Courtesy Bereft

See also: Intronaut's Tour Diary II: Buying Weed in the Middle of Nowhere

The members of Bereft describe their new band as "fun," despite the fact that the title of their debut album, Leichenhaus, comes from the German word for "mortuary" and there's a song called "Withered Efflorescence" on it.

The outfit was dreamed up by Sacha Dunable, who sings and plays guitar for Intronaut, a stoner post-metal outfit that recently broke big opening for Tool's arena tour. Next to join was Charles Elliott, who handles guitar and vocals for tech-death metal outfit Abysmal Dawn, currently opening for Cannibal Corpse. Bereft take their cues from U.K. doom-metal bands such as Paradise Lost and My Dying Bride.

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The American Males of "AMERICAN MALES! AMERICAN MALES!" fame.

See also: Rock Out With Your Lockout: 5 Awful Athlete Songs

Sunday is Wrestlemania 28, the WWE's annual sports-entertainment extravaganza. This year's card, headlined by The Rock vs. John Cena, is among the most anticipated of all time.

One of our favorite parts of the event is the spectacle of the superstars' entrances. While the greatest theme music, from Hulk Hogan's "Real American" to Steve Austin's glass-shattering, is fondly remembered as character-defining prime slices of Americana, the absolute worst are lost to the sands (or is that slams?) of time. We put the "sport of kings" in the Sharpshooter for a look at the five worst wrestling themes of all time.

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Neil Jacobs

Yes, that's Val Kilmer

See also:
*Our review of Ryan Adams, for whom Kilmer as Twain opened
*Renaissance Man Val Kilmer May Have Met his Match

A bomb threat has sealed off the streets surrounding us, but Val Kilmer is calm. His long blond hair tied back into a loose ponytail, the actor is wearing a blue blazer, blue and white checkered shirt, and Levis, and sitting on a couch in his publicist's Hollywood office. He pours himself tea from a thermos and water from a mason jar. As he points to a piece of carrot sticking out of the middle of his "healthy" hamburger patty, he jokes that the meal is nutritious.

This is the infamously difficult Val Kilmer?

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Bob Freeman

Michael Jackson's Children and Cirque Du Soleil Dancers

See also:
*Our preview of the Michael Jackson Cirque du Soliel Show
*MJ Tribute Concert Rolls Toward Cancellation; Oh, And His Kids Are More Or Less Contractually Required To Attend

There was a Michael-Jackson's-kids sighting on Hollywood Blvd, yesterday, as his estate had his hand and footprint ceremony at the Grauman's Chinese Theatre. Access Hollywood's Billy Bush hosted the event, declaring it "Michael Jackson immortalized day in Los Angeles." Sounds official!

The best part were the stories; at one point Chris Tucker got onstage and said he once spilled hot chocolate in Michael's Neverland study. Ever the gracious host...

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See also: A View of The Room

Widely regarded as the worst movie of all time, The Room has developed a cult following since debuting in 2003. Hundreds of fans armed with scripts, props, and costumes a la Rocky Horror Picture Show pack Laemmle's Sunset 5 Theater at midnight on the last Saturday of each month for screenings. There they can meet the film's enigmatic director and star Tommy Wiseau, who is largely responsible for the spectacularly bizarre maze of plot inconsistencies, incomprehensible sets, and inexplicable dialogue.

While Wiseau now calls his brainchild a "black comedy," its actors contend that he originally meant for it to be taken seriously (check out what Greg Sestero had to say in this hilarious podcast). Regardless, it's bad in the best possible way, and has inspired an entire online culture of fan generated spin-offs and parodies. Among an ever growing plethora of oddities are The Room video game, collectable Tommy Wiseau bobble-heads, and finally, an endless array of DIY music videos and mash-ups. Here then, are the five most ridiculous music videos inspired by The Room.

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Christiana Cefalu

True story

It's hard to believe, but five years have passed since the release of Kevin Federline's debut Playing With Fire, which came out on Halloween, 2006. It was a scary night for some, but K-Fed was on top of the world. Married to Britney Spears, he was psyched to finally bring his brand of hip-hop to the world.

Only six days later, however, he suddenly found his life in the gutter. The catalyst? His first live concert ever, held at New York's Webster Hall. It was a complete and utter disaster.

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Ben Westhoff

Jenny Lin

Strip clubs have long been important hip-hop testing grounds in the south. Artists try to bribe DJs to put their songs on, the logic being that lapdance tracks get seared into dudes' brains. Plus, in places like Atlanta, influential music industry folk tend to hang out there for hours, so it's a good place to network. They even eat the buffet.

And, of course, strippers and rockers go together, at least in the vicinity of the Sunset strip. But Echo Park/Silver Lake-style indie rock? Seems contrary to the nudie bar aesthetic. The bands and their fans tend to come from liberal, middle class backgrounds where paying money to see someone naked is quite gauche. But, seeing as they can put boobs on just about anything here in L.A., indie rock at the strip clubs has become a thing. We know, because we saw it with our own eyes at Cheetah's last Monday.

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The Prince of Darkness' new book, Trust Me, I'm Dr. Ozzy is a collection of advice columns for London's The Sunday Times and Rolling Stone. It turns out that these publications were willing to employ a man who once tattooed smiley faces on his knees so he'd have something to cheer him up while sitting on the toilet.

After 40 years of drugs and alcohol, Osbourne's been institutionalized. He's also been declared dead twice, mistakenly diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, and survived a plane crashing into his tour bus. Oh, and don't forget that he's beheaded a bat, beheaded a dove, swallowed a bee, and, while filming The Osbournes, took 42 different types of prescription medication a day.

Clearly, the man knows how to cheat death. And so, in anticipation of his book signing at Barnes & Noble at the Grove on Saturday at 3 pm, we've compiled his top six best health care tips from the book.

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The Secret Service was busy digging through the background of Adam Bravin, aka DJ Adam 12, when the two of us spoke yesterday. The reason? The spinner behind popular old school hip-hop party AFEX -- which debuts at Los Globos on Thursday night -- will perform at an Obama fundraiser at House of Blues later this month, which Obama is scheduled to attend. (It will also feature the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles and B.o.B. Bravin's like, on the invitation, which you can see at the bottom of this post.)

He DJed one of Obama's birthday parties in Hollywood last month, which was attended by Mayor Villaraigosa and Obama advisor David Axelrod but not Obama himself. Since then he's been pulled more closely into the presidential circle, however, with more gigs in the works. He gave us the scoop on how all of this came to be and whether Fox News is dictating his playlists.

Is the Secret Service about to call you? Should we make this quick?
They may or may not call me today. They're doing their background check, so they may have a few questions for me.

Are you worried about dirt they might find from your ex-girlfriends?
No, although that depends on how many girlfriends back they go.

So, at this point would you say you're Obama's official DJ?

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Hulton Archive/Antony Di Gesu

J.D. Salinger: This is giving me a headache.

Haven't you always wanted to hear a color-coded piano duet based entirely on the punctuation in J.D. Salinger's short stories Franny and Zooey? Well, esoteric art fiends, tonight you finally can!

Contrary to what you're thinking, "Franny and Zooey for Piano Duet" isn't a liberal arts kid's senior thesis--it's the project of local multimedia artist Marya Alford, and part of the literature-inspired exhibition "Suggested Reading" presented by L.A.'s Fellows of Contemporary Art (FoCA).

For those belonging to that very specific nerd faction at the intersection of lit geek and music scholar, "Franny and Zooey for Piano Duet" makes for great art porn. From Alford's website:

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