Los Angeles Art Blog

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Martin Grondin, a 25-year-old software installation support engineer living in Dracut, MA, thought it would be a nice idea to translate the entire holy Bible into cat language. So a few years ago, he created the online LOLCat Bible Translation Project. The Bible is now due out in book form courtesy of Ulysses Press. After first exclaiming "Oh, hai!" Grondin talked with me about catspeak, cat god, and how not to wind up in cat hell.

Are there cat apostles? Like in the real bible?



The cat apostles were there when the apostles of the Bible were there,
 writing their version of things. It's a mystery of where they truly 
ended up, so they emulate very strongly with the Bible's apostles.



Is there an LOL cat devil? What is LOL cat hell like?



There is Basement Cat. The road to the Basement is full of catnip and lose. Basement Cat hates all things good and does not like Ceiling 
Cat, even though they used to be best buds way back in the day before Ceiling Cat pwned Basement Cat.

 The Basement is everything cats hate. It's dirty, it's wet, and it's
 ull of things that go bump and squirt bottles. Can you imagine a cat
 trying to go through eternity of getting squirt by a squirt bottle? 
All the more reason to follow Ceiling Cat faithfully!



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Last week I did an interview with the blogging genius behind "crafts gone wrong" blog Kraftomatic. Soon after, she posted about these: Nose Cozies. "In my humble yet obsessive opinion, this is the best thing to happen to the cozy since the advent of the asthma-inhaler sweater," writes Marian Lizzi. The seller was tired of cold noses. Necessity is the mother of goddamned weird-ass invention.

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Marian Lizzi is 41 years old and lives in Manhattan. By day she is Editor-in-Chief of the Perigee Books imprint at Penguin. By night she does "a bit of standup comedy" and explores the wide wrong world of bad craft on her blog Kraftomatic.

Boob Scarf anyone?

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The potato costume has eyes!

​What's the single most horrific craft project you've ever seen?



It might have to be a tie between soaps shaped like buffalo wings and
crocheted spotted dick (British dessert pudding). Both are
 surprisingly realistic.



Buffalo soap?

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Nicole Campos

It's a ubiquitous shirt by now, but extra appropriate for this event

​The American Cinematheque's latest series, "The Internet Goes Boom," couldn't have kicked off at a better time. With this year's Creative Emmys, the Internet programming age received a massive jolt of mainstream validation with the short-format, live-action entertainment program win for Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Joss Whedon's wildly popular three-part, musical-comedy-action, Neil Patrick Harris-starring supervillain origin story. (Yeah, it's a mouthful, but that barely begins to do it justice.) To say anything Whedon does is wildly popular amongst geek circles is a bit of an understatement, as evidenced by the throngs of fans who turned out at the Egyptian for the screening, as well as for leading lady Felicia Day's equally beloved Web series, The Guild. (It was quite a diverse crowd, as well, from Whedon's Dollhouse cast members Dichen Lachman and Enver Gjokai cheering on the boss, to a pint-sized Dr. Horrible in the second row with his beaming mamma.)

The Golden Gays

Though it'll be in syndication until Octo-mom's children have children of their own, The Golden Gays are bringing The Golden Girls back into the prime time of our hearts. As they prepared for opening night of the show's two-week run at Casita del Campo in Silver Lake (followed by another run at the Complex Hollywood), Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche and Rose -- as reincarnated by David Romano, John W. McLaughlin, John Blaine Downey III and Irwin Moskowitz -- took time to answer some of our burning questions. Estelle Getty and Bea Arthur, by the way, are not dead, they're just resting.

How do you feel about that bitch Heidi Klum and the rest of Project Runway taking over the Golden Girls' time slot on the Lifetime network?

