Why I'll Never Go To Burning Man

ExplorationD

https://www.facebook.com/IHateBurningMan

HairKup9

But you can't really know what Burning Man is about until you experience it. I know that's redundant, but this is going to be my fifth year at BM, and it took me a good two or three years to finally understand the sheer significance of the festival.

I do have to say that I appreciate your argument that "Nobody believes you have to experience something to dislike it," and I get it. We live in a culture in which pretty much everything is the same: you can expect a concert to be a concert, a meal to be a meal, a job to be a job. It's all essentially under the same umbrella, and you can make roughly accurate presuppositions about your level of interest in them.

I have to tell you, though, that Burning Man is different. You come away with a certain understanding that is going to be hard to communicate to your friends & family when you return. People who haven't been to BM are understandably skeptical and closed-hearted; most of our culture offers very few experiences that are even in the same category. Burning Man exists in its own category. The good news is, you don't choose Burning Man--it chooses you. The festival has a way of drawing in those who are ready for it...

alyx

*2 Cents* Don't yuck my yum. Sounds like he's got a bit of complex, and I'm glad an individual like so won't ever go. He seems like he isn't very pragmatic to see that yes, 20 years later Burning Man has evolved into something VERY different, and I could care less, it's original purpose is a middle-class fly trap. I want a week of "embarrassing" debauchery. I'm not searching for enlightenment, I'm following my heathen-like tendencies. So I'll go to my Raves, I'll go to my Ke$ha Concerts, we'll dance on ecstasy for days, love my life and enjoy the moment, the people, the music, the lights, the sensory experience. 7 days later watch a pyrotechnic man...pack up, leave and get back to my regularly scheduled program of helping mankind, and being a positive about life...oh wait, that still includes electro concerts, moderate amount of recreational activities and loving on the folks around me. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

spiritofdemosthenes

are you one of those people who sits at home and thinks everything is lame, and then rants about it online? you should get out more.

Haterade

Wow. Way to write a pejorative article on your facile interpretations on a place you've never been to. Talking shit about a subculture of which you have no apparent understanding only construes you as a judgemental prick. Burning man is a melting pot of influences, new age stuff being only a part of it. And the decommodification part isn't some hippy bullshit, it has to do with keeping the playa as pristine as possible. And that's to please many relevant forces influencing the event, like the state of Nevada. Whatever though, you're a direct candidate for what burners don't want to deal with, so please follow your heart and never come. Maybe Sturgis is more you're thing.

hun73r

Burning man isn't a style of music like ICP or Rihanna. You don't hear it one time and decide it's not for you. But in your case, let's make an exception. Definitely tell everyone that Burning Man = the 70s and they are too grown ass old to enjoy it now. Please, tell everyone. I'm serious.

dfh21775

Just attended my first burning man after coming up the same assumptions and avoiding it "on purpose" for years; but always was inclined to say I couldnt judge or critique something you know little or nothing about. There is a reason for this rule... it's called blatant ignorance. Might as well write another follow up article on some country you never been to based upon what you saw on TV and what your friends think. Btw, how much do they pay at LA Weekly? I'm in IT but looking for some easy part time work.

dancasual

I'm from Portland, too, and totally agree with most of this. Excellent article.

bettyblack

har har.

Dumbass

when your head is so far up your ass, does it taste as shitty as it sounds? i don't need to personally have my head up your ass to know you suck.

Haterlover

You should at least go so that you'll write funnier satire about it. Basically this piece comes down to "lol hippies" and an excuse for whatshisname below to rage on about "feminazis."

Extabesco

1 Like

No, you really do have to go to something before you claim to hate it. Otherwise you just hate the sound of it. Being snide about something proactively and then writing about it in a self-consciously breezy manner isn't being wise or cool, it's just being another hack with a deadline. I did like the idea of you setting yourself on fire though.

clandest

@Extabesco again with the suggestion of violence for daring to say anything against their cult. and a cult it is.

Extabesco

@clandest The suggestion of violence was the author's when he wrote "If I ever have to hear a story about how amazing a fire twirler was, I might actually light myself on fire." I assumed he was joking. I know I was. Frankly@clandest , you might want unclench a little bit. You could look up the word "cult" while you're doing it.

