The other night, my wife and I had sex.
"Yeahhh, that's it right there, that's it, do it just like that"
Now, this isn't an altogether rare occurrence. The odds are against us (we've been together more than 10 years; we work multiple jobs; two profoundly talented 4-year-old cockblockers patrol the house endlessly like goddamn sex sniffing dogs), but we're still good for no less than once but no more than three times a week.
BTW, if you're married with two kids under five and you have sex four times a week, well, God bless you. I don't know if there's such a thing as a Nobel Sex Prize, but if there is, you deserve one.