project
​
Did you write the entire bible? Or was it a group effort between you and
 other people? Or was the entire bible written by cats?

Over 2,300 users have come and translated a portion of the Bible. It
 was very much a group effort and that is why I chose the wiki software 
to get the task done. I think it worked out very well.

 Every one that contributes to the Wiki project are divinely inspired by
 Ceiling Cat by default, unless of course they erase pages or spam.
 Then I am afraid Basement Cat has their souls. Srsly.



03mosesandburningbushcat.jpg
​
Is Ceiling Cat a kind and loving god, or is he a god of fire and brimstone?



Ceiling Cat is a god of Cheezburgers and cookiez and of pwnzors and lazer eyez. You have to watch out. If you are on his good side you will get chin rubs and cheezburgers, but if you get on his bad side he
 will pwn you.



 1  |  2  |  3  | Next Page >>

Tags:

basement cat, bible, blog, catspeak, ceiling cat, cheezburger, gendy alimurung, gospel, lol cats, lolcat, lolcat bible, lolcats, martin grondin, pets, wiki
Comments (69) Write Comment
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More About:

  • Martin Grondin
  • Dracut
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Comments (69)

Elysette says:

Ceiling Cat is a kind and merciful god. But not to dogs!

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 3:47AM
taint says:

Religion is a bad trip = http://bit.ly/GcHZp

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 7:18AM
Jim Deeson says:

Wow, truly amazing dude! LOL cats RULE

RT
www.online-privacy.at.tc

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 7:19AM
Cat Scat says:

Why are people so obsessed with these pictures of cats. I just don't get it ...

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 7:38AM
kitteh says:

I iz scientolojeez!

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 7:39AM
Michael says:

What's a "LOL Cat"?

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 8:13AM
kroon78 says:

I can't stand cats!

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 8:50AM
asd says:

This is dumb by design.

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 9:22AM
Erik says:

@asd
You're dumb by design.

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 10:05AM
Anonymous says:

@asd

you where intelligently designed to be dumb.

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 11:07AM
Anonymous says:

C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 1:45PM
daretoeatapeach says:

I work for the publisher. At first I was skeptical, not being a cat-person myself. Whether you are "into" LOLCats or not, this book is hilarious. Something about the serious subject matter combined with the least serious delivery is spot-on. I can't wait for it to hit bookstores!

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 5:01PM
mikfoss says:

I have read through the lolcat bible project a few times and always lol'd. So glad to hear the hard copy is coming out, I can put it next to my Icanhascheezburger and bad cat books! (and if you don't like cute animals hurry on over to fupenguin.com , my other favorite!)

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 7:12PM
Anonymous says:

Proof read your article next time....

Posted On: Tuesday, Nov. 17 2009 @ 8:24PM
BrianA says:

Just going to throw this out there, I'm a devout Christian and have been my whole life. But this might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. I CAN HAZ COPIEEZ?

Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 18 2009 @ 7:26AM
Gabby V. says:

What a great Christmas present for the crazy cat lovers in my life! hahaha, LOL cats are hilarious!

Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 18 2009 @ 10:14AM
Gabby V. says:

Boo, just learned that the book won't be out until January 2010. Oh well, I'm still gonna get it for myself!

Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 18 2009 @ 10:25AM
Anonymous says:

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read. I wonder how much I'd have to pay the kids at church to recite Luke 2 from the LOL Cat Bible on Christmas Eve.

Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 18 2009 @ 10:40AM
Anonymous says:

guhg

Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 18 2009 @ 11:21AM
ame`line says:

OMG!i be spekin' lolz

Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 18 2009 @ 4:42PM
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Posted On: Wednesday, Nov. 18 2009 @ 9:03PM
curcuma says:

Hello
This is a good article.I think its really very interesting idea to translate the entire holy Bible into cat language.It is also interesting to read those questions and answers which you have given.

Posted On: Saturday, Nov. 21 2009 @ 1:49AM
Natalie DeJohn says:

This is hilarious!!!!!!!! I must read it.

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