Henry Rollins: The Column! For Those Suffering Valentine's Day Heartbreak

By Henry Rollins Tue., Feb. 14 2012 at 4:00 AM

[Look for your weekly fix from the one and only Henry Rollins right here on West Coast Sound every Thursday, and come back tomorrow for the awesomely annotated playlist for his Saturday KCRW broadcast.]

One of the best romantic messengers is, of course, music. And then when it's over and you are at the bottom of the well, there is music for that situation, too. When you are on your feet again and ready to get back into the game, there is also a soundtrack to herald your great return. Basically, when it comes to matters of the heart, there is a song for that. In fact, there are a bunch of them.

The ecstatic insanity of romantic pursuit can be so enhanced by music that entire romantic conquests, victories and ruinous, crushing defeats can be tied to songs to such a degree that it's almost unbearable to listen to them again, as they bring back the memories so vividly.

Many of us can connect to songs many major moments of our lives. Hearing them again, especially if it's a song associated with a breakup, can elicit a strong response.

I don't want to generalize, but I wonder if it's the breakup songs that lodge more firmly in the memory than the songs from happier moments. I think that humans have a huge capacity to carry pain and sadness. There are things that haunt us our entire lives; we are unable to let them go. The good times seem almost effervescent and dreamlike in comparison with the times that didn't go so well.

Some songs are a salve for the wounded heart, others prolong the misery but somehow help ease the torment, some are painful reminders that cannot be visited for years afterward. (One is reminded of the song "Don't Play That Song [You Lied]," written by Ahmet Ertegun and Betty Nelson and sung by Ben E. King.) There are songs that are incredibly evocative but don't necessarily fall into any of these categories, they're just happening. Let's discuss, shall we?

Tags:

Henry Rollins, Valentine's Day

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lindsey

I just going to put this out there: I love you Henry.

sara dinatale

One of the best break up albums ever is "Broken and Other Rogue States" by Canadian musician/ songwriter Luke Doucet. Each song touches some aspect of that wildly swinging post-break up pendulum.

Philip Lovecraft

Today it's "Santa Fe" by the Drive-By Truckers and "When Will I See You Again" by The Three Degrees.

Coelacanth Fanatic

Jennie V. :

I read Henry's article and the posted responses this morning (today is 2/16/12) . Funny--- around 20 minutes till midnight on Valentine's Day, I downloaded various songs (too many to mention here). Three of the songs were different versions of "I Will Survive": Gloria Gaynor's, Celia Cruz's, and Cake's. Today, I downloaded some of the songs Henry mentioned in his article plus, another version of "I Will Survive" sung by the Pussycat Dolls, yes, The PUSSYCAT DOLLS. Wow, I'd never heard that version before and I actually l o v e d it.

My only "love" related heartbreak is the fact that I've never truly found anyone to share myself with as ALL of my relationships have been all wrong for one reason or another.

Happy Belated Valentine's Day, girl! ( ;

Jennie Vasquez

Never heard any of the other versions if I Will Survive before, all interesting and good. I'm music ignorant so there's lots I haven't heard including most of what Henry listed. I wish more people would comment on their favorite heartbreak songs as it's interesting to look up and listen to what others suggest. I keep thinking of more songs and the list is endless. I forgot to mention "Crying Time Again" by Buck Owens and :Vaya Con Dios" covered by many. I like the Gene Autry version and the Pedro Infante version in Spanish is the saddest thing to hear. In Spanish there is also "Tal Vez" by Ricki Martin and "No Me Ensenaste" by Thalia. I could go into all the Sam Cooke songs that relate but there are so many. There are like a gazillion soul songs from his era that fit the bill too.

I know the article is in reference to romantic love but heartbreak can mean different things to different people. Most of my heartbreaks have been loses of people and loses of close friendships but I think the songs can relate to any type of heartbreak. On a lighter note, my point of reference for what love should be is the song "I Wanna Be Loved Like That" by Shanandoah. If you can find love like that, you're good to go.

Stone Mad Dave

I was doing fine until you mentioned Starry Eyes... god damn that woman! Cheers for the great post Henry. But yes, music is embedded in our genetic memory, from it's origins as ritualistic music, it still retains those semi-religious sensations, evoking emotion and colouring memory.

I don't want to sound creepy crawly but I must admit I find these last weeks (suffering I tell you! Damn that Starry Eyed angel!) I've been pounding my brain with quite a bit of Rollins Band, Almost Real still resonates and helps me through this.

Dave

C UU

"Wild One" makes me cry every time... First when my cat ran away, then when my mom died... That man had some serious soul.

Jennie Vasquez

I can see how that song can make you cry especially with the loss of your mom. That can be a really tough loss.

Jennie Vasquez

Wow, judging by how many people have already liked this page today, there are a whole bunch of people who have suffered Valentine's Day heartbreak. I truly hope someone somewhere found a way to give Henry a big ole heart shaped box of chocolates. I know I need one after going down memory lane and thinking of all the sad breakup songs I could relate to. We could all come up with an endless list.

I'm somewhat of a country girl so I go with what I know. Nothing says sad and depressing like a good old country song. Hank Williams Sr. is definitely the go to guy for country heartbreak. " I'm so Lonesome I Could Cry" or or course one of the most perfect country songs ever "There's A Tear in my Beer". Then of course there is "He Stopped Loving Her Today" by George Jones or one of my heartbreak favorites "Without You What Do I Do With Me" by Tanya Tucker. That one reminds me of my mentor who died near Valentines Day 15 years ago so it's really sad.

Oh well, we'll all make it through another Valentine's Day thanks in part to music that can remind us that even though we might be alone we are going to be just fine. I must go listen to "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor now. Hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day full of love regardless if it is romantic love or love from close friends or family that love you just the way you are.

Jackiej630

YOur all I need" by Motley crueSome kind of Stranger" by Sisters of Mercy

Eoin

I'm surprised he left out Thin Lizzy's "Still In Love With You"

Jason

I am still thanking you Henry for "Disappearing Act" and "Stray" on Come in and Burn Sessions. I lived that same situation like a year prior to hearing those two songs.

Tracidacious

There's No One Like You, By The Scorpians was my love in a bug song. Don't You Want Me Baby was that guy with warts. Now all I hear is Tom Waits- Kiss Me. yea, you're right.