Why This Song Sucks: Rihanna's 'We Found Love'

Why This Song Sucks: Rihanna's "We Found Love"

By Shea Serrano Wed., Oct. 26 2011 at 5:30 AM

[Editor's note: Why This Song Sucks determines why particular tracks blow using science. It appears on West Coast Sound every Wednesday.]

Song: Rihanna's "We Found Love," featuring Calvin Harris

History: "We Found Love" is the first single from Rihanna's sixth album, Talk That Talk. It was bad when it was released, then became mildly interesting when the video was debuted because everyone thought they were the only one to notice the parallels between Rihanna's relationship with the guy in the video and her relationship with Chris Brown. Shortly thereafter, everyone remembered, "Oh yeah, that's right, this song stinks."

Atmospherics: Here, the first 0:50 are made to resemble Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet. The last 3:46 are meant to resemble every electro-pop track that's ever been successful. It was produced by Calvin Harris. Harris is kind of famous in Europe for saying that he invented disco but mostly famous because he knows Kylie Minogue. It is synthesized chaos, and Rihanna, talented as she is, is overwhelmed entirely by it. You know the part in The Matrix 2 where Neo fights all of the Agent Smiths? This is like that, except Rihanna hasn't figured out that she can fly away yet.

Scientific Analysis: As loaded with social commentary as it supposedly is, "We Found Love" is structurally hollow. The lyrics are vacant.

To wit, in video form, the song is 270 seconds long, about half of which is Rihanna singing "We found love in a hopeless place." I thought this possibly inaccurate, so I searched the A-Z Lyrics site to see them written out. This page came up:

In total, there are 206 words in the entire song; 112 belong to the sentence "We found love in a hopeless place." That's 54 percent, bro. In graph form:

Tags:

Calvin Harris, Rihanna, We Found Love, Why This Song Sucks

We Recommend

thesaviorsoldier

The reason why this song sucks is because the same lyrics are being spewed out and puked out of someones mouth over and over again non stop.

John Doe

Yep, this boring, repetitive song is a major piece of crap.

It's even worse than Nicki Minaj's "Moment For Life," which is also dreadfully repetitive and lame. They actually sound nearly identical, especially the end of the Minaj track.

What kind of idiots listen to this stuff and think, "Wow, now that's a great song?"

Chris Brown

Obviously tone deaf idiots that indulge in incredibly repetitive garbage song lyrics over techno trash.

Even children's nursery rhymes and songs are less repetitive and that's to cater to kids that can barely form 8 word sentences because they are learning. What's Rihanna's excuse?

Billy Whitman

I'm sure you could have pointed out much more about this song being terrible. The fact that the beat is constant and has little to no change. The fact that there are no more than 3 actual lines sung. The fact that what should be a transition does absolutely nothing at all. It's just a rhythmic beep that raises half steps for what seems like ages. This might be the worst song I've ever heard.

Chevybowtie25

Yes I love the article and this song is total garbage, singing the same lyrics over and over again and then mixing it with a stupid ass beat that overtakes the song makes it even worse and shows that the writer of the song has absolutely no talent.

Lethalfbaby

I'm pretty sure those boots are Drakes......seeing how they were smitten for awhile caused her to get checked in the face by breezy's fist..........just saying.

And for the record I too also read aloud the comment with "men" at the end of every other sentence. $h*t still doesn't make sense to me........

John Doe

Drake's feet turn backwards? That's some trick. (If they were his, the toes would be pointed at the ceiling).

Asjfk

What's funny is I looked it up and it never said that it gave me the lyrics. There are also many people who love this song because rihanna is awesome your article means nothing

Caroline Marie Russell

You're not too bright, are you?

Mano

shes earns tons of money with her "bad" music, and ur just wasting your sad time writing this hate article.who sucks now?you.

Billy Whitman

So.... Success and talent are directly related now? When did this start?

Windteadlauren

She just wants her point to come across , this song was probably mainly just for the video if you haven't seen the video you prObably won't like it

Pauline Adamek

"(IV) Rihanna's feet are unnecessarily large."

true dat.

dang, indeed.

good try, but no

Someone sounds like they're 'hating', had to use that term, as well, imean attacking the woman's feet? Imean really? Sounds like red herring to me!

Rick

I wonder if UK would agree with this lame author... according to Billboard it's no.1 there. Who cares if a nobody thinks it sucks using "science"?, in science all variables are accounted for to express a result, so if Billboard's UK list shows that it does not sucks by being at the top, I would at least consider, by mere common sense, that this song can't possible suck. Furthermore, I reviewed the A-Z Lyrics site and it looks like the image used on the article is fake. Therefore, using the same science technique applied by this pseudo-autor, is WHY THIS COLUMN SUCKS. booooommmm

bob

Ya I looked it up to didn't see it..

West Coast Sound

You almost had us, man.

Shea Serrano

"Furthermore, I reviewed the A-Z Lyrics site and it looks like the image in the article used is fake."

I mean... dude.

Ilisac

GWARL PLZ SIT DownEEE!! !! Imma BETCH slap ya ASS

whiteknuckleflyer

Hilarious commentary here. Very funny. Laughed out loud on multiple occasions. While I disagree with your overall feelings of this track, they are valid. She does repeat the same lyrics over and over but it IS a dance track and you get one (lyrics) or the other (dance beats!!) in my opinion. I can't wait to be dancing to this in a club. So overall, excellent writing. Made my day. Are you on twitter?

Shea Serrano

Kind words.

@guidetohouston

Cassady_b

I love this video & song! I totally disagree with this article.

kunle kesh

this joint is sick.....i listen to it atleast 20 times a day...just love her voice on the techno/electro beat....this is good MUSIC men!! I'm a Rihanna fan NOW men, she killed it...the video is crazy..tho strange cos it has two crazy dope head lovers (yeah, d dude looks like my home boy Chris Breezy..so??)..

Rihanna ur d bomb, u won with this song (yeah, I loved what's my name too..)kisses, kisses, kisses!!!

Galen

What is the significance of the word "men" in your sentences? For example, "MUSIC men!!" and "NOW men". I even read the sentences aloud to try and figure it out to no success. Are you addressing all men about this heartbreaking work of musical genius? Or maybe it's a new thing to capitalize any word preceding your necessary use of the word "men" in each sentence?

Fred

I had no idea she was English ! Or was that someone else in the intro? In the UK they call that accent "mockney", i.e. pseudo cockney.

trevor

no they don't. It's not a "mockney" or even a cockney accent, it's a northern english accent. Sounds like an authentic Yorkshire accent to me.

Shea Serrano

No. I was confused with that too. That's actually another woman. Her name escapes me. I thinks it's Agnyess Deyn, though I'm not certain about the spelling.