Listening to Four Hours of Dubstep While Reading 50 Shades of Grey Was a Terrible Idea

4:38 pm: Although, maybe not. "This isn't a party, this is a fucking revolution! Now shake that ass in the disco light," go the song's lyrics.

4:45 pm: At the coffee shop, Ana's heart is "thumping a dramatically uneven beat." The beat in the song "Erupt," meanwhile, is extremely unbalanced and noisy.

4:47 pm: Track four is the dubstep version of "Gangnam Style." Ugh.

4:50 pm: Okay, it's time for another, more massive glass of wine.

5:10 pm: Roommate pops head in: "HEY SEXY LADY!"

5:26 pm: So. Much. Bass.

5:38 pm: Ana drunk dials Christian. The song is "Dial Tone Glitch." COINCIDENCE?

5:39 pm: Need more wine.

5:40 pm: Christian and Ana are on the dance floor together. If like we they are also listening to music that sounds like a lawn mower with laser beams, then they surely have much excitement ahead of them.

5:41 pm: Ana doesn't remember leaving the bar, and wakes up wearing almost nothing in Christian's hotel room. We'd imagine too much dubstep also has that effect.

5:46 pm: Ana says Christian's sweat does odd things to her. Meanwhile, we are losing our equilibrium.

5:50 pm: "I want to join him in the shower right now...my hormones are racing," says Ana.

6:00 pm: While Ana takes a hot steamy shower with herself, the CD sounds like a garbage disposal mating with a blender. Ew.

6:15 pm: Our brain is literally pounding. The third disk has FINALLY started.

6:20 pm: Ana and Christian are hooking up in the elevator. The song "Let the Spot Get Blown" plays. Ana describes it as "all bump and grind." Once again, we are slightly uncomfortable.

6:23 pm: We're going to make some popcorn.

6:31 pm: And get some more wine.