Sophia: I like the gay guy a lot, but I can't understand a word the blonde bimbo is saying.
Dorothy: Well, let's just see who Lifetime comes crawling back to when Ms. Klum's
15 minutes are up. Who wants to watch abunch of fashionista wannabees cutting up cheap fabric anyway? One day you're in, the next day you're on I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.
Blanche: Heidi is a doll. I've bumped into her several times at the Beverly Glen Market with that fine specimen of a man of hers when I was buying my produce. You know what they say, good shows will play again in reruns. Plus, Heidi and I are like sisters under the skin. We both have fabulous legs. And there is only a slight age difference. So I'm not jealous.
Rose: Couldn't care less. (You'll find that Rose's answers are a little shorter. That's because she didn't understand them and the other girls got tired of explaining.)

Matthew Gasteier runs the blog FU, Penguin. He is 27 years old and lives in Watertown, MA, just outside of Boston. His blog just got turned into a book, which he will be signing tomorrow afternoon, September 12, at Fred Segal. The book and the blog are filled with stuff like this:

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Why do you hate penguins so much?

I actually love penguins, which is why I named my site after them. My lifelong dream is to hug a penguin, but so far I have had no penguins take me up on that dream. I will say that I find that rather rude.

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Do you really hate cute animals? Or is it more like that weird feeling when something is so cute you want to squash it?

That second one is exactly the idea of the site. At a certain point, something is just too wonderful for words, and what business does anything have being that wonderful? I think we've all seen a picture of a puppy being cared for by a chimp or a week-old baby panda opening its eyes and just felt an ache in your belly because you just can't stand how cute it is. I haven't spent enough time thinking about it to come up with a word for it yet, but Webster's should get on that.

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Signature Goth dance moves include: "Kick the Smurf," "Washing the Windows," "Changing the Lightbulb," "Sweeping the Floor," "Wiping the Cobwebs," and "Stuck in My Coffin." I went to the Vampire Convention last week and was at a loss for how to dance. If you ever find yourself in a roomful of Goths and need to bust a move, try these steps.

This video (from "Peanutgirly" in Germany) is also nicely illustrative. There is some debate as to whether her moves are truly Goth, or some type of unsanctioned hybrid.

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Jimmy Robertson, 37, of Stockholm Sweden blogs about cat ladders. You have to wonder: um, why?

How did you become interested in cat ladders? Do you really like cats? Ladders?

It started when I was unemployed a couple of years ago. I had the time to take long walks and then I discovered that there was a lot of cat-ladders in my neighborhood. One day I took pictures. When I came home I started this blog and then it has just kept on going. Nowadays I always bring my camera and when I see a ladder I take a photo of it. People all over the world sends pictures of their own ladders or of ladders they have seen.

Do you yourself own a cat?

No no, I'm allergic as hell to cats.

I had no idea that there were so many types of cat ladders. Your blog really opens my eyes to the whole phenomenon. Do you think that the cats really NEED ladders? Historically, it seems like cats have managed fairly well without them. Or maybe not?

If you live on the third floor in a suburb and have a cat you need a ladder. I don't think that the cat should be standing outside your door and have to wait that you let them in. The cats should be free and that's why I think a ladder is necessary.

You post pictures of ladders from all over the world. From what you've seen, which nation has the most cat ladders?

Three countries dominated. Germany, Switzerland and of course Sweden.

Have you ever seen a cat fall off a cat ladder? Some of those photos look like the cat is walking the plank! Some are dangerously high.

You go to talk about nuclear disarmament and end up being called a schoolgirl. Then, like, the whole world gossips about it. Don't you hate when that happens? I'm not certain how advisable it is to get into a (yet another) war of words with North Korea, but Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton did it this week. They called her a "schoolgirl" and "pensioner." She called them "unruly teenagers." North Korea's Foreign Ministry issued a statement saying:

"We cannot but regard Mrs. Clinton as a funny lady, as she likes to utter such rhetoric, unaware of the elementary etiquette in the international community. Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping."

FYI, when North Korea says "schoolgirl," this is what they mean:

Senator Clinton or North Korean schoolgirls...quite honestly, in a battle of wills, I'm not sure who would win. Though from the looks of it, North Korea needs to cool it not only with the nuclear testing, but with the dispensing of fashion advice.

