Classic Rock Is a Cancer on Our Society
This sad story speaks to a lack of imagination among our generation. Don't get me wrong: Anyone without a working knowledge of Blonde on Blonde and Rumours is missing out. But the 1,500th listen to "Start Me Up" really should involve some grown men crying. Card-carrying young people Ke$ha and Maroon 5 should be ashamed of themselves for glorifying Mick Jagger.
There's so much new music available for free these days that members of the Internet Age have no excuse for listening to classic rock other than sheer apathy. Shelling out $100 for Neil Young tickets is making us broke, while compelling local bands are playing at venues down the street for practically nothing.
This is generational warfare, and we're losing, people. So let's fight back. Turn off the Jethro Tull. Walk out of dinner parties where the hosts put Heart on the stereo. Bolt at the mere mention of foxy ladies. Huey Lewis be damned: Let's drive a stake through the heart of classic rock 'n' roll until it is no longer beating. Stop kickin' down the cobblestones and, for god's sake, stop feeling groovy.
Editor's note: This post originally appeared in SF Weekly back in the author's freewheeling freelance days.