Duke

@Extabesco Ha! Well, I did want to address each of your points, of which were many. You're nice to put up with my tendency towards ranting. Though I wouldn't say "cooler or wiser" since it's not a contest, but as far as apples go, I'm a honey crisp fan!

genederble

@Extabesco @Duke YOU GOT TORCHED DUKE YOU PUKE.....SUck it

Extabesco

1 Like

@Duke You Sir/Madam, are a wo/man after my own heart: someone who answers with five hundred words when only fifty would do. (I mean that sincerely and approvingly.) In short, I hear you. I'm not drawn to the Burning Man Festival either although many of my friends love it and the ones who do are very diverse. However, I took your comment to heart and did some researching and I say with humility that Burning Man now is quite different to the Burning Man that I said no to a decade ago. I believe that the author of the blog post said as much as well and so for assaulting that, I stand apologetic and chagrined. On their website Burning Man declares quite plainly that it is "not merely another festival," and having read the "Ten Principles" and the notion that we are dealing with something that they hope is considered "year-round," I think that taxonomies and categorical distinctions be damned, we are, as you suggest, dealing with an ideology and, therefore, an "apples to apples" comparison. (Gala to Pink Lady? Hmmmm...) "Really not for me this horror in the desert," is certainly allowable. and I will be more cautious about my dogmatic empiricism in the future. Thank you for taking me by the snarky hand and pointing me in a direction that was enlightening. (You really are cooler and wiser than me certainly.) Yours, Extabesco (who is the one being the "little bitch" this time around, alas, not for the first time, although I will endeavor to make it the last.)

Duke

2 Like

@Extabesco While taxonomy is the science of establishing a system for classification, I was citing examples regarding behaviors, belief systems & social attitudes. Of course no one is going to tell anyone how much they enjoyed being murdered… because they are dead, silly! But let's not neglect to acknowledge that there are people who do commit rapes & murders. And some of them might even tell you how much they enjoyed it & how they look forward to doing it again because it gratifies them. I'm unaware of knowing anyone, personally, who would say such things, but I "dislike" that there are, nonetheless. If you wish to stick to something more experiential & value-neutral, the topic of oral sex suffices as well as any. I might enjoy [receiving] it less with one partner than I do with another because of differences in levels of technical skill. A partner could have exceptional technique & I still might not enjoy it because I'm not attracted to the person or perhaps there is no chemistry or spark. So, just because I say I enjoy a certain thing, does not mean that there aren't circumstances under which I would rather not. Though I've never experienced it, first-hand, I'm confident that I would most definitely NOT like a blow job from my brother, regardless of how exceptional his skills may be. It is true that Scientology, Mormonism & the Tea Party center around their own central ideology, as does Burning Man. (Google: "burning man ten principles") In regards to Scientology & the Mormon church, they do have spaces that are open to the public at large. That is to say: these places are easily accessible & you are welcome to come have a look around, without having to make any spiritual commitment to the faith or finical commitment to the coffers. (though those Scientologists can be really aggressive with their recruitment tactics. They really, REALLY want you to take that personality test.) However, with Burning Man, such is not quite the case. One is not able to just "drop-in" & check it out on a whim. It takes place only once a year. It's in a remote location & the price of admission is somewhat substantial -- $300… plus the cost of adequate provisions & supplies… plus the gas to get there. For many this would be too much to invest on a whim. And, like you said, "no one just drives to Burning Man, accidentally." But there are other events throughout the year that cater to the burner community. There is often a cover & at times you're charged extra for wearing street clothes. Nevertheless, the de facto point-of-access to the culture is through the people. In this regard, one can access the culture without ever attending the big event, itself. And after having spent a great deal of time at dozens of very burner-centric get-togethers, I can say this: Burning Man IS more than "just" a festival. To many it is this whole "lifestyle," a word of which I am not fond & rarely use in a flattering tone. It has its own dress-code, nomenclature, etc. It's a total "scene." It's not just something they "go to," like Boneroo or Coachella. (When you tell a Coachella fan you've never been & have no interest in going, they don't get defensive about it because it doesn't hurt their feelings.) Most of the Burners I have known have a great deal of their identity invested in it. It's central to how they view themselves & relate to the world around them. This could explain, from what I've seen, why burners tend to be extremely xenophobic. Whenever I've expressed even the slightest disinterest or indifference to their lifestyle pow-wow, they have uniformly resorted to the "you just don't understand" explanation... such encounters bear eerie similarities to discussions with fundamentalist Christians & Scientologists about the reasoning behind their beliefs. (EXAMPLE: "You say that because you haven't let God into your heart." [Team Jesus] "You're being a victim." [Team Hubbard]) It's as though any opinion contrary to their own can't occupy equal space or value in the conversation, which is not only juvenile, but condescending as well as pretentious. And "sort-of" contradicts all that tall talk about "encouraging radical self-expression." Though I do not consider myself a part of the culture, I've had ample contact with it from multiple points spanning a few cities & over a number of years. I know people who were at the very first burn. I know people who have been going every year for over 15 years. I've shared living space with a few of them. I know people who work for the event. I've attended other events associated with the festival. I'm well-aware of its history. I've heard the stories at least 5 times. I've read the literature. Though I've never been [to the event], I'm quite capable of grasping why some people find it so compelling from my exposure to the culture. It is by these same encounters & experiences [with the culture] that I am adequately informed to determine to what level I am compelled by it, which happens to be very little. Or think of it this way… hula-hooping, utili-kilts, dub-step, public nudity, fake-fur, drugs, drum circles, fire dancing, polyamory, pseudo-spirituality, top-hats, trance music, large crowds, art of questionable merit, techno, art cars, body paint, fairy wings, drum & bass, doing shots out of flavored condoms, women in their mid-30's who have been taking stripper-pole classes, cut-rate circus performers, street clowns… if I've already encountered each of these things on their own & decided that they weren't to my liking, then I'm not going to feel any different about them as a massive all-you-can-eat buffet of things I already know that don't interest me. In short -- if you don't like the ingredients, you're not going to like the soup. As for liking how the Vatican looks around Christmas: one needn't compromise their ethics to appreciate architecture & spectacle. I can dislike someone & still like the house in which they live.

