Should My Boyfriend Get Checked for STDs?
Dear Willie D:
I'm in a long-distance relationship with a good man, but the miles are starting to wear on my patience -- not to mention my pocketbook. We met at a business seminar two years ago in Miami where he is an architect for a reputable firm. Since I live and work in L.A., we don't get to spend much time together.
I've been under a lot of stress lately with my job. When I come home it would be nice to actually see, touch and talk to the man I'm in love with about my issues and how my day went. I have wonderful friends, but it's depressing when I hang out with them and everybody is all snuggled up and smooching on their significant others. I don't want to break up with him and neither of us wants to move. Please advise?
Like that movie starring Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton, something's gotta give. Since you're still in love and neither of you wants to move, the obvious thing to do is hang in there and allow time to bring you closer together. When you're feeling down and vulnerable, before you start thinking negatively about your relationship you might want to reference the myriad of personal opinions from women around the world who will testify in a court of law that a good man is hard to find.
In this cold dark world where it seems that everyone is out for self, I for one would not risk searching for another good woman if I already had one. Your relationship is at a crossroads, and as always, when approaching intersecting streets you must be very cautious or you could end up in a wreck.
Spoiler alert: Long-distance relationships are extremely difficult and require a focused commitment from both sides. Been there, done that, took pictures, filmed it, got the T-shirt, the mug, the cap, and the keychain.
Dear Willie D:
I'm a teacher at an inner-city high school who has been cursed out, pushed and had my life threatened by students, all in the past week. There is no accountability for unruly students, nor do incompetent teachers have to answer for underperforming.
I have tried implementing programs to assist my kids with learning and anger management but my hands end up tied again and again by the principal and those with administrative powers, such as the superintendent.
The kids have issues, but most of them really aren't bad. They're just dealing with bad situations at home. Students have come to me with stories of sexual abuse, going to bed hungry, being beaten by their mother and shot at or pistol-whipped. Many of them have never met their father and don't know what he looks like. So when I come into contact with them, I'm sympathetic and patient with the problems they face. But I'm not a pushover. I'm firm but I'm fair.
I love my students and have gone out of my way to provide money for field trips, food and senior fees. Many of them want a better life, but some of them are so beaten they seemed to have given up and lost hope. One student told me, why should he try to do the right thing when the government is building prisons with him in mind. How do I answer that, knowing he's right?
I told one boy to watch his mouth the other day and he promptly told me to kiss his you-know-what. I wrote him up, he went to the office and before the bell rang for the next period he was sitting in my class cursing again. How am I supposed to have order in my class and teach the kids who are there to learn when I don't have any authority over my own classroom?
I'm contemplating a transfer to a school where I can just go to work, collect my check and go home. I'm tired of being a counselor, a boxing referee and a punching bag. If I leave I know these kids won't have anyone in their corner fighting for them, but at this point I need someone to fight for me.
From what I understand, you had a similar experience growing up but you were able to make it through and do well for yourself. How did your educators reach you or did someone else inspire you?