​See also: Top Ten Best Replacement Singers in Rock and Metal

At the beginning of the year, Boston metalcore giants Killswitch Engage announced that they had parted ways with vocalist Howard Jones, and two weeks ago they announced they were bringing their first vocalist, Jesse Leach, back into the fold. At the very least, it seems a way to ensure they won't show up on our list of the least successful replacement singers in rock and metal. Yes, Virginia, Gary Cherone (above) is involved.

10. Every Dead Kennedys vocalist not named Jello Biafra
Dead Kennedys (2001-present)
Disputes over royalty payments and licensing have left Jello Biafra on the sidelines while the rest of the Dead Kennedys continue to play punk rock festivals as a sad nostalgia act. Vocalists since 2001 have included non-luminaries such as Dr. Know frontman Brandon Cruz, Jeff Penalty, and current vocalist Skip Greer. No singer yet has matched the energy and power that Biafra's vocals gave to these songs. More >>

​What makes a terrible band? Is it being prepared to do the wrong thing, whatever the price? That and a pair of testicles. Only, some of the below groups possess testicles only in the symbolic sense. Because, even if you're composed of ladies, it takes balls to make music that is simultaneously pretentious and dopey, derivative and uniquely craptastic. And so in that spirit we present the worst bands of all time. As with our top 20 greatest musicians of all time and top 20 hair metal albums of all time lists, we take this shit very seriously, even enlisting objective third party analysts to review our findings for accuracy. -Ben Westhoff

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​See also:
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time: #20-16
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time, #15-11
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time, #10-6

5. Animal Collective
I really wanted to like Merriweather Post Pavilion, even going far out of my way to appreciate the record as it was surely intended: super-stoned, miles from civilization in the northern California woods. Still, no dice. The problem is that Animal Collective are a special kind of unlistenable; their albums don't reward active engagement, but they don't make good background music, either. Their brand of twee is cloying and grating like an attention-starved, sugar-crashing eight-year-old who wants you to admire his finger painting, while you're trying to wash the dishes. -Ben Westhoff

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​See also:
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time: #20-16
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time, #15-11
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time: #5-1

10. Pussycat Dolls
The Pussycat Dolls may seem like an easy target, but they're actually a quite difficult one, considering they're less band than brand. There's their reality show and various line-up shifts, of course, but the details of those are too depressing to go into. Getting angry with the Pussycat Dolls is like getting angry with Bank of America or Walmart. That said, fuck Walmart. -Kai Flanders

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​See also:
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time: #20-16
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time, #10-6
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time: #5-1

15. Pretty Ricky
Emerging with their mid-aughts hit "Grind With Me," Pretty Ricky somehow managed to lower the bar when it came to heartthrob groups with baby-oil-smeared chests. It's excellent that they've got great abs, and they certainly have the right to wear their shiny jackets wide open. But their musical sensibilities are questionable; someone in the group seems to have decided that New Jack Swing was too subtle. Pretty Ricky's rap-R&B hybrid is so tasteless and tacky, even, that it could make Mariah Carey blush. The point here is seduction, but it's hard to be seduced when you're nauseous. -Ben Westhoff

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​See also:
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time, #15-11
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time, #10-6
*Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time: #5-1

What makes a terrible band? Is it being prepared to do the wrong thing, whatever the price? That and a pair of testicles. Only, some of the below groups possess testicles only in the symbolic sense. Because, even if you're composed of ladies, it takes balls to make music that is simultaneously pretentious and dopey, that is both derivative and uniquely craptastic. And so in that spirit we present, below, the worst bands of all time. As with our top 20 greatest musicians of all time and top 20 hair metal albums of all time lists, we take this shit very seriously, even enlisting objective third party analysts to review our findings for accuracy. -Ben Westhoff

20. Spin Doctors
Did you know that Blues Traveler's John Popper used to be a member of this damn group? That may explain why a Spin Doctors song is a bit like herpes. You get infected at a young age when you don't know any better. When you think it's finally gone, it rears its ugly head again. The mere mention of tracks like "Two Princes" create an earworm so powerful that you're going to need to see an ENT doctor. Forget Chris Barron's scraggly beard; the real problem with the Spin Doctors is their enduring lightweight retro "jam" song legacy on crappy corporate radio. Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in. -Nicholas Pell

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​Big news: Birmingham, Alabama hard rock outfit Maylene and the Sons of Disaster have a new music video out, and it's also a disaster! The press release says the work, for the song "Open Your Eyes," is akin to a short film. But it's actually torture porn. Even worse: the plot is ridonkulous, and it makes Danny Trejo look like a jerk.

Now, we love Trejo, and everyone has to eat, but having more-or-less eclipsed character acting with Machete, one would think his belly would now be full. How then to explain "Open Your Eyes," the video for which is below? After all, it's got the most haphazardly-conceived plot we've ever seen in a music video, and that includes this.

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​William Gibson called them "the most genuinely subversive" band in late-20th Century pop. Bryan Cranston sneaks winking references to them into Malcolm In The Middle and Breaking Bad episodes. Ice Cube sampled them and The Roots play them on Jimmy Fallon. Who are they? The gold standard in rock and roll pretentiousness, Steely Dan.

What I have in common with all of these guys is that I, too, have a fanatical love of The Dan. We call ourselves "Danfans" -- amazing, right? -- and we'll quickly kill half an hour jawing your ear off about the virtues of this act, primarily a two-person collaboration between Walter Becker and Donald Fagen with a rotating cast of session musicians. The Dan formed when Denny Dias, founder of The Dan, placed an ad seeking bass and keys, admonishing "no assholes need apply." Thankfully Becker and Fagen ignored the warning. In a few years they had ousted Dias from his own band. What a couple of pricks.

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Now I need a doctor

​Seeing as Detox still shows no signs of life -- seriously, another couple years of this and we're going to get angry -- what's a real G supposed to do? For that matter, what are we supposed to do?

Well, there certainly is plenty of prime Dr. Dre material ripe for re-purposing. So, in that spirit, indie label Versailles Records -- who specialize in tribute albums for everyone from Led Zeppelin to Tina Turner -- last month released The Chronic 2011: A Millenium Tribute To The Songs Of Dr. Dre. Is it any good? Not really, but it certainly beats waiting for Detox! Here's our track-by-track breakdown.

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​See also: The Worst Song Of The '90s? A Line-By-Line Dissection Of Alanis Morissette's "Ironic"

August marked the 20-year anniversary of Pearl Jam's Ten. Yes, for 20 soul-crushing years we've listened to Eddie Vedder mumble. Which is somehow even worse than Jeff Ament's endless procession of silly hats. Somehow Pearl Jam enjoy more acclaim than ever these days; it seems that mediocre rock bands, like ugly buildings, become respectable if they stick around long enough.

How did they get to be so boring? Let's explore their pedigree. Jeff Ament and Stone Gossard (is there a douchier name?) played in a group called Green River alongside Mark Arm and Steve Turner. The latter two went on to form Mudhoney. Ament and Gossard jammed with some dudes from Malfunkshun, a band even more terrible than its name, and later formed Mother Love Bone, who are most noteworthy for straddling the fence between grotesque '80s glam rock and pretentious '90s grunge rock. Eventually, the pair found self-important San Diegan Eddie Vedder, a name which has terrified children ever since.

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