Worst Press Conference Ever: Jacksons Announce Tribute Concert in Friggin' Wales

By Ben Westhoff Mon., Jul. 25 2011 at 1:23 PM

Ben Westhoff

"Reminder to photographers: If you get out of your seat, you'll get kicked out," warned the flack at the Beverly Hills Hotel, shortly before the arrival of five Jacksons and three white guys, there to announce the details of the big Michael Jackson tribute concert.

Only, they really didn't announce anything, other than the location -- Millennium Stadium, which is in Cardiff, which is in Wales -- and the date, October 8th. Some charities were also namedropped, one having to do with the Princess of Wales, naturally, and the AIDS Project Los Angeles. In fact, La Toya ceded the floor to a representative from that org, only to be told that he wasn't here because he'd been in a car accident on the way over. (I will sort of resist the urge to make a joke about La Toya's face freezing upon hearing the news.)

As for the performers, well, those will be rolled out as slowly as first week sales of 20 Y.O., starting tomorrow. There will be more press conferences and video feeds to hype up the event but, even if they have more fresh blackberries, chocolate croissants and a piano player doing "Rock with You" I won't be back.

Why?

Ben Westhoff

It's not that the Jacksons didn't look great; in fact, they're all aging spectacularly. La Toya, dressed in a shoulder-less black jacket with golden leaves overlaid with, um, gold leaf, has somehow lapped Janet in the looks Olympics. Otherwise, their aesthetic appeals can be best conveyed quantitatively.

Number of Jacksons Wearing Sunglasses: Two, Jackie and Marlon.
Number of Jacksons Wearing Hats: One, Tito.
Style of Tito's Hat: Bowling.

Marlon noted that the press had taken shots at the family before (wha?!), but that the warmth in the room right now made up for it. This was shortly after a guy screamed at me for raising my arms to take a cameraphone picture.

Jackson Who Talks Most Like Michael: Jackie. "It's gonna be one of the biggest concerts ever," he said in a near-whisper.
Jackson Who Looks Most Like Michael: La Toya, duh.

She added that Michael was in the Guinness Book for giving to the most charities, which I'm willing to believe. My nominee for the book? Chris Hunt, from Global Live Events, the folks putting on this extravaganza, which is by the way called the Michael Forever Tribute. His Record? Most Disingenuous Charitable Donation in History, by way of the $100,000 trust fund he announced for Prince, Paris, and Blanket, which will mature when they turn 21. Katherine proceeded to accept a check or a promissory note or something from him, further cementing the myth that this event wasn't mainly about making each of these panelists wealthier.

I shouldn't complain, though, considering I got something myself.

Tags:

Jackie Jackson, Jacksons, Katherine Jackson, La Toya, Marlon Jackson, Tito Jackson

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Blocked 1

Wuz 'bout duh music? Sometime, some...? NOT. Not even... alit'l pitchy comment. awhy, & the race card? ...mus could b... hav somethin' 2 do wit his b'n a W-skin. (see pic.) Absolutely? No need "to create a picture of the subject for the reader." Seen here, sold out, promoting MJ " Tribute Concert in ' Friggin' ' Wales. " (attention - Mr. Spell Chek, F James) "A free T-shirt!" huh, nothing in life is free. How 'bout at least accurate & fair Jazz listings? Respectfully.

TorduDeRire

This Tribute Concert started off on the wrong foot. First, the ticket pricing was convoluted and too controversial. And it's getting more and more frivolous by the minute. The whole thing may very well be a big ripoff!! Could we trust the Jackson Family at this point? Remember the Jackson Tribute Fragrances Scheme, another shameful exploitation that died of a quick and ugly death. Please Read: http://jacksontributefragrance...

Or Google up: "The Jackson Tribute Fragrances" to read an important blog that reveals the corruption behind it.

welshguy

The title of this article is offensive to the people of Wales including myself! What is the actual point of this article btw?

Blanaid Granahan

Wales is a beautiful part of the world and neither "friggin" nor to be held responsible for the mess inflicted upon us. And I concur, there may be other ways to get the message across than dissing people like you do here.

Patron

Perhaps a better word choice or what the new music editor meant to write is frickin'. A less harsh adjective used to describe almost anything. Usually spoken in a state of anger or sarcasm.

Bonadea

Poor Michael. Nothing more to say.

Brummel

This article is absolutely the best reflection on the upcomming Jackson mess! Thanks a lot!

Helena Willcox

Regardless of your views on this tribute Ben your "article" is just down right mean and a smart ass attempt on being a smart ass.Grow up.There are better ways to get your point across without making fun of family that Michael loved.

woodymcbreairty

These people are starting to look like a bunch of clowns in a traveling circus. They seem to have no respect for Michael Jackson's dignity and won't stop until they suck every dime out of his memory. Sad to see...