Remember that Tauntaun sleeping bag that was supposedly for sale on Think Geek but wasn't, because it was April Fools and they were only kidding? So many people wanted it and got angry that it wasn't available. The company has now decided to try to bring it to life for real--if the suits at Lucasfilms will grant them a license.

Think Geek has done great April Fools prank products before (caffeinated meatloaf, anyone?), but this one was exceptional. It had the head of a Tauntaun, a fur outer lining, an inner lining with an intestine pattern, and a tiny light saber on the zipper to simulate the slicing action Han Solo performed to open the animal up so he could stuff Luke into it.

Think Geek

Photo courtsey of StuffOnMyCat.com

Thousands more like this could be yours!

Attention all you who like cats, stuff, and stuff on cats: the website "Stuff On My Cat" is up for sale.

Mario Garza, the website's creator, was 20 years old when he started the site. He is 24 years old now. Four years and 20,000 jpegs of felines later, he's decided that enough is enough. He wants to go to school. He wants to not have thousands of unopened cat photo emails in his mailbox waiting for his attention. He wants to pass on the website to someone who is truly, madly, deeply in love with cats.

And with the putting of stuff--hair curlers, or spaghetti, or bras, or beer cans, or plastic alligators--on top of them.

"I'm not exactly sure what we want for it yet," he says via phone from his home in Portland, Oregon. "We haven't thrown out any figures so far. I've never had to sell a site before. I've talked to a few website brokers who can appraise it." The problem is that website brokers can't account for Stuff On My Cat's other considerable assets: the rights to the 5,000 unpublished photos jamming his Inbox, the Stuff On My Cat books, the notepads, calendars, shirts, stationery, journals, stickers--the whole kit and kaboodle that encompasses the brand.

At its peak, circa fall of 2006, Stuff On My Cat.com was getting hundreds of thousands of hits a day. For a while, it was one of the top 100 blogs in the world. Depending on which website broker you plug the domain name into, the price tag for the site alone varies from $20,000 to $400,000. The two books published by Chronicle Books netted Garza $85,000 and $100,000 advances respectively.

"I was worried that people would revolt. I was terrified," he says of his decision to sell. "But the fans were cool. They're such a nice crowd."

Garza has thus far received offers from companies affiliated with cats, from retired folks who are looking for a second career. From the very young, to the very old. From scientists, to businessmen, to cat fanatics plain and simple.

Of the handful of friends and family who help Garza run the site, he is the only one who actually owns a cat. "People assume I'm a super cat guy, but I'm not. There are people who are way more into it than me."

"By the end of next week we'll start talking with potential buyers," he says. But he is nowhere near picking an heir. "Our last ditch effort would be to put it up on Ebay. You know, start at zero. I'd be comfortable with that. I'm always happiest doing things my way." The search will continue through the summer.

(Email Mario at buysomc-at-gmail-dot-com if interested in purchasing.)

Erin Broadley

Gary Busey joins the cast of Point Break Live! on stage

Actor Gary Busey made a special appearance at the Dragonfly on Friday night for the May 22 performance of Point Break Live!, the wildly popular punk-rock stage adaptation of the 1991 action flick Point Break that starred Busey as seasoned FBI agent and general badass, Angelo Pappas, opposite Keanu Reeves' Johnny Utah.

During the performance Busey clearly enjoyed himself, cheering and heckling from the front row, wearing his "survival kit" rain poncho, and even picking up a cap gun and Super Soaker to join the cast members for the show's final shoot-out. I joined the cast backstage after the show for what was an epic night in Point Break Live! history.

To kick off the fifth season of his FX drama Rescue Me, star Denis Leary brought a collection of fellow stand-ups (who just happened to be series regulars) together for the 11-city Rescue Me Comedy Tour... his first large-scale jaunt in 12 years. While the Saturday-night crowd seemed to be comprised mostly of out-of-towners sporting their best khakis and eager attitudes, Leary's stage presence was no-holds-barred aggression. Lenny Clarke put it best from the Nokia Theatre stage, observing to Leary at the top of his set, "I think it's safe to say you broke the 'fuck' meter tonight." Herewith, the stats*:

Leary's opening 40 minutes -- during which he showed overhead slides, poked fun at the likes of Bernie Madoff, Madonna, the Octomom and Salma Hayek's breasts, and related an uncomfortable spa incident -- through his introduction of special guest Nick DiPaolo.

