The Top 20 Whitest Musicians of All Time: The Complete List

where the fuck is vanilla ice

Obviously Dan Weiss has the IQ of a fencepost. If he understood Pink Floyd and he listened to David Gilmour, he'd know that Gilmour's guitar work is highly influenced by blues. Any idiot (with the exception of Weiss) can hear this. Weiss perhaps you'd be better waiting tables?

This article is made from everything Frank Zappa ever said about music journalism, as well as balls-out racism. Good job, LA Weekly. Your kind of vermin is quite special.

All this article is is flamebait for the sake of page views, not to mention a miserable excuse for journalism. I hope all the commenters can agree on this. Not returning to this site again.

About Jack White: "His songs are often little more than de-fanged blues, lacking the passion and grizzled realness that makes the genre speak to so many people. -Linda Leseman"

Are you...kidding?!?  Jack White is the epitomy of southern blues and gospel in the modern music scene, strictly following raw traditional analog methods.  He models himself after his idols: Son House, Skip James, Robert Johnson, Blind Willie McTell.  His cover of Son House's "Death Letter" is a testament to his amazing blues guitar ability. "Canon" is another outstanding example.  His connection to traditional American black southern blues and slide guitar artists is stronger than almost any black pop artists on the charts today who have probably never even listened to the greats of the early 20th century.  I would be shocked if Linda Leseman has ever listened to anything the White Stripes have put out other than "Seven Nation Army" and "Fell in Love With a Girl".

This is a terrible article.  It really is.  If you try and take it seriously, it really doesn't have to be an issue of race.  The criteria of relating to early American black artists is legitimate, but unfortunately it seems the authors have decided to use this idea as a way to poke fun at being white.  A waste of an idea with potential, I'd say.

Where's wezzer at on this list?

i guess the article is rather racist but being white is not so bad.  I consider Pink Floyd to be one of the most influential bands ever. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oah2HU6xf9w

This is so racist. What if this were about how quintessentially black some hip hop artist are and the unflattering qualities that make them so undisputedly "black."

So we celebrate Blackness like it's something cool and awesome but we define "whiteness" as bland and boring? Really now. What's happened in society that white folks will actually label themselves like mashed potatoes and think its funny? Because its so not true - I mean the writer couldn't even come up with good examples - most of these bands actually ROCK. Pink Floyd, bland like mashed potatoes? Really? This isn't just a little dumb it is one racially offensive article.

WOW the writer of this article is one of the MOST CONFUSED people I have ever encountered in regards to race. Most of these bands arent even remotely "bland like mashed potatoes". This shit is str8 up offensive. What a d*ck.

I agree that this is every bit as racist as the "blackest" musicians would be.  Also, being white is not a detriment to a musician.  That is just stupid.  Hey, Living Colour were a black metal/rock band, but they could PLAY.  Cut the stupid crap.

Do a countdown of top 20 blackest musicians of all time... no? why not?

Oh because its racist? Then WTF is this then?

I would have to disagree with the assessment of Pink Floyd to a huge degree.  They're too diverse of a band, created too many never before used effects, and also had David Gilmour-whom is a ripping blues player.  That summation is accurate for about 3% (+/- 3%) of their music.  Obviously they're white.  Are they whitest?  That's just a stupid, stupid way of looking at things.  I know this is a joke, but it's not a funny joke.  When you make a generalization it needs to have some truth at the core and you're way off.  It's like making fun of Nickelback for playing only ballads.  There are other reasons to make fun of them that more people will identify with.  Way off the mark with these cleverless (<-neologism) generalizations.

Keep drinking the haterade, LA Weakly

oh this racism is killing me inside

There's a good point about Floyd being more of a folk band than blues, but Rick Wright, their keyboardist and pianist, was really into jazz, and it really comes out in their music--he came up with some pretty jazzy chord progressions on Dark Side. Also on Dark Side they had some pretty soulful back-up singers (not just Clare Torry). Finally, Gilmour was really into blues and has even played with B.B. King. "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" is almost gospel music. I just can't see them as that white, even if they were some pretty pasty guys.

