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Will The Real Joaquin Phoenix Stand Up? New Rhymes for (or from?) a Budding Rapper

by Randall Roberts
January 27, 2009 2:17 PM

Recently two comment posts have appeared as part of our Joaquin Phoenix Attempts a 'Reverse Will Smith' coverage, and we've been very impressed. In fact, we're kinda wondering whether MC Joaquin isn't floating us a few rhymes to see how they play in the real world. You be the judge:



comment #1, from mcerock:

My name is Joaquin
I'm on da scene.
Scratchin' out rhymes
stored up in my bean.
Casey in my face
tryin' to chase
my creativity
up in this place.
Y'all gonna choke
when u see it's a joke
just to promote.
That's all, he wrote.
Peace.

The second entry is from someone named Joaquin Phoenix. Is it real? You be the judge.

My name is Joaquin
threw ma career in the bin
i got a stitch lip
its like the the mouth version of the sty
im the white version of t.i
and thats why.......
i walk the line

hollywood denied me my oscar but thats fine
no point cry'n
solve me my problems with 4 bottles of wine
i guess its time.....

Maybe the Real Joaquin trying out his rhymes on an unsuspecting public? Then there's this one, which was channeled into my head a few minutes ago, I'm pretty sure from Joaquin himself:

Phoenix rising, sweat pants falling
MC Joaquin, done with stalling
Screenplays are for fakers
Rap for moneymakers
Celebrities? Necessities!
Can I see your titties?
Lift up your shirt, pull down your bra
while Casey Affleck films it on the camera

Perhaps we can help Joaquin write his album for him?

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