Top Five Metal Christmas Songs (Now With More Manowar!) \m/

By Drew Tewksbury Mon., Dec. 24 2012 at 4:00 AM

Categories: Christmastime, Bitches

Continued from page 1

3. Theocracy
"Bethlehem"

While many metal Christmas songs are meant to be ironic, Christian metal band Theocracy takes the day seriously on their song "Bethlehem. " The song functions like many from the classic 1980's thrash era, beginning with the acoustic ballad section, then blowing up into an explosion of extended guitar solos and choruses of soaring vocals.

Metalometer: 2.878 Metal Horns Up \m/ \m/ .8787\m/

2. Mariah Carey Blast Beat version

When it comes to litmus tests of metal, Mariah Carey may very well be the most unmetal person of all time (along with Larry King). So what would it take to make the sort-of insane diva into a metal god? According to this English drummer, all it takes is a blast beat. Although he's clad in a decisively unmetal outfit involving a Super Mario shirt, some camo shorts and a tinsel garland, he delivers blast beats that are crazier than Carey hopped up on mimosas and Percoset.

Metalometer: 4.5 Devil Horns Way Up \m /\m/ \m/ \m/ .5\m/

And the number one metal Xmas song is...