Extabesco

@Duke I don't think you should feel cooler, nor wiser, but you do have a gift for hyperbole, if that helps. Look, the examples you provided demonstrate problems with taxonomies, or, more colloquially, you are comparing "apples to oranges." Rape and murder are by definition negative acts. "Burning Man" is not, essentially, anything but a festival. (How many people do you know that have been raped and/or murdered and afterwards tell you they can't wait for it to happen again? Well there's a reason for that baked into their definitions.) If you want to use an example involving the body, try something value-neutral like oral sex. If you haven't tried it, it may not sound appealing, but you can't authentically say you hate it without trying it, can you? Now you also throw out Scientology and Mormonism as well as the Tea Party for good measure. But all of those things are ideologies. True, there are spaces that are also associated with them, there are Mormon Temples and the Church of Scientology has a Celebrity Centre--I went there for an art show, it's made of marble--but you can visit the spaces without being a member of the religion. Mormonism and Scientology are belief systems, so of course you don't have to become a member of one of them to say that you "hate what they believe." (I suggest finding ways to actually access what they believe before you make that claim, however.) This happens all the time. Lot's of people hate Roman Catholicism and think that being at the Vatican is beautiful at Christmas. See the difference? So, If you want to make an inference by comparison, pick something that is comparable to "Burning Man," a type of experience that occurs at a certain time and a certain place with a certain group of participants. Take, say, New Year's Eve in Beijing. You might not be interested in going to a New Year's Eve celebration in Beijing after the report of friends--I said myself that the author had every right to say that he hated "the sound" of Burning Man, by which I mean the report of something--but if you said you hated or even disliked New Year's Eve in Beijing without every gone there, you'd just be a little bitch. Everyone uses testimony to excite interest or to diminish it--no one just drives to "Burning Man" accidentally--and everyone can make a determination on whether something sounds appealing through word of mouth. I have never gone to Burning Man and I don't watch Meg Ryan movies for the same reason: they don't sound appealing to me. But if I said I "disliked" them, I'd be lying or...just writing on deadline and otherwise devoid of ideas.

Duke

1 Like

@Extabesco So, I really have to experience something before I can claim my distaste for that given thing with any validity? Okie doke. So... if I've never been the deliverer or the recipient of a rape, I don't actually hate it? I just hate the "sound" of it? It's not enough that my opinion on Scientology & Mormonism is based on the Scientologists & Mormons I've met & the literature they are always foisting on me? I need to actually become one of them to know with genuine legitimacy why it's just not for me? Does this mean I should join the Tea Party & really "experience" what it's like to have such political & social attitudes before I take issue with them? Do I need to share needles with other users to properly comprehend the risks I'm taking? I already feel wiser & cooler...

iunyper

Dear Nicholas Pell,

I want to love you all night long. Please don't move back to Portland.

