Extremely NSFW: "Zooey Deschanel" Amateur Erotic Video Sold Online Not Really LA Singer/Actress/Hipster Crush Icon Zooey Deschanel (See For Yourself)

Buyer Beware: This cute indie chick who likes to touch herself on webcam, not actually Zooey Deschanel

Some douchebags are trying to sell an amateur porn video purporting to depict She & Him singer, indie actress and overall hipster object of crush Zooey Deschanel having alone sexxytime in front of a webcam.

They made a logo and everything and even watermarked the stills (the whole sordid mess is ironized here by Hipster Runoff).

Well, it's not Zooey. How do we know this? Because, as an anonymous (or would that be "Anonymous") tipster pointed out, the whole "exclusive, secret" tape is in fact available to anyone for free on one of those free porn websites everyone pretends they've never been to.

Wanna see the vaguely Zooey-lookalike, not-at-all Zooey girl getting all touchy with herself for her webcam?:

Before we take you to the link, we want to point out the video is SEXUALLY EXPLICIT. THERE'S VAGINA AND ALTERNATIVE BREASTS. THERE'S ANUS. THERE ARE ROVING HANDS GOING ALL OVER THOSE BODY PARTS. THERE'S ALSO A GLASS PIPE USUALLY ASSOCIATED WITH POT-SMOKING.

This video is MOST DEFINITELY NSFW (Not Safe For Work) and if you live or work in a place that has a problem with yourself or other people viewing pornography, we strongly recommend YOU DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW. We have not posted this video, we're not hosting in and we do not know who posted it.

If you click on the link below, you're on your own, we're not responsible for your actions and you're accepting all responsibility for looking at a video of a girl who kind of looks like Zooey Deschanel being self-sensual in front of a webcam.

Ok? Seriously?

Are you sure?: