The Lion King's "Hakuna Matata": Why This Song Sucks
And those first five monkeys they show, those are only the ones we know about. There's no telling how many monkeys he killed.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT PUMBA DID WHEN HE FOUND OUT THAT HIS ANUS WAS SINGLE-BUTTEDLY DESTROYING THE MONKEY COMMUNITY, THAT HIS WAS A ROTTEN ANUSED HITLER TO THE MONKEY JEWS? He said, "...Fuck it. Hakuna matata, bro," and then walked right the fuck on. That's an abomination, yo. How about this, Pumba: Clean your butthole and maybe drink less milk.
From there, once they've reeled in the witless cub, they drop the hammer on him. Timon, clearly the brains of the twosome, asserts, "Listen, kid. If you live with us, you have to eat like us." !!!
Shortly thereafter, he's like, "Yeah, so here, eat these bitch ass bugs, yo." (Paraphrasing.)
ABSOLUTELY OUTLANDISH. What next? Racism?
Deviant sex acts?
MURDER?
Fuck you, Walt Disney. We're onto you.
Conclusions:
(I) Pumba is the greatest monkey assassin of all.
(II) Timon was probably friends with cultist Jim Jones.
(III) Simba has likely had sex with animals who aren't lions and he's maybe strangled a girl that lost her way in life.
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