Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time: The Complete List
The all-mighty arbiter of SoCal cool, Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski was famously willing to be thrown out of a cab because he hated the fucking Eagles, and you should be too. Soporific Laurel Canyon coke rock whose chief existential lament seems to be "What toppings should I get on my burrito?" the Eagles are the quintessential band for a decade whose favorite barbiturate was the Quaalude. -Jeff Weiss
See also: The Eagles' "Hotel California": Why This Song Sucks
1. Dave Matthews Band ![]()
"Once upon a time/When the world was just a pancake/Fears would arise/That if you went too far you'd fall/But with the passage of time/It all became more of a ball." -Some Dave Matthews lyrics
You want a real American Horror story? Sit in the back of an SUV with off-key sorority house members singing along to Dave Matthews Band. "Dave" is a jam act with no jams. They make Perrier seem vibrant and ethnic. Dave Matthews croons like Kermit with a hangover, for a presumed intended audience of trustafarians and frat bros bonding via hacky sack and horseshoes. Them, and folks whose favorite book is The Da Vinci Code and favorite TV show is Two and a Half Men. They are permanently beige, the sonic instantiation of Ambercrombie & Fitch cargo shorts, South Carolina Gamecocks hats, and flip-flops flailing. -Jeff Weiss
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