The 20 Worst Hipster Bands: The Complete List


GrizzlyBear.jpeg
Grizzly Bear
5. Grizzly Bear
These altar boys embody everything bad about the clean-scrubbed end of the hipster spectrum. They spend more time on expensive and fastidious arrangements than choruses, which they sound annoyed to have to throw in occasionally. Their lyrics evoke nothing you can see with your eyes, as if they assume the "beauty" of their tentative melodies will fill in the blanks. Many bands have made vaguer, more directionless music but none of those ever had the chutzpah to crack Billboard's top ten. At least with say, Godsmack, you can tell why they're depressed. -Dan Weiss

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1926 comments
catsandbrian
catsandbrian

let's be more positive, people - read backwards, it's a list of the 20 best hipster bands

quaqua
quaqua

The Complete list and the Black Eye Peas are not on it?  Is there a worst band more full of posers that these douchebags?

mdangerlippman
mdangerlippman

Most of these bands aren't even "hipster" - many have gotten Grammys and platinum albums. Also, the writing style is so nauseatingly masturbatory that you almost make me want to defend shit like Beirut. THAT is an accomplishment.


However, you're definitely right to have Bon Iver as #1, and the reasons included were fantastic.

FBI_Surveillance_Van
FBI_Surveillance_Van

This article is hilarious.  The Best Buy zombies defending some of these bands is even more hilarious.

FBI_Surveillance_Van
FBI_Surveillance_Van

This article is hilarious.  The Best Buy zombies defending some of these bands is even more hilarious.

MaxB
MaxB

But you know what the ultimate hipster act is?

Shitting on critically acclaimed bands other people enjoy.

punkster90
punkster90

This is a joke. Doesn't anyone get that?

carrington911
carrington911

Fuck this article for the most part. Who are these so called aficionados of indie music that think they deserve to bash good, talented bands for their own personal music loving, pretentious, self sucking pride? This article, for the most part, is dumb for not including acts like Passion Pit, Two Door Cinema Club, the XX, Vampire Weekend. How can they make a "worst hipster band" list that claims that their music taste is better and not be aware that they make their damn selves seem "hipster" as fuck. Also, I hate the word "hipster". It's insulting that they included Death Cab and Arcade Fire and others. Those bands paved the way for a lot of what's happening now. I'm still shocked that these writers didn't crack at Passion Pit and (oh shit!!!!) Mumford and Sons! What is this??

Boneze
Boneze

One or two Arcade Fire ( I didn't realize Napoleon Dynamite was in that band!) songs and an Ariel Pink cover aside, pretty much all these acts suck. Nice to see them called out.

bobbyflowers777
bobbyflowers777

I can only liken it to watching a Woody Allen movie!!! Rather have GLASS SHARDS shoved under my fingernails!!! And what the heck was Whole about hole???

bobbyflowers777
bobbyflowers777

Bruce springsteen and his off key crap is comparable to Bob Dylan~~good writers bad singers that sound like they are constipated

rmitchell851
rmitchell851

bands like these are why i stopped voting in the VV P&J poll after 30 years. there is something to be said for musicians who can really play. but i don't really think black keys belong on this list... check out the new bombino album he produced... not hipster, just very hip. 

keeatzz
keeatzz like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

The authors of this article are the real hipsters. 

chovyle412
chovyle412

I;m surprised that Beck and Cake didn't make it on this list. Judging by the writer's taste, they'd at least make the top 13 mark.

himartinson
himartinson like.author.displayName 1 Like

You know what? It's okay. This list goes to show that there are two kinds of people in this world: people who have ears and decent in music and deserve respect, and LA Weekly. There's room for both. :)

greenonions1989
greenonions1989

White Stripes also suck. Jack White can't play or sing live

sarcasticmann
sarcasticmann

A list of anything dubbed "Worst Hipster Bands" that doesn't include the Strokes is just plain stupid! 

Furthermore, I don't think any "group" with only 2 members should ever be allowed to sign a record contract unless they are just doing acoustic music and the definitely shouldn't be called a "Band"!

SIrAcid
SIrAcid like.author.displayName 1 Like

Pathetic linkbait listicle. Nice try, asshats, but I'm not sharing.

Geoffthebunchie
Geoffthebunchie like.author.displayName 1 Like

This article is terrible. Death Cab, Beach House, Bon Iver?! Does the writer listen to Volbeat or something?

cauchosalcor
cauchosalcor

omg sleight bells and black keys on this list?? pfffffff


reftk2
reftk2 like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Here's a good way to spend some energy you idiot, stop thinking so hard about how this "movement" is so exhausting. Get over it, move the fuck on. Think long and hard about all the dumbass shit you do.

I agree that some of the bands here are maybe not all they're cut out to be, but some of these musicians are classically or jazz trained musicians, who know the rules and thus have the ability to break them. They have an understanding of music that greatly exceeds your knowledge of...probably anything.

go write a real article, you non-talented ass clown.

And all you people who think this is hilarious, go listen to your scratched up nickleback cd and shut the fuck up.

OH WAIT. you probably don't even buy cd's...right, supporting an artist is TOTALLY hipster!

This comment has been deleted

rebel_leather
rebel_leather like.author.displayName 1 Like

baaahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah this list was spot on.

Although, it's not really fair since there are no good hipster bands. I guess its just gathering the worst of the worst. 