Nice overdoing an overdone trope. Worth it, though, for the dethroning of Clapton.

"Whitest Musicians"?  How idiotic, lol.

lol its hilarious white people are so mad at a non insult. it must be so hard.

The main problem with this article is its inconsistency--probably the product of its multiple authors.  Some bands are included in in a self deprecating and friendly fashion (Belle and Sebastian and Wilco come to mind) while other talented acts (Pink Floyd) are attacked with laughable venom , and yet other legitimately bad acts are thrown up as easy targets (Kenny G).   The only avenue worth the ink devoted to it here is the Wilco/Belle and Sebastian approach--and  it was more than beat into the ground with two entries.   

no ween?????

weird, i always thought rock and everything that came after (i.e. everyone on this list) essentially sprung out of jazz and blues and soul. how musically oblivious of me!

Coltrane played soprano sax. I defy anyone to call his My Favorite Things fake sax.

You fogot Rush, Coldplay, Dave Matthews, Taylor Swift, Yanni, Bowling for Soup, Jethro Tull, Adam Lambert, Hank Williams Jr., and Black Eyed Peas

White and proud. 'Nuff said. Don't like it? Too damn bad. 

Do you guys *try* to be idiots or do really think this way?

Wow Linda, you are pretty hateful aren't you.  Anything to get folks to read your column I guess. You should try some relaxation techniques or something.

I guess some twat with big stupid glasses doesn't like Pink Floyd, AND got a job writing for a rag..Way to go, Twat!

the person that wrote this article is an idiot! plain white and simple. dumb shit!

Did a 17 y.o. write this? ?I'm sure they didn't realize what a racist schmuck they were exposing themselves as.  But they do now ! !

Let's do a list of blackest artists, with "blackest" of course, implying criminality, a lack of personal responsibility and low intelligence. What's wrong? Don't blacks have a sense of humor?

being enraged by a blog list= white people problems

Clapton guided generations of white-bread hippie rockers into real blues like a gateway drug. Without him, the careers of Buddy Guy & Robert Cray might well be non-existent. So, I think he gets an honorary exemption from this list.

Seriously, I've gotten used to these types of snarky, irrelevent, clueless, hipster, douchebag, 'all time' lists, but this one is particularly idiotic. Setting aside the whole using 'white' as a pejorative term deal, the list is thoroughly wrong-headed. First off, Michael McDonald is one of the most beloved artists amongst BLACK musicians... he's a hugely influential figure in R&B, and secondly listing artists like Clapton, Floyd and REM is mere button pushing to get this type of reaction amongst your readers. It's shoddy. It's really just a shoddy, irrelevent piece. I am however enjoying reading the comments section.

Whoever wrote this has no idea what they are talking about

Full disclosure:  I *love* seeing white people fly into a rage whenever someone uses the word "white" as a pejorative.  The more priveleged they are and the less inclined they are to question their lifelong assumptions, the more they flip out.  It's hilarious.

Whitest pass times:

1. Expressing disdain for the "whitest" artists.

WHERE'S BECK???????

This article will never be an insult to Caucasian/White people. White people: pat yourselves on the back -- no matter how many articles like this are written, White people will always be considered the holy high pinnacle of the human race. When White people are considered "boring" or "vanilla" it simply means they are neutral or "the norm". To be considered "the norm" is actually a subtle way of considering White people as THE shining example of what it means to be the perfect human being. So, White People, pat yourselves on the back for existing as the "the norm". You know, as if you had a CHOICE in your existence as the superior beings that you already know that you are. Racism, this article simply is not. (Sorry for double-post.)

This article will never be an insult to Caucasian/White people. White people: pat yourselves on the back -- no matter how many articles like this are written, White people will always be considered the holy high pinnacle of the human race. When White people are considered "boring" or "vanilla" it simply means they are neutral or "the norm". To be considered "the norm" is actually a subtle way of considering White people as THE shining example of what it means to be the perfect human being. So, White People, pat yourselves on the back for existing as the "the norm". You know, as if you had a CHOICE in your existence as the superior beings that you already know that you are. Racism, this article simply is not.