The 20 Worst Hipster Bands: 20-11

By Ben Westhoff Tue., Aug. 21 2012 at 4:00 AM

The Decemberists

The 20 Worst Hipster Bands: 10-1
Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time
Top 20 Musicians of All Time, in Any Genre
Top 20 Whitest Musicians of All Time

Who are these hipsters we see each day in the streets, on our Tumblr feeds, and on the local news? And why are so many in bands? It's not the mere existence of hipster groups that distresses us -- some of our best friends are hipsters, after all -- it's their lemming-like tendency to, if you'll pardon a mixed metaphor, ape each other.

On its surface hipsterdom seems to be an individuality-grab, but most of today's 20 and 30-something bands from Silver Lake and Williamsburg sound shockingly similar. They're all playing variations of retro garage and soul music -- or bringing glockenspiels and choirs on incestuous nationwide tours -- all the while clad in vintage garb likely infested with lice. Below, then, are the 20 worst offenders. -Ben Westhoff

The Black Keys

20. The Black Keys
The guitar-and-drums "blues" punk combo thing wasn't very good even when The White Stripes did it. Still, that hasn't stopped legions of bearded, be-flanneled ersatz blues men from bringing great shame upon their ancestors. The Black Keys stand at the very vanguard of posh cracker blues rock, displaying a lack of authenticity that would make John Fogerty blush. Further, whereas Jack White can actually play, Black Keys guitarist Dan Auerbach is more concerned with beard grooming and disheveling his hair. -Nicholas Pell

TV On The Radio

19. TV On The Radio
Sure, TV on the Radio concocted an original aesthetic, but it was so hideous we should be glad no one thought of it before. The supposed "soul"-indie fusion of their early work is walled up by rigor mortis drum machines, off-the-grid falsettos and drab, moaning textures. This wasn't helped by their look-at-us Pixies cover or calling their first record OK Calculator. Band member-producer David Sitek has even managed to make Scarlett Johanssen sound ugly. -Dan Weiss

Sleigh Bells

18. Sleigh Bells
Remember in 2010, when we all lost our collective minds over these guys, with their iPod beats, garage-metal guitars and schoolyard-chant vocals? It was, like, the most original sound ever! Then the second album came out and everyone was more like, "Huh. Actually, this kinda sounds like shit." Also, Alexis Krauss started wearing her own band merch at shows, which you're really only allowed to do if you're Morrissey. -Andy Hermann

Fun.

17. Fun.
One could argue that fun. is not a hipster band; that the sincerity behind songs like "We Are Young" by default bars them from the title. We argue that having punctuation in their name earns this distinction by default. The stylization is bad enough, but their music rides the very worn coattails of Arcade Fire and Edward Sharpe, the kind of overblown romanticizing of youth and self-destruction that at this point sounds more cliche than "carpe diem." -Andrea Domanick

Tags:

Arcade Fire, Black Keys, indie, The Worst Hipster Bands of All Time

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AGarcia01

Why pick on Wavves? Seems like going to Africa to step on an ant. It's a rather petty goldilocks criticisim - "trying too hard"? What's trying to be just hip enough?

pizzmoe

1 Like

What is the purpose of articles like these? What happened to the LA Weekly?

Megs21

My family's full of old, grizzled cranks who love blues and rock, and the Black Keys are the only 'recent' band they'll give any attention to. Also why aren't the Sheepdogs here?

jlkadsfoaehrw

1) What does the word "hipster" even mean anymore, anyway, and what makes these bands belong to that label?

2) How do you justify putting Black Keys, MGMT, and Decemberists on a worst of *anything* list, hipster or not? They may not be your style, and you apparently have contempt for their fans, but those aren't bad bands by any definition. It would appear you're simply trolling by picking universally acclaimed bands for a "worst" list. Mission accomplished, I guess?

IJamEcono

@marahe @maura Wait, when did Carles start writing for the LA Weekly?

marahe

@IJamEcono Not just writing, editing.

mstcambot

@marahe love your writing, finally following you here. and just saw you made a Waitresses reference, so yay. #jimmytomorrow

marahe

@mstcambot thanks!

wostlay

1 Like

This site is garbage, haven't lived here long but disappointed that this is one of the respected local publications. I enjoy tongue-in-cheek lambasting of music obsessions as a music nerd myself but none of these worst-of articles have any value from a humor or critical perspective whatsoever. Although Sleigh Bells is in fact terrible. Carry on.

LA_WEAKLY

@wostlay troll bait for the NPR crowd.

asdfghjkl

1 Like

Not a one of these is a legit hipster band. For christ's sake, I thought you people were an extension of the Village Voice, you ought to know what bands hipsters are into.

LAWeeklyMusic moderator editortopcommenter

@asdfghjkl Okay then, person who spells the keyboard, what are some legit hipster bands?

jonvantil

@bwesthoff

Couldn't keep up with your hipster peers? Sad.

radiofreeindie

@bwesthoff The main flaw in your approach is in the very premise that the term "Hipster Band" is being presented in a derogatory fashion as a blanket judgement against a whole group of people based on their physical appearance and clothing preferences. By doing so you are insulting all people who present themselves in a similar fashion, whom until today had been the bulk of your readers.

radiofreeindie

@bwesthoff Do you realize how out of touch it would have sounded if a writer for Rolling Stone Magazine published an article in 1972 called "20 Worst Hippie Bands" and proceeded to base their judgements on the musicians clothes and facial hair? How's that for perspective blog master?

Jezzer

@bwesthoff @asdfghjkl Girl, please. By the time someone rattles off some band names, hipsters will have already dropped them for even more pretentious bands no one has ever heard of.

haikuluke

Thank god someone finally wrote this.

mgmtee

@LAWeeklyMusic how is mgmt a hipster band? have you not heard them recently? sit your ass down

johnlinkgraney

@LAWeeklyMusic This is such pathetic garbage. And i know you know that. faux controversial pseudo intellectual traffic driving bullshit.

LAWeeklyMusic

@johnlinkgraney I'd say more faux traffic intellectual pseudo shit bull-driving than anything else

johnlinkgraney

@LAWeeklyMusic well ... you're the expert

lydzzzz

@LAWeeklyMusic u mad?

LAWeeklyMusic

@lydzzzz YES!

lydzzzz

LOLOL RT @LAWeeklyMusic @lydzzzz YES!

missdoodahday

@JQ3PO @laweeklymusic "The Top 20 Whitest Musicians of All Time" READING NOW...LOL! I like this guy.

tigermouth

@JQ3PO I agree on a couple--I don't like the decemberists.

writertheband

@JQ3PO @laweeklymusic can't believe this was written in 2012

MollyBergen

@NicholasPell Exactly like that!

dannyclarke11

The main problem for me is the voice. It's always the same jellykneed wimp. Taste is subjective, of course, but this is urban douchebag music to me and has been since Dino Jr.