I love that all the pretentious hipsters commenting on here are so butthurt because you pointed out how fake and laaaaaammeee their stupid movement is. Take off your non prescription hipster glasses, stupid tuques (especially in summer???) and shave your beards. Fucking fake faggots pretending to be an introspective 60's or 70's rock band. Stop ruining and conceptualizing the style of genuine genres from the past. It's pathetic and shows this generation has no integrity or originality. Can't wait for this fake fad to dissappear. What is even more sad is that hipsters believe that they have refined and indie taste in music. They actually believe that they are the antithesis to modern pop. hahahahha how sad...

 http://leatherrebelblog.com/who-killed-rock-and-roll.html

 

nnipperus
nnipperus

Now, I'm sure you're retarded...  (Or just trying to troll...)  Beach House is consistently amazing...  Fuck off either way...  You're exhausting... 

nnipperus
nnipperus

Arcade Fire does suck...  This article is retarded...

vitohasastrat
vitohasastrat

The saddest excuse for an article. This man has a stick in his arse and sand in his pussy. I'm certain they just thought up "Hey lets make a 20 worst hipster bands article that'll give us ad revenue!" So they conjugated up a big list of "hipster bands" (half of these aren't even hipster) they found on a Google search. The problem was they were LOOKING shit, trying to listen to music and see what critical mess of shit they can spew about it. Most of these bands are fucking incredible.

daniellecannuli
daniellecannuli

uh your quote for the black keys was complete and utter bullshit. also white stripes fucking rock. do you even have a music taste? and if you did you would know that jack white it anti "HIPSTER". 

correaeddie23
correaeddie23

So your argument for putting Arcade Fire on this list is "It sounds like good music, but its not". In regards to whiny fucking hipsters, "Pot meet Kettle".

correaeddie23
correaeddie23 like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

So your argument for putting Arcade Fire on this list is "it sounds like good music, but its not." You sir, EPITOMIZE a whiny fucking hipster. Worse, you're the hipster who hates hipsters. You should be fired.

victor_franko
victor_franko

Nice writeup. This was my second time seeing SHM. Most of their music is banal and aimed at the lowest common denominator, and don't get me started on how much I miss the days before 'press play' DJs, but SHM's lightshow is pretty spectacular, the positive energy in the crowd is always contagious, and you can count on getting a handful of filthy drops that push the crowd energy over the top (the crowd went especially nuts during "Antidote" last night). Lots of fun.

brad77677
brad77677

Man, fuck this asshole. He probably made this to get attention seeing as how he's such an awful writer and has demonstrated to us all that he knows almost nothing about any of these bands and their style of music.

Crapmandoodoo
Crapmandoodoo like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

Bottom line..... White people are fucking lame.

ANALBUMCOVER
ANALBUMCOVER like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

You Can Play These Songs With Chords was released on cassete because it was 1995 and Ben Gibbard was poor. This reviewer knows nothing about music.

arrexisbrown
arrexisbrown like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

@ANALBUMCOVER Good to know. 

Side note: it took me a moment to realize your name was not Anal Bum Cover, but An Album Cover.

diydanna
diydanna like.author.displayName 1 Like

As an active listener and music reviewer, I have to disagree with the assessment of band #2 on the list. Are we even listening to the same band? The eclectic arrangements and songwriting of tUnE-yArDs (whatever you think about the name), are fiercely naked, without the assumption of empirical music divinity. 

zaava
zaava like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

While I hate hipsters, I think I despise music snobs and critics just as much.

YepYup
YepYup

Feel free to have your opinions, but why care if somebody else likes this music. Just don't listen to it. I mean, I don't care about Debussy, but who really cares what I care? Tastes are subjective, baby.

nicthorn72
nicthorn72

listen to Kesha. She's sweaty and all the rest that you want. But I don't always want to hear stuff breaking when I wake up in the morning. For what its worth, he's not bearing my sonic torch-- nor is Kesha, just to be clear.

jdoug
jdoug like.author.displayName 1 Like

What? No Vampire Weekend?

artinjtavana
artinjtavana like.author.displayName 1 Like

If I see or hear another band that plays the fiddle - where the bass player wears a fedora - and where the guitar player cares more about his beard that his music...well...I'm going to walk right up to the drummer with the greased 1950's hair (with the fade) and tell him to buy a pair of fucking jeans and play music that doesn't sound like I just got kicked in the balls and woke up in whisky tasting session next to a girl named "Sid" whose favorite food is Korean BBQ. 


artinjtavana
artinjtavana

If I see or hear another band that plays the fiddle - where the bass player wears a fedora - and where the guitar player cares more about his beard that his music...well...I'm going to walk right up to the drummer with the greased 1950's hair (with the fade) and tell him to buy a pair of fucking jeans and play music that doesn't sound like I just got kicked in the balls and woke up in whisky tasting session next to a girl named "Sid" whose favorite food is Korean BBQ. 


dizzies
dizzies

sorry didn't read the article, couldn't get past its title without puking up everything i ever ate

wormofthesenses
wormofthesenses like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

This article is 100% spot-on. Someone had to say it.

LAWeeklyblows
LAWeeklyblows

This is pathetic. Talking about lack of talent. Look in the mirror LA Weekly. Oh wait! Why don't you tell us some bands you think are cool ya douche bags! Or is this too hipster for you!

Webb
Webb

As much as I enjoy poking fun at shitty hipster bands, the set up for this article is ridiculous. I shouldn't have to skip through 20 pages, not user friendly whatsoever.

oftforgotten
oftforgotten like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

@Webb its what the bottom feeding parasites who write about people actually doing things do to get cumulative ad revenue from 20 page clicks

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