Skrillex's 'First of the Year': Why This Song Sucks
[Editor's note: Why This Song Sucks determines why particular tracks blow using science. It appears on West Coast Sound every Wednesday.]
Song: Skrillex's "First of the Year"
History: There were some remarkable musical things happening in London right around the beginning of this century and a guy from Los Angeles maybe heard some of them and then he got an interesting haircut and then he made "First of the Year" and everyone was like, "Holy fuck. This is amazing."
Atmospherics: Digital melodicism; amber pianos; ambient wind tunnel spookiness; RAHRAHRAHRAHs; VHGHHHHHHs; !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!s.
Scientific Analysis: Now, duh, "First of the Year" is cool. That seems clear. Skrillex took a bunch of things that didn't go together and stacked them on top of each other, which is a shitty methodology for making a sandwich but is apparently aces for making dubstep tracks.
Oh, FYI, combining foodstuffs remains to be the premise for my greatest scientific failure to date. I thought that since I enjoy Kool-Aid, and since I enjoy beef-flavored Ramen Noodles, beef-flavored Kool-Aid would be like if you could somehow combine receiving oral sex with regular sex. I was, as it were, mistaken.
At the Serrano household, the rule is, if the kid asks for it after we've warned him that he doesn't want it, then we give it to him. This is also referred to as the "I Bet He Won't Ask To Touch The Iron Again" rule.