Thoughts From A Random Black Guy: A Poem About Herman Cain, aka H-Money

Frank Miles

"Stupid people are ruining America" is probably the smartest thing I've heard Herman Cain say. Unfortunately, I believe he belongs in that group.

When I first saw this guy on TV, I thought they'd let some ignorant old black dude on TV talk shit about politics. Once I found out he was running for the presidency, however, all I could do was shake my head.

Herman Cain reminds me of the old black guys who sit in front of Starbucks or hang out at the barbershop and just talk crap all day. They are mad at the world for no reason, and 97 percent of the time have no idea what the fuck they are talking about. The way I see it, Herman Cain has become the spokesperson for those people.

I wanted to write a poem, but I decided to let my Asian amigo Matt write it for me. (He's really Mexican.)

When Mayans made the calendar and started to dissect it,
They ended at 2012 just in case Herman gets elected
I'm occupying my city, hoping I don't get arrested
Ignorance spreads quicker than AIDS, I'm hoping you all get tested

Not in your local clinic but at the voting booth
Five fingers per hand but I'm only showing two
We see past your glasses and those pinstripe suits,
Uncle Cain or Uncle Thomas, yes I'm talking to you

"If you're not rich, blame yourself," one of his many quotes
Hard to agree when our economy is the Titanic of sinking boats
Only those beyond conservative will cheer and listen
Now it's beyond obvious that there's too many chefs in your campaign kitchen