Anon

1 Like

You have no frame of reference. It sounds like your judgment of the event is based on the opinions of your friends or colleagues and your opinions of them. I think this article shows a lot about how you feel about the people you know who go to burning man, and absolutely nothing about the event itself.

Is this actually an article? I found myself here somehow through facebook.... Is this journalism in today's society? Seriously?

This article actually kind of encapsulates the sentiments of our generation. We're quick to judge things that are different. This event is comprised of SO MANY people, how can you possibly lump them all into one category? And what is with the whole thing where whatever is now cool is, like, totally uncool now and it's Cool to think the Cool thing is UnCool. Doesn't that sound completely idiotic? Seriously.

Burning Man is about having fun and self-expression. You can get your head wrapped up around the politics or feeling cool or whatever, but at the end of the day you create your own experience. At burning man, at work, at home, or wherever... your experience is up to you.

iclimbtrees

1 Like

@Anon This is a blog... and you're comparing your opinion to his, not facts against facts. You can't bash him for not being "journalistic" when he was just writing about his personal opinion...especially not by countering with your own opinion and implying that it's 'right.'

gagedahousecat

1 Like

@AnonIf the journalist wants to experience 'faux bohemian' lifestyle, he/she need not move to Portland, just hang out in Silverlake.

Burning Man is not 'faux bohemian', and I agree with the above comment that one cannot 'lump' individuals into a particular catagory without firsthand experiencing Burning Man. Your experience is truly up to you and you do create your own experience...very well put and accurate.

commander1958

1 Like

@Anon Fear on fear on fear on fear on fear on fear. What does love feel like to you, sir?

sacredgrounds

I love Burning Man. I love people going to Burning Man. I love RADICAL inclusion. I love people who hate on Burning Man and then wonder why they are not being radically included. Do you want to be radically included? That might be able to be arranged. Just as soon as the hype dies down and they stop writing opinion articles on it on LA Weekly, the tickets don't sell out, and everyone lets it have a chance before making a decision. Not gonna happen. Times are changing folks. Get over it. )'(PS I love the Do Lab and LIB too. Let's get that trash taken care of and we got ourselves a mini-burn in Irvine :)

john.steel77

Brilliant writing! If Hunter Thompson were still alive he would dump napalm on the current generation of burners. Nothing is cool after it is.

wtfschaef

Good thing your thoughts are posted here on this website, that way people can know that you have an opinion, and then still just not give a damn

hassinator_69

@zoelazarus #boringman

rogerhdavisjr

It doesn't get any lamer than this article. Who is this guy? Somebody tie him up, gag him, blind fold him, and drop him via helicopter into the middle of the Playa during BM. I had a similar attitude about BM for years, and then I went. It blew my mind. You can't imagine what it's like, and to convince yourself that you won't like it is just plain dumb. Buddy, go experience something -- anything new -- and then write about it. Please don't bother us with your imaginings of what you think it would be like. You must be hard up for topics to write about. Really lame!

misterhand9000

3 Like

@rogerhdavisjr lol - check out the suggestion of violence for criticizing the event. still think this thing isn't a cult?

chrissowick

1 Like

This article reads like a review of Coachella by a deaf person. Burning Man is largely about the music, and he barely even mentions the existence of it. Dust storms and bad food and uncleanliness are not the attractions, they are things people put up with to hear sets by the world's best DJs in an environment very different from the boring old dance clubs we see them in the rest of the year.

gagedahousecat

1 Like

@chrissowick

You have to be DEAF to enjoy Coachella anyhow...so the jig is up, son.

parnell2

@chrissowick Sorry. Burning Man is *not* about the Music. BMORG doesn't even provide grants to sound camps or musicians; Burning Man is actually about the art and the community - because it *is* a community built city people can (for the most part) do what they want and that often includes music.

I'm one of those burners that actually prefers day-time, hanging out at center camp and playing hide n' seek with people or going to deep playa to find cool art installations.

Also, all the grungy aspects are precisely what bring me to Burning Man (including the art and community of course); I would be very sad the day BM ends up anywhere but on playa.

katiejayneearl

2 Like

i'm fine with BM. Don't go. Don't care. What annoys me is all of the "decompression" talk that accompanies the return of burners and lasts for 6 months. As soon as it ends, "PreCompression" events begin! If you can't "Handle the real world" after the burn.... don't go to the burn. The real world is forever.

really though, who cares? I don't. Hope everyone has fun and stays safe at the burn! It's my favorite week in LA!

