Ask a Teen Raver: I'm 35, Like EDM and College Chicks. Help!

By Kerah Rose Tue., Apr. 24 2012 at 3:34 AM

Kerah Rose is a 19-year-old college student from Riverside and EDM aficionado. Ask a Teen Raver appears on Tuesdays in West Coast Sound. Send your questions to teenraver@laweekly.com.

Dear Teen Raver: Hi, as a parent of a Raver what can you tell me that will help me sleep at night? I've heard stories that are bad and good. -Raver Parent

Dear Parent: Hi there! To be honest with you, if you truly trust your kid then you shouldn't have to worry about them. You should just be worried about their surroundings. For example, drunk drivers can be around your child and something horrible might happen. Even letting your kid go out to see a movie can be dangerous. My mother and father taught me to be responsible ... and that goes for paying bills to even drinking alcohol. No, I'm not saying they taught me how to hold my liquor, I'm saying they just taught me responsibility. Maybe having a chat with your son or daughter about the rave world would help you sleep at night. Hell, maybe if you attend an event with them that can help too. (con't.)

My mom just attended Beyond Wonderland with me this year just to see what I was attending and to see basically what goes on. She had a blast and wants to go to more events. She feels more at ease now that she saw what the environment was like. Bottom line I say talk to your kid about it and see how that goes from there. I hope I helped!

Dear Teen Raver: What do you think of kids who wear their pants halfway down their asses? -PullThemUpNow

Dear Pull: I think if they want to wear their pants halfway down their asses, let them. Is there a law where you have to wear your pants right below your bellybutton? Why judge? That can be their own type of style. Kids have been wearing their pants like this for quite a while now and people are still worried about it?

Dear Teen Raver: I'm 35, but I love EDM and am super-attracted to college-aged chicks. I have awesome tattoos and crab abs, so I have no problem catching young ladies' eyes, but once we start to converse about EDM artists and the drugs we like, they start to lose interest when I tell them I like Paul Oakenfold and free-basing cocaine. Apparently, the kids of today aren't down with Oakie and free-basing. If I want to impress these girls, what artists and drugs should I start familiarizing myself with? -August December

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Dear Teen Raver;

First time reader, long time hater. First of all, I just wanted to say that you can't really call yourself a teen becausethat is generally reserved for people that haven't graduated high school. While your writing style suggests that you probably haven't actually graduated high school LOL HAHAhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (cough), your age would indicate that you have. When you're arrested for drug OD at EDC, they're not going to call you a teen in the police blotter; they're going to call you an adult. Anyway, I wanted to know what makes you qualified to speak in any intelligent way (in your case - not very intelligent - I suppose you get a pass actually) about "raves," edm, or any of that? You've only been raving for at most 2-3 years; especially since most "raves" now are 18+ and you are clearly a very young 19. Have you even been to an actual rave?

Thanks,

Hates On Noobs

DrewDiGGi

Note: August December seems like a creepy drugged-out rapist... Attn young girls: If you're at a rave & plan on getting high w-some petty semi-older dude who is continually referring to his "awesome tattoos, crab abs, & his love for listening to Paul Oakenfold while free basing cocaine" then immediately put down the straw & foiley & quickly walk away!! I also suggest dumping your drink & going to get a new one, because he has already spiked it & is planning on raping you! Don't be fooled when he starts chasing after you name dropping, "Above & Beyond, Steve Aoki, AfroJack, DatSik, David Guetta, & Dash Berlin" he doesn't actually know these artists, he just wrote into an advice column called, "ASK A TEEN RAVER" to learn names of artists that little girls like! In a last ditch effort he'll probably blurt out something like "SKRILLEX!, before announcing he has some free Pills & then bringing up smoking some "Mary Jane" (as he'll most likely call-it) but don't be fooled! He's just saying those things so he can give you date rape drugs & have you ingest them willingly & under your own free will so that he won't have to force them down your throat later on before stuffing you into the trunk of his car...

Make no mistake August September is a molester...