Nightmares on Wax: Top Ten Creepy Musician Wax Figures (which You Can Buy for Your Home)

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Yesterday, we witnessed the Biebs on wax. No, we're not just talking about the Bieber scratchin' vinyl. That's right, like Han Solo being encased in Carbonite, the Canadian teen sensation was forever immortalized as a wax figure at Madame Tussaud's in London. Then it happened. While staring into the Nietzschean abyss of wax-Biebs' dead eyes, I remembered the results of a insomniac Google search that has polluted my memory ever since: Musician Wax Figures. In the depths of this after-hours search (Googling "Katy Perry Sesame Street Cleavage " would have been less embarrassing), I found a creeptastic gold mine. In 2009, the Hollywood Wax Museum "retired" some of their aging figures, and put them up for auction by Profiles in History. Finally, the (scary) wax likenesses of Michael Jackson, Cher, and Cindi Lauper (?) could be yours! In honor of the Biebster's induction to the pantheon of waxtastrophes, we compiled our Top Ten Creepy Musician Wax Figures (with a bonus figure, cause ours goes to 11) for your viewing (dis)pleasure:

It's interesting to see an actual price put on these musicians. Their price must fluctuate with how famous they are at any moment. How does Cher measure up to Michael Jackson? Why are they both worth more than Jesus (and Cindi Lauper)? These wax figures aren't just collectors items, they could be used as currency, or stocks. In a volatile market, only wax will prevail.

11. Bruce Springsteen

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From the Catalog: The Boss", is featured wearing his signature blue jeans and white t-shirt made popular by his critically acclaimed "Born in the U.S.A." album. The head was sculpted in wax by Logan Fleming and portrait painted in oil. The figure wears blue jeans, jean jacket, white t-shirt and red bandana (no shoes). Stands approx. 5 ft. 10 in. tall. Expected price $2,000 - $3,000

Starting Bid $1,000

Optimal Question: Where are your feet, Bruce?
Creepiness factor: 6

10. Willie Nelson

Willie Nelson.jpg

From the Catalog: Legendary country singer-songwriter, author, and poet, the figure wears signature blue jeans, leather belt, jean jacket, open collar white shirt, black t-shirt, and red bandana. Made by Logan Fleming, the figure feathres a sculpted wax head portrait painted in oil. Stands approximately 6 ft. 1 in. tall. Expected price $2,000 - $3,000

Starting Bid $1,000

Optimal question: Did you eat too many Sour Patch Kids, Willie?
Creepiness factor: 7

9. Barbra Streisand

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From the Catalog: An incredibly detailed likeness of multiple Emmy, Grammy and Golden Globe-winning singer and actress Barbra Streisand. The figure wears a black satin gown and fitted jacket. No shoes are included with the figure which stands approximately 5 ft. 8 in. tall. Expected price $2,000 - $3,000

Starting Bid $1,000

Optimal Question: Why is Babs poised to deliver a gruesome karate chop?
Creepiness Factor: 4

8. Stevie Wonder.

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From the Catalog: Legendary musician Stevie Wonder wears a custom-made suit with blue diamond pattern jacket, black shirt, and bold print tie. His braided hair is tied with dozens of beads. A beautiful figure with loads of detail. The wax head was sculpted by Hollywood Wax Museum curator Ken Horn and portrait painted in oil. Stands approximately 6 ft. tall. Expected price $2,000 - $3,000

Starting Bid $1,000
Optimal Question: Why does Stevie resemble the Predator?
Creepiness factor: 6


7. Michael Jackson: Thriller

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Starting Bid $2,000"Zombie" Michael Jackson, male zombie, and female zombie from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video. These exceptionally realistic figures were produced by Hollywood Wax Museum curator Ken Horn at the time of Michael Jackson's critically- acclaimed song, "Thriller". The face and hands of the Michael Jackson zombie are painted green, and he wears a reproduction of the signature red leather jacket and red pants which have faded to pale pink.

Starting Bid $2,000

Optimal Question: Why does MJ look like a green Charlie Sheen?
Creepiness factor: 9

6. Cindi Lauper

Cindi.jpg

From the Catalog: Eccentric pop singer Cyndi Lauper, who has sold over 25 million records, wears a replica of her famed costume and hairstyle from pop video "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" (1983). The hands and head are sculpted from wax and portrait painted in oil. Stands approximately 5 ft. 6 in. tall. Expected price $1,000 - $1,500

Starting Bid $500

Optimal Question: Did you escape from Fraggle Rock?
Creepiness factor: 6.5


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3 comments
Whatajoke
Whatajoke

These are all incredibly bad and who would pay more than 2 cents for any of the figures? They all don't look anything like the celebrities. The one figure looks like Mae West dressed up as Dolly Parton.

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