Shit 11
Goddamn 7
Cock 20
Cocksucker 1
Fuck 40
Fucker 2
Fuckin' 187
Motherfucker 2

Austin Young

L.A. Weekly got a chance to talk with Margaret Cho about "Fingerbang," her upcoming March 24 musical show at Largo, before she headed over to South by Southwest last week. With an album of comedic songs in the works, Cho has been learning the guitar and working with an eclectic collection of musicians. "Fingerbang" is a roundup of the people she's worked with each month and a preview of their collaborations. Here, Cho speaks about the challenges of songwriting and some of the people and shows that inspired her to put her jokes to music.

Erica Zora Wrightson: We want to talk to you a little bit about "Fingerbang." We are excited about you being at the Largo. I was actually there last night for Zach Galifianakis.

Margaret Cho: I love him.

Yeah, he was great. There was a heckler at the show last night. Do you ever have to deal with hecklers?

MC: Oh, I don't really have to deal with that. People are really terrified of me. I don't know why, I'm very nice, but people are very intimidated by me. I've never actually had that problem.

Comedy is Dead, the excellent comedy and music revue which brightens up Hollywood Forever Cemetery's hallowed Masonic hall from time to time, was back in full force on Thursday night, and Duncan Trussell - one of the comics performing as well as one of the organizers of the show - had some questions about the mysteries of freemasonry.

"Number one, why did you build it in a graveyard? That seems a little odd. Why then, like, why did they abandon it, too? But I mean really... what's that?!" he laughs, pointing at the upside-down, rainbow-paneled pentagram hanging in the middle of the room.

If comedy is still dead, as the gang who put together the semi-regular evening of comedy thrills at Hollywood Forever continue to insist, then it's having a banner run for a dead profession. 

Take the lineup for this Thursday's "Comedy is Dead" extravaganza in the tricked-out second floor of the masonic temple on the cemetery grounds: headlining is the mighty Patton Oswalt, plus the bill includes half of Mr. Show in the form of Bob Odenkirk; Thomas Lennon, a treat even when he isn't wearing the highway hot pants of Lt. Dangle; and the gorgeous and excruciatingly funny Natasha Leggero.

Hell, even the guy opening the show - Duncan Trussell, pictured at right in the midst of what we promise is the most ridonkulously hilarious bit with a puppet you'll ever see (and now watch him not do it Thursday) - is cream of the crop.

Still not enough?How about an acoustic set afterward with Sebadoh and Folk Implosion guru Lou Barlow, his first L.A. appearance in two years?Yeah, you'll hate yourself Friday if you miss this.

"Comedy Is Dead" at Hollywood Forever, Thursday, March 12 at 9 p.m.; doors at 8 p.m.; $10. Click here for our coverage of the December lineup featuring Sarah Silverman and Mary-Lynn Rajskub.

Random Thing Found on Internet - Part 1



Top 5 WTF "Carnival in Rio" Moments: a YouTube Scavenger Hunt

5. @1:17 "To Brazilians especially men..."
The moment this one pops out you know you're in for a trainwreck.

4. @2:13
Arnold WRT: "Favorite body part." (Hint, hint... it's not the pectoral.)

3. @2:30 "But like everything else in Brazil..."
Woah, watch it with the innuendo there Carnivator.

2. @4:05 "I learned one word yesterday..."
I just Googled "punda," and it's as bad as you think it should be.

1. @4:20 "Now I teach you some English..."
This needs no explanation. And you will never look at carrots in the same way again.

Shortly after he became an American citizen, Mr. Universe went to Brazil and the Internets reaped the bounty. When I first encountered this video my mind went into a kernel panic, I was shocked that the same guy who declared his allegiance to the [redacted] in 1983 was allowed to make present day legislative decisions (as a Republican none the less).

