The Top 20 Whitest Musicians of All Time: 15-11

By LA Weekly Tue., May 22 2012 at 3:30 AM

See also:
*Top 20 Whitest Musicians of All-Time: 20-16
*Top 20 Whitest Musicians of All Time: 10-6
*Top 20 Whitest Musicians of All-Time: 5-1
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time

15. Michael McDonald
A yacht-rock refugee, McDonald took the blandest elements of his former bands Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers -- smooth jazz keys, pinched falsetto harmonies, bass lines kidnapped from disco and beaten into funkless submission -- and used them to launch an '80s blue-eyed soul career so totally devoid of actual soul it was almost genius. Has any artist ever soundtracked more happy hour hookups at Chili's, or provided more fodder for banal wedding bands? Michael, we salute you. -Andy Hermann

14. MC Paul Barman
In case the name didn't give it away, Paul Barman's sort of a cross between a Borscht Belt Richard Simmons and the guy at the front of your class waving his hand around and making the teacher go, "Anyone other than Paul?" Though he's not at all a natural fit for rap music, he's nonetheless very talented in a cheats-using-the-dictionary way: What fly honey could resist lines like "I won't use a dental dam 'cause it discourages my urges to submerge in her jizz" or "I like to suck toes / Yours secrete fructose"? He's also got a track, which is both whimsical and educational, called "Burping and Farting." -Dan Weiss

Katy Baugh

13. Moby
You could hardly get any whiter than hanging out with Moby and a bunch of club kids in platform sneakers in the early 1990s. Sure, techno was black music, created in Detroit in tandem with the "Planet Rock" breakdance revolution, but by the time it hit midtown New York it was a bro-fest fueled by the whitest drug since aspirin, ecstasy. Moby moved on the hard stuff, too: organic tea. Sure, Play sampled deep South blues. So did Led Zeppelin. -Dennis Romero

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The Top 20 Whitest Musicians of All Time

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WTF_

lame, racist, weak. have fun chewing on this pill, writer. this is my first and last visit to this blog.

NeonMosfet topcommenter

I don't always listen to Country, but when I do, I choose White Stripe. Stay thirsty my friends.

Angela Garcia @NeonMosfet

black dude

1 Like

by the exacting, scientific, veiled racist criteria set forth in the "article", Jack should not be on your list.

Matthew

Ha it looks like Jack liked your take on his songs. Have you ever heard him play Son House or Robert Johnson? De-fanged? Seriously?

Guest

Wow. That's kind of ridiculous to say about Jack Whites music since he does have a huge following. He thought so too. That quote is on the front page of his website.

Helenb

Pretty ironic your comments about Michael McDonald. Many folks who have never actually seen photos of him think he is African American based on his singing voice. You must have never heard him sing the blues. Check out his album Blue Obsession (1997). And his covers of Motown hits in two albums in 2003 and 2004. And a further album of soul songs - Soul Speak - in 2008. They are amazing. I'm not sure what songs you were referring to in your comments, but I think you may have stopped listening to his music after the 80's - you missed the best, most soulful part of his recording career. Give it another chance. I bet you will be surprised.

Guest

Where is the rest of the list?

West Coast Sound

It will be rolled out the rest of the week.

Candido Colon

Michael McDonald No Soul? That's like saying Michael Jordan couldn't play basketball.Andy go and take a listen to following McDonald tracks. I Keep Forgetting , No Love To Be Found and Lonely Teardrops. Do the following artist have soul? Chaka Khan, Ray Charles, The Winans, Toni Braxton, James Ingram, Patti Labelle and Aretha Franlkin. They all have collaborated with Michael McDonald over the years. Michael McDonald is the king of Blue Eye Soul with one of the most distinctive voice in the last 35 years.