And as for this writer shitting on the burn.... you really shouldn't be getting as offended as some of you are. He's shitting on a festival you paid $400+ to get into... not your mom's life choices or something. It'll be okay. BM is not your identity so you really shouldn't care. .....or is it?

dannyclarke11

1 Like

I definitely think people can find themselves there with or without drugs. With drugs is harder cuz it's 100+ degrees. I have had amazing moments there. I wouldn't downplay them at all.

dannyclarke11

This happens to anything that becomes inclusive. It's now the overground and we have to find what we like in it.

dcr535

You're right Nicholas, it sounds absolutely absurd! You should stay at home and watch your TV. To every one who's going, see you on the playa!

joycea

1 Like

From someone who attended those first six years both at Barker Beach and Black Rock...excellent, pretty much spot on summary. Although I still embrace the core "hippie crap" (as you put it), I'll choose to do it in a less structured, non-judgmental environment which is not confined by a handbook of rules and governed by an iron fist where its participants are chosen by a lottery system.

JCA2

Going this year with a group of 25 or so people- we've all been working to prepare for the Burn- creating art, planning our camp, and getting ready to face the weather. Of course- plenty of partying to be had as well. For me, the Burn is an exercise in community. A very worthwhile concept to revisit.

LifelongBurner

Gosh. I am just SO happy and grateful that you and all the other haters are staying home. Don't like it? Don't go. And convince all your other conventional friends to do the same.

misterhand9000

1 Like

@LifelongBurner

" convince all your other conventional friends to do the same. "

LOL - you're SOOOO radical, so edgy and counter cultural.

godot

@misterhand9000 @LifelongBurner "I wanna be different; just like everyone else"

spiritofdemosthenes

@godot @misterhand9000 @LifelongBurner we are all individuals! We are all different!

Im not!

Shh!

misterhand9000

5 Like

Burning Man has basically raped the creative spirit of the Bay Area and beyond for the purpose of its own 'going concern'. It promises acceptance in return for participation (free labor) in building the city into a greater and greater spectacle (its primary marketing concept). That acceptance is a drug and they feed it to you in loads because they know the strong of influence of the threat of losing it will have over you.

Burning Man chews up would-be counter-culturalists and spits them out after consuming their time and resources. Once you start asking, 'What does my participation mean?', or once you starts making suggestions for improvement - you are shown the door and kicked through it. If you object, they slander you saying thinks like, 'He's difficult to work with', or 'He does a lot of drugs'. You will quickly find out who your real friends are after this, because almost all of them will choose Burning Man over you.

A more passive way of excluding you once you start asking questions is the shaming language, 'You're just bitter and/or burnt out', as if being abused by the system is your fault because you were unwilling to be abused.

Further, the climate at Burning Man is anti-male, or specifically - anti-masculinity. It's run by an oppressive matriarchy of feminazis (no, Larry doesn't run things). If you enjoy being dominated by man-hating angry dykes, then work for the organization, gents. Hand over your balls to the shift-lead (who is always a woman).

Men are expected to do all the heavy and dirty labor. In the rare case that one of these 'ladies' actually picks up a hammer, there's someone there to take her picture, and she usually puts it down after the photo shoot.

inb4: misogynist

The free labor supplied by the volunteer army is an exploitation of the goodwill sentiment related to art and spirituality. The harder you work for free, the closer you are to the inner circle, the Holy of Holies: Enlightenment, meaning you are better than everyone else who doesn't work as hard; Closer to God. A true Burner and a real artist (now go climb that dangerous art installation without a safety harness, RIGHT NOW!).

spiritofdemosthenes

@misterhand9000 you sir, are a smart man. check out the jaded review

erikdenning

@misterhand9000

I've gone a bunch of times and it's very special to me. It's a place of very positive energy, enthusiasm, encouragement, creativity, inclusion, and participation. You can roll your eyes at something like a gift economy, but it's very different to experience it. Genuine community and ritual is hard to come by and Burning Man fills those needs. The price (literally) of growing is having to deal with things like BLM fees, porta-potties, REQUIRED law enforcment, etc. A lot of commenters here act like Burning Man is the band that was cool when they were small, but suck now that they have a lot of fans. As others said, it's what YOU make of it. The blank canvas awaits you. Nowhere on the ticket does it say everything is guaranteed to be a perfect, beautiful experience. And yes, costumes, drugs, fucking, warm, friendly people, and good music, add to the fun. There are worse ways to spend your time and money.