The Top Ten Awesomely Absurd and Absurdly Awesome Clutch Lyrics

By Jason Roche Wed., Mar. 20 2013 at 3:30 AM

Clutch

Throughout two decades and ten albums, D.C. rock outfit Clutch has evolved into one of the mightiest blues-rock bands around. One of the tangibles that make Clutch stand out is vocalist Neil Fallon, whose lyrical output and delivery at times borders on the edge of both awesomely absurd and absurdly awesome. With the band's new album Earth Rocker coming out this week, let's take a moment to revisit our favorite Clutch lyrics.

10. "Walking In The Great Shining Path of the Monster Trucks"(1:13-1:26)
From: Transnational Speedway League (1993)
Sample lyric: Well I rolled Jesse Helms like a cigarette/ And smoked him higher than the highest of the minarets/ Jesse James couldn't even handle it /
Started looking at me like I was Sanskrit
Analysis: In a song loaded with references to crashing Cadillacs through the gates of hell and a comparison of Evil Knieval to the great scholar Virgil, it is a testament that THIS is the set of lyrics that stand out the most.

9. "The Elephant Riders" (1:21-1:45)
From: The Elephant Riders (1998)
Sample lyric: On our way to Washington where work is done by men with gavels/ I heard a sound that just about removed me from my filly's saddle/
Just outside of Antietam, where once there was a mighty battle /
I heard the rhythm of the hammers beating the rail lines together
Analysis: History lessons about the Civil War era have never been more badass.

8. "Pure Rock Fury" (0:18-0:42)
From: Pure Rock Fury (2001)
Sample lyric: Hands down the illest ventriloquist this side of the Mississippi River/ That's right operator smoother than faders on an automated sound board / Andretti's never raced me but if he wants to oh I'm ready / Coordination of the eye and hand is not my strong point but I make due with what I have
Analysis: We really hope that the ventriloquist brings his dummy to ride shotgun when he gets around to racing Andretti.

7. "Burning Beard" (0:12-0:50)
From: Robot Hive / Exodus (1995)
Sample lyric: Every day I wake up we drink a lot of coffee and watch the CNN/ Every day I wake up to a bowl of clover honey and let the locusts fly in /
Lobsterbacks attack the town again / Wrap all my things in aluminum/ Beams of darkness streak across the sky / Pink rays from the ancient satellite
Analysis: The British have attacked! Of course the proper procedure is to protect all of your belongings from the surveillance satellites.

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oldtennisshoes

Let the list go on!
Clutch's song '10001110101' from their album 'Robot Hive' has the line, "Temple of Syrinx having the bake sale of the year," which is an attribution reference and a nod to 2112 by Rush, who in turn had a similar binary-code lyric chorus in their song 'The Body Electric.' Hope that helps clarify things, but probably not. @oldtennisshoes

captjosh

oh so many but to leave out "Ive got your mothers maiden name tatooed on my arm." Is a crying shame

vasquez.emmanuel

its not pink rays from the ancient satellite , its "papyrus from the ancient satellite"

bevan.e.johnson

@vasquez.emmanuel Nope - it's Pink Rays, all right. It's a reference to Philip K. Dick's semi-autobiographical novel VALIS, which relates to an experience he had when he felt that he was struck by a pink beam emitted by a pre-human satellite orbiting Earth which granted him the sensation of gnosis, the rapid re-acquisition of forgotten knowledge. This event also left him with the sudden awareness of a dire medical condition his son had, altho there were no outward symptoms - on his insistence, the child was taken to the doctor and treated, saving his life.

vasquez.emmanuel

@bevan.e.johnson well that just makes more sense. I could have sworn that I read Papyrus off the pro-rock.com site in the lyrics page a long ass time ago. I just checked again and it does indeed say "pink rays." Thanks Bevan! I think you should have analysed all of the lyrics. You do a better job than Mr. Roache!

bevan.e.johnson

PKD is a phenomenal (and phenomenally weird) author. VALIS is actually part of a trilogy, along with The Divine Invasion and The Transmigration of Timothy Archer. Three books about three separate understandings of the nature of identity and divinity, along with coping with the possibility of schizophrenia eroding one's awareness of an objective universe, all couched in varying degrees of sci-fi psychosis.

It's definitely one of my favorite callouts on the entire album, along with the many niche allusions in 10001110101.

vasquez.emmanuel

@bevan.e.johnson also I will be purchasing the novel off amazon thanks to you!

frankd_1977

They didn't even touch the Pitch Fork album or anything off of the remastered Pitch Fork and Lost Needles.

jvsmith

1 Like

What about the best line from a Clutch song that best describes Clutch? "In the north they call us rebels , in the south they call us yankees because every other sucker is born to do the hokey pokey , with the skillet lickin time keepers , the grinning reapers of a missionary rock star! - Rock N' Roll Outlaw

JasonRocheLAW

@jvsmithThat one was under heavy consideration as well. Shoot, I could see the justification behind an argument that this list should just be every set of lyrics from Rock 'N' Roll Outlaw