Henry Rollins: The Column! The Ugly World of eBay Hustling

randyvogel

Right on Henry! An excellent, thoughtful piece, as usual!!

Canadagraphs

Henry, as an autograph seller myself, I actually applaud the fact that you are calling out this practice publicly. Everyone who is on my side of things has seen someone use this racket more than once, and ALMOST ALWAYS with resounding success.I live in a community of 20+ kids under 18, all of whom their parents would happily let me take out on 1 of my adventures (even had several ask me "can you take them to meet so & so") and I decline, because I dont want to be seen as "that guy". Just 2 days ago, 1 of the dealers here had 2 female friends come out with him, with their 3 kids, 1 still a toddler, all there with vinyls for Roger Waters. Roger of course signed for them, because hes just a nice guy, and even signed 2 or 3 for the kids each. So that dealer ended up with 8-10 items while the rest of us respected things & got 1, maybe 2.

I applaud that you recognize there is a business there, and that you dont disrespect it. By willingly signing some for the people you are pretty certain are going to sell, I respect that, and frankly, its hearing things like that that will make me more likely to give someones music/film/show a chance.

I'm not going to say who, but a pretty conic name said 1 time "its better to sign an autograph for someone than say no, because you never know if you just slighted a big fan, or a potential fan"... and its true. As I often tell people when they look down on my job & say "your just going to sell it" I reply "how do you know I'm not a fan?". Autograph hounds are fans of stuff too. I have nearly 1000 autographs in my collection, they arent going anywhere.... I just happen to have sold much more than that. Those autograhs in my collection are only of people I want, people who treated me with a level of respect, and whose work I actively support. Also known as - a fan.

Cant wait for you to someday come thru here again, I will actually go out & make the effort now to get your autograph(s) (and yeah, I know you have been here before).. and give you the chance to create a new fan.

Again, congrats on calling out the guy(s) using kids.

HORNDOGS_2K12

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Kennedy Kits

How about a "body parts only" policy? That way, only your most devoted fans will get their arms, necks and asses signed. And body parts are much more difficult to sell on eBay.

Jennie Vasquez

In theory that is a great idea. In reality, have you seen some people's body part? I'm not sure that would be a pleasant experience for the artist or the fan. I've always wondered about ladies who have their breasts signed. Maybe it's because I'm not well endowed and was raised too modest but the thought of exposing my itty bitties to be signed is revolting and I'd be way too worried that the artist would giggle at the sight. Although it would be cool to get an autograph signed backwards on my forehead so when I look in the mirror I can read it.

Paul Sivertsen

I've never really understood autographs, despite having quite a few signed items in my collection. I definitely prefer pictures, but even then, it's not the end of the world if I don't get either one. In fact, I'd rather give the artist something than receive a memento, especially since they've already given their art to me, nay to the world. I've done that several times, and though I've never known how much my gift was appreciated if at all, I do it anyway. They're free to disregard and/or throw away my gift(s) just as I'm free to disregard and/or throw away their albums, movies, etc. No obligation on either end.

I'm ashamed to say I learned my lesson about asking for too many autographs the hard way. I genuinely only wanted a few things signed for friends who couldn't be at the event with me, and the artist called me out about wanting his cut when I sell them on eBay. I was really embarrassed and suddenly realized that even though my intentions were good, the action just wasn't polite, and I ended up feeling like I'd disrespected this artist whom I still admire. Definitely put a damper on the evening. I guess somewhere between meeting and interacting normally with a stranger on the street, and realizing that stranger is a famous artist of some sort, there's room in many peoples' heads for a lapse in etiquette.

Jennie Vasquez

Paul, you weren't disrespecting the artist. You were just being kind in thinking of your friends and due to so many people hustling, I can see why an artist would be cynical and think you were doing that. I would not take it personally and it is nothing to be embarrassed about. Very kind of you to give gifts in appreciation, you are right that their art is a gift to us and to give one in return is a nice thing to do.

Anonymous

"Don't be in love with the autograph...just be in love when you hear that song." --Cat Power

Kennedy Kits

There's a somewhat disturbing Youtube video of Ted Nugent, fed up with the eBayers, demanding payment for his autographs. There's also one of Gene Simmons getting called out by a fan for his cynicism about autographs and older "fans." I guess it's hard to draw the line. If I was at all someone whose autograph was sought after, I'd probably have a "one and done" policy across the board for each fan.

Jennie Vasquez

I think that sometimes people mistaken a public figure for public property. They sometimes think they can ask for anything they want as if they own that person because they are somehow famous. I agree with the one autograph policy. I realize some people have 33 "cousins" that can't be there but one autograph is plenty. To me the joy of getting an autograph has to do more with that is your opportunity to meet someone whose work you admire and want to have a memento of meeting them. Its too awkward to ask for a piece of clothing or snip of hair so you ask for an autograph. I prefer pictures as mementos but understand the long term value of the autograph.

With that said I went to ebay and realized that Uncle Henry's autograph can sell for some good money. The article mentioned the tricks of the trade of hustling and just my luck Henry is back in California. I need to go buy a blue sharpie, the black one I have won't due, print some pictures of him, and round up some kids. Fortunately I don't have any of my own but I'll borrow the 2 cute charismatic kids from next door for the show up north. The 6 year old girl want to visit Africa so I figured she can charm Henry for a few extra autographs by asking about his travels. Then I'll drop them off and pick up the other neighbor's kid and head to San Diego. She lacks the charisma of the other 2 but cries at the drop of a bucket. One of her prolonged bouts of crying which occur all day everyday just might get me additional autographs. Then I'm no monster, I would reward each of them with plenty of candy and coloring books.