Here Are the Best Parts of R. Kelly's New Book Soulacoaster

Whether you believe he's the world's greatest living music artist or a twisted sexual deviant who eluded justice, there's much to be gleaned about R. Kelly in his new autobiography Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me. In the thick (377 pages!) tome, Kelly is incredibly candid about his tumultuous childhood, as well as the various titillating highs and depressing lows of his career.

But you're probably wondering: Does he shed any light on how he thought to compare a woman to a jeep, or his dick to a remote control? We pored over Soulacoaster to examine the key moments in Kelly's life, and mined the most interesting nuggets. We've also provided some of his videos as a soundtrack to your reading.

"I Believe I Can Fly"

As a youngster R. Kelly felt paralyzed with fear when around skyscrapers. He felt they were going to fall on him. One day he decided he'd had enough, and confronted his fear head on. He challenged the Sears Tower to a fight.

"Sears Tower, I dare you to fall on me. I dare you to scare me anymore. You ain't nothing but steel and concrete. You might be a symbol of this city, but one day I'm gonna be a symbol. I'm gonna stand for Chicago; one day I'm gonna stand as tall as you."

"Real Talk"

R. Kelly is a self-proclaimed, unashamed, unabashed mama's boy. The man in his mother Joann's life -- and the closest thing Kelly had to a father figure -- was named Lucious. Joann and Lucious loved one another deeply, but when they drank, things could go from good to terrible in an instant. They fought often. And sometimes the fights became physical.

She ran back into the house. When she came out again, she was holding a heavy glass mug. "Put a hand on me and I'll fuck you up," she threatened. "Who you gonna fuck up, bitch?" Lucious taunted before grabbing and twisting her arm. With her free arm, Joann Kelly whacked Lucious across the head. The mug split open and cut his forehead, blood gushing out everywhere. Lucious staggered, fell, passed out unconscious. My mother ran to him, screaming for me to call 911. A neighbor called the police. By the time the cops arrived, Lucious had come to. "What happened?" they asked. Lucious hesitated. I was shaking 'cause I thought they'd take my mother to jail. Lucious looked at the cops and said, "I drank a few too many and fell down the stairs."