Breaking News: Michael Jackson Is "Very Angry" About Own Tragic Death

Categories: Off the Record

Mediabistro is linking to an amazing scoop by KTLA's crack reporter Brandon Rudat, who apparently just managed to secure Michael Jackson's first post-mortem interview.

psychicMJ.jpg
Stay classy, KTLA

Channeling the spirit of the dead King of Pop through "world-renowned psychic" Vox (sp?), the always-tasteful local news outlet reported the following *EXCLUSIVE* nuggets of insight into this year's greatest tragedy:

* Michael Jackson loved his children

* he really loved to sing "We Are The World"

* he did not want to die tragically


* he's tormented about the tabloid pictures of his corpse (which the helpful folks at KTLA will repeatedly rebroadcast so that you know what MJ is so tormented about)

* he feels "emotional pain" and is "absolutely mortified" about the molestation allegations

* he absolutely does not want his children to be raised by their biological mother, who, according to the spectral singer, has "a lot of addictive personality problems." (Ed's note: neither West Coast Sound nor world-renowned psychic Vox wish to defame any person living or astral.)

* he does not like This Is It (too rehearsey) and does not wish you to go see it

Good job, KTLA. Stay classy.

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