I Tried To Teach My Sons About Music While Fishing But Instead They Just Did Karate Moves On The Beach
10:03: Dudebros, this is not going how I planned. They're not even listening to the music. Black Star's "Definition" came on (Black Star is maybe the most underappreciated rap duo that's ever been -their Mos Def & Talib Kweli are Black Star album is very nearly perfect) and I said, "Hey, boys, this song is one of my..." and before I could finish Boy A said, "Daddy, wanna see a magic trick?" and then he took a handful of bait and threw it off the pier. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
10:14: Both of them now: "Daddy, if you feel a tug, that's a fish. Just pull the pole and you'll catch him." BITCH I KNOW HOW TO FISH. I'm about to dropkick both of these fools right into the Gulf of Mexico.
10:19: Ewww. Okay. An old man next to us caught a sea snake. What an awful looking little thing. If I catch a sea snake as soon as I see it I'm throwing my pole in the water and sprinting right the fuck off this pier. I think this is a good stopping point. The boys managed to completely ignore Stevie Ray Vaughan's "Pride and Joy" so I guess they don't even really have hearts or emotions. They've been asking to go play on the beach for a bit so we'll go down there and I'll let them run around for an hour and then we'll cut out.
10:24: The boys are at the shore practicing karate moves. I'm not sure I've ever seen anything more majestic. I'm really disappointed that I don't have the "You're The Best Around" song from The Karate Kid loaded in my phone right now. Still, if one of them starts to glow like Bruce Leroy in The Last Dragon, this'll all have been worth it.
11:11: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The boys were sitting down at the edge of the water doing whatever and a GIGANTIC FROM NOWHERE wave came and destroyed them. It sent them tumbling all the way up the beach. They got up all soaked like, "WHAT THE FUCK, BRO???" The best. That's it. That one was definitely delivered from heaven. Good one, SRV. Let's take it the house.