Julie Seabaugh

Unfortunately the "No Cameras" policy is strictly enforced even during the most jocular of birthday celebrations, thus the friends-heavy (Andy Richter and Jon Reep were among those spotted milling about beforehand) audience attending "40 Years of Steve Agee" Monday at Largo have only their memories. Mary Lynn Rajskub's fleeting crotch shot shall remain un-Flickered. Not a single image of Tig Notaro relocating the mic stand into the aisles and onto a patron's lap shall circulate. Nary a photo of the sniffly birthday boy -- who only hours before noted his attempt to "build a dam in his nose to stop whatever it is from running out" via Facebook update -- recalling the time he lovingly placed his testicles atop a bathroom scale. Nor of the ensuing leg cramp that nearly felled him during the onstage reenactment. And certainly only those watching in rapt attention will forever have the hilarious horror of the Sarah Silverman Program player's ample buttocks mooning Notaro from between rear stage curtains seared onto their numbed, violated retinas.

The show began traditionally enough, with Comic's Comic and go-to audience warm-up workhorse Brody Stevens shouldering hosting duties. From stream-of-conscious storytelling to mining humor from the subtlest variations in tone and rhythm, Stevens alternated in-your-face and enlightened effacing, self-regulating his act in a form of meta-comedy that continues to defy comparison.

Barackula is a short political horror rock musical about young Barack Obama having to stave off a secret society of vampires at Harvard when he was inducted into presidency at the Harvard Law Review in 1990. Obama (Justin Sherman) finds that he must convince the vampire society that opposing political philosophies can coexist or else the society may transform Obama to the dark side.

With under a week to go until the inauguration of Barack Obama, virtually no-one seems to be mourning the exit of George W. Bush - particularly not the residents of New Orleans, following Monday's bone-headed comments by 43 regarding his administration's response to Hurricane Katrina. (Which we feel compelled to preface before the following blog: No laughing matter, folks.)

That said, a key exception to this rule would be the comedy community - in particular the writers of late-night television, who inevitably get a bit misty for an outgoing president's value as comedy material, and Dubya was certainly a cornucopia for them during his tenure. This time, though, it may not merely be those who make a living making us laugh who are losing their golden goose, but the innumerable Toms, Dicks and Harrys who in today's global pop-culture canon can express their god-given right to take a swipe at the commander in chief through the magic of the Internet. Bush, for better or worse (and rarely for worse), was the first president of the YouTube generation, and as such, plenty of memorable giggles came our way at his expense from ordinary folks with a little (and sometimes, a lot) of time on their hands.

Thus, we salute our favorite joker-vigilantes with a collection of Dubya-related YouTube classics - not nearly all of them, but a handful designed to demonstrate the full breadth of yuks in the past eight years, laid out for your perusal in a handy fashion by range of the skill and creativity involved. Call it our own version of the Homeland Security threat levels... Comedy Edition!



Comedy Threat Level: Green
The "One-Finger Victory Salute"
Granted, not a whole lot of time and energy on the part of the perpetrators here, other than the usual time (depending on your connection speed) it takes to upload a video on YouTube. The clip, however, speaks for itself: Bush while he was still governor of Texas, on local television, clearly unaware (or at least not bothered) that the cameras were still rolling to catch his naughty finger-gesture in all its glory.  What's funny here isn't so much the gesture itself as the fact that it can now be perpetuated, over and over, for the whole world to "enjoy" as often as they like.

Highlight: "Were we rollin' tape on that?!" - painfully obvious now, isn't it?

(All photos by Shannon Cottrell. Click images for entire Devils Playground slideshow.)

CFIWest / Steve Allen Theater, Hollywood
May 7

(l-r) Scott Thompson, Dave Foley, Bruce McCulloch

A line of comedy fans dozens deep snaked around the corner of Berendo and Hollywood Wednesday night - and not all of them made it in - for a secret late-show warmup from the Kids in the Hall, about to embark on their North American summer tour. The Steve Allen Theater has been a cozy little home away from Tronno for the revered Canadian sketch comedy troupe in the past couple of years; all of them have performed and screened various projects at the Center for Inquiry West’s H’wood home, most recently Scott Thompson and Kevin McDonald's one-man shows. Last night's packed house was treated to "The Final Kiss," a hilarious gory short (makeup by KNB FX - gnarly!) co-starring Thompson and Dave Foley (and directed by Allen artistic director Amit Itelman), as well as a live set which while devoid of material from the upcoming tour nevertheless struck a chord (or several) with the die-hards in the audience.

Anyone who missed out is SOL for this Friday’s Orpheum Theater KITH show, which is sold out like a mutha. However, as Foley and Thompson noted at the top of the evening, The Grove of Anaheim gig is apparently still half empty for tonight. (“There are scalpers out on the street crying,” Foley noted. “Please come.”)

McCulloch and Kevin McDonald

Mark McKinney and Foley

They're so sweet and innocent. Photos by Rena Kosnett.

Writing about the experience of seeing Tim & Eric’s Awesome Show Great Job! live on tour would be akin to dancing about architecture—some weird, fucked up architecture. It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.

One certainty is that the live show is a thousand times better than seeing Tim & Eric on TV, or watching videos on Youtube, because in addition to watching and hearing them, you can smell and taste Tim & Eric as well. Some highlights: an instructional video about properly poisoning your child clown slave, Papa John’s email upgrades, a prayer for Robin Williams, enlarged testicle bodysuits, a video with John C. Reilly eating paninis prepared with horse grease and then saying "Ooh, it smells like horse."

Flight of the Conchords
Amoeba Records in-store, April 24

Clement (left) and McKenzie

There’s a lot of l’amour in this room tonight. The racks of CDs and LPs are sandwiched left and right with the faithful, who know every lyric and are toting signage of such desirous dedication as “Brit Bret, Will You Take Me To the Prom?” and the immortal “You’re So Hot, You’re Making Me Sexist.” Amoeba’s in-store performance for Flight of the Conchords’ debut LP is veritable fandemonium; it’s a long cry from the usual scenario on their HBO series, where they’re usually stuck in the corner of a dark basement New York club strumming to the delight of Mel (Kristen Schaal), their one and only fan.

Comedy Meltdown 2: Electric Boogaloo
Meltdown Comics, January 25th

Who needs too-tightly packed tables and a two drink minimum, especially if there’s an option to pick up a Buffy The Vampire Slayer omnibus and a maquette of Sub-Mariner before the show? Arguably LA’s best recurring comedy show in town is tucked away in the back of Meltdown Comics on Sunset once a month, a free Friday night lineup in the store’s gallery featuring top-notch talent riffing large under the harsh glare of a bank of fluorescents instead of the usual spotlight. (Which might not help when it gets a little chilly in that back room, particularly on stormy January nights, but the open bar warms things up a bit. Yeah, I know… free and an open bar. Dude!) (Above right: Blaine Capatch)

Booker Linda Pine secures ace talent, which for the event’s sophomore outing on Friday night was emceed by lightning-quick Blaine Capatch; after his own set, including a terrific bit on deep and abiding loathing of personalized license plates (So "U2POOH" is definitely expressing one’s love of the Disney bear, right? And not a scatological request), Capatch managed to work some terrific improv into the night’s ongoing trivia contest with properly geektastic questions including which Batman villain was a zoologist (Man-Bat) and which band originally owned the rights to A Clockwork Orange (that’d be the Rolling Stones – and I got that one right, dammit, only I didn’t speak up loud enough to be heard over the peanut gallery in the first row… more on them later.

(Above: Jonah Ray)

Next up, Jonah Ray, Tecate in hand, singing the praises of internet downloads and laying into Lars Ulrich something good; and a grousing Mark Voyce scoffing sarcastically at how far he’s come to get to the back room of a comics store.

(Above